Once upon a time, my life was relatively quiet, had very little chaos in it and sleep was just sleep. And then I had kids!
Like take for example, the fact that I now frequent a chiropractor once a week for adjustments and treatment for my lower back. I had some issues in my youth (fall on roller skates one time!), but during the last three days of being pregnant with Lily she literally broke my back. She sat on my sciatic nerve for those last three days and I could barely walk or sit leaving me with a lower back condition that still two years later is nowhere near perfect.
Flash forward to the present and I am at my weekly visit at the chiropractor, when the woman that does the upper body massages is talking to me. After she massaged me, I asked her if my back felt tight (which I did to me) and she tells me yes, but that it has been to her for sometime.
In the course of the conversation, she starts telling me about how she too has been feeling stiff in her back when she gets up in the morning, but that is because her husband seems to take up most of their bed. The masseuse is a lovely thirty-something woman not unlike myself, but has unlike me has no children of her own. I turn trying to be funny and say, “That is nothing and that she should sleep with Lily, who for a little person takes up her fair share of the bed, too!”
The same woman turns to me kind of shocked and asks, “Does Lily sleep with you?” I tell her that yes she does and then she asks me where Kevin sleeps. I proceed to tell her, he sleeps many nights on the couch. She says, “Oh that is bad, I would never let my kids sleep with me and don’t you miss your husband?”
My response, “Honestly even though she takes up half the bed, she sleeps and that means I sleep too. And as for my husband, I do and I don’t, because he is a snorer and she is at least more quiet than him!” Well at that bit of information, she looks quite frankly in shock and truly not sure how to take my comment.
After the conversation is over and I am home, I begin to think about what just happened. Guess what? I used to feel the same way as this woman, but once I had kids (plural) sleep became a precious commodity that I truly don’t want to part with or barter for. Probably sounds terrible, but I don’t care where my kids sleep as long as they do sleep. Hell, they could sleep on the roof if it meant they were sleeping peacefully (Ok that was a joke and I wouldn’t put my kids on the roof!).
But if you are a mother, I think you probably could relate and get my point. After all is said and done, what did I learn from this experience that I may have known, but just took for granted. I learned that one of the main differences between mothers and non-mothers can be summed up in one word, “Sleep” (or the lack thereof).
Check out this video clip from the original Look Who’s Talking movie that sum’s up how life changes for women when they become a mother (and get a good laugh too):
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Michelle Liew says
Mother hood is a life changing experience…or it wouldn't be mother hood. π Full of trials, but through it all, you get oodles of joy too, when you can stop to think about it! Thanks of sharing! Hey, I am commenter number 1!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Michelle and Glad to see you here first today. So true about Motherhood and would never disagree with you on that π π
JanineHuldie says
Richard, that is what my living room sounds like right about now with Kevin. He swears he doesn't snore, but I should seriously tape him, because it sounds like a freight train is indeed going through my house!! Thank you though and I am sure that I too will block out some of these things when the kids grow up, but then again I have the written word to prove it did happen, lol π
Amy says
I've seen that look of shock from people too. And I've noticed friends hesitate to tell people that they sleep separate from their spouse because of the kids in their bed. How do they not understand what it is like to be sleep deprived for YEARS!!! I would do anything for a good night sleep. π
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Amy and seriously I love those faces and in a way secretly can't wait until it is their turn to just gloat ever so slightly, lol!! I am with you on doing anything for a good night's sleep π π
Bill says
I'm not a mother, but I was a single parent for fourteen years….does that qualify me to comment? π Grab sleep anyway that you can….period! I don't care what other people may think…sleep is crucial if you are going to be a good parent. Good job Janine!
JanineHuldie says
Mother or father, I don't think it matters and you are definitely qualified to comment here. If you are the primary caregiver, then I think you can totally relate and my hat is off to you for being a wonderful father π π That said I agree that sleep is so very crucial and I loved writing about this, because it did kind of fascinate me that others without kids just can't truly get it or understand. Thank you as always π
Emily (OhBoyMom) says
Yeah that woman in the chiropractor's office clearly never had kids! My husband used to do the same thing…one (or two) kids in the bed and he'd make a b-line right for our son's bed. Makes perfect sense — sleep is a hot commodity when you have young kids! Now I have the opposite problem…with 1 teen and 1 tween, I have to rouse them out of their own beds most mornings! Sometimes I miss those nighttime snuggle sessions.:)
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Emily and she definitely doesn't have kids (I mean she is lovely woman), but she truly can't relate to how sleep is a very hot commodity when little kids come into play. I know all too well when they are teens my girls will probably not want to have much to do with me, but that is when I can I throw out there how at least Lily wanted to sleep with me (or all over me) most nights, lol!!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Steph!! Lol I take comfort in knowing that others like yourself feel similarly to me. I mean I love my husband, but actually sleep better without his snoring in our bed.
Ruchira says
Janine…you are doing the right thing sista. After my kid was born, my sleep is also precious 'cause I keep giving that argument to my family that if mommy is not fresh…she will be cranky and you all will not get good food on the table and the house will not be clean and things not found π
Just go with your gut feeling here 'cause you face the music at home and we just read it π Cheers!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Ruchira and do completely agree with you on your statement about mommy being fresh, because it is so true; nothing gets done if I am falling asleep on my feet at least not anything productive or that makes sense!!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Julie!! No truer words have been spoke and very much agree with you!!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Cari and I know the snoring is truly a killer. I love having my husband in our bed believe me, but the sad reality is just like you mentioned I also sleep better when he doesn't. I feel bad saying that, but it is true. That said children or no children, sleep is still a necessity and as you wrote 'amazing'!
Courtney~Club-Conten says
Not having much sleep myself last night, I definitely hear ya!
JanineHuldie says
That was me two nights ago Courtney and so not fun. Thanks and looks like I am truly not alone on this one!!
JanineHuldie says
Marian, thank you and glad to hear I am not the only that feels this way, lol π
gigigirl says
I could never survive without my sleep…..husband beware! Do what you have to do…..:)
JanineHuldie says
Oh thanks Aunt Gloria and can tell you I am on the same page about my Kevin beware when I don't get my sleep, lol π
JanineHuldie says
Kate, the things we do to get out kids to actually sleep. I used to rock Emma to sleep the first year of her life and carefully put her in the crib when she fell asleep and would tip toe out of her room so as not to wake her. When she transitioned to the toddler bed, I had already had Lily and Kevin would sleep on the floor next to her when she woke up crying. I think we just go in survival mode where sleep is concerned. Thanks for sharing and letting me know that we aren't the only ones who have had sleep issues!!
Stacy Harris says
I am so with you on that one… I have to say though, my kids are pretty good in this area. My son has on the occasion gotten up and climbed in bed with us. Sadly though, he is such a mover that I don't get any sleep that way. We take it when we can get it. Odd that I say that considering lately I have been getting up early to do my writing. Ahhh…. who needs sleep anyway! π
JanineHuldie says
Stacy, glad you too can relate and it is really refreshing to know I am not alone here. As for the getting up early to write, I have been doing the opposite and staying up late. My mornings are to catch up on others' posts before my beasts stir, lol!! So my sleep has been lessened with my writing on both ends and that is why my sleep is even more precious now π
Cydni says
Aww, you have your hands full! Well, kudos to you for being a power mom and being there for Lily when she wants to sleep with you. Awwww. π
JanineHuldie says
Thank you too Cyndi. I try my very best and deep down I will admit that when she gets all cuddly and mushy, I know I will miss this when she grows up and this is over, but that said I am tired and if she will sleep than it is truly a huge bonus in my eyes!!
Stephanie Sprenger says
Sleep definitely trumps all. And when it comes to kids, never say never. I said I would *never * let my kids sleep with me, and I didn't with my first. Baby number two was a different story …at 13 months she finally spends most, not all, of the night in her own room. Your chiro may find out someday that her own ideas for her kids don't turn out as planned. You do what you gotta do!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Stephanie and so very true that sleep does trump all and I don't doubt that if she does have her own kids in the future she will see this, too!! That said my first I would never let sleep with me, but just like you by the second that all went out the window, lol π
Melanie Chisnall says
Your girls are blessed little angels, and they don't even realize it! π I'm not a Mom so I can't relate – but, I love my sleep – I want to kill when I don't have enough, and I think I'd probably do the same thing if I was in your situation. Great post and I love that movie!! π
JanineHuldie says
Melanie, I feel the same way about my sleep and remembered imagining how I would cope having kids and not sleeping. ThenI had Emma, who had colic and never slept for almost the first year of her life. That is truly why now I do whatever I can to indeed get my sleep. That said thank you for sharing and letting me know that I am not the only who values sleep π π
Aprille says
that video is hilarious.
My son has never been a good sleeper. I just live exhausted… lol
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Aprille and glad you enjoyed the video. I know what you mean about not having a good sleeper. Emma had colic and barely slept for the first year of her life. I was blessed with Lily who was a wonderful sleeper as an infant, but as a toddler has given me a run for my money. So I truly can't win for trying!!
pete says
Well in this case I'm really glad we bought a new couch over the summer! As long as they sleep….I like it!
JanineHuldie says
Pete, as long as your couch is comfy I think you will be fine, lol!! Seriously thank you and I am sure all will go fine in the end π