Logically I know I should be beaming, or at the very least feeling all warm and fuzzy after the past week of celebrations.
See July is a month of remembering some of the most important times in our family’s lives.
Right after the 4th of July, my husband and I celebrate our wedding anniversary on the 8th, next up is another anniversary of sorts with our first date that occurred only 4 days after, but three years previous to our wedding day on the 12th.
Then only a little less then a week later, it is our oldest daughter’s birthday on July 17th.
Yet, here I was feeling like this lump was growing daily in my throat and the tears were being swallowed back from flowing freely after all is said and done.
I was never one to worry or feel down about time being of the essence, but as each honored fete had passed me by this month, I couldn’t help, but note that all the good and wonderful to come from each amazing moment in time, but still my heart was feeling oh so heavy.
Why was I so glum?
I think as I was recalling the past and all the happiest moments in my own life, I began to realize that they were just that and in the past.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have so much to be overjoyed about, including with a handsome, smart and fun loving husband, as well as being mom to two perfectly beautiful growing girls.
But time is for all intents and purposes flying right by me.
I made a solemn vow as most know to take more time off this summer after three long, grueling summers of working right through all the crazy, yet daily goodness right there under my nose.
I missed out and jibbed myself of some of the most precious times with my family in summers past indeed.
Basically I went through the motions and was there physically, but mentally I was somewhere else worrying about things I couldn’t control, including work, which as a freelancer would and could wait for another day.
“Shattered in tatters and battered”, as Mick Jagger and The Stones once penned.
I have bemoaned finding more of a balance with work, life and family often enough here.
If there is one thing I have learned in the last few years of working from home is that time is seriously of the essence.
What may seem oh so important right there in the moment with an article needed to be written, a client thinking they might need something urgently, social media time warps and more, truly not what matters in the long run.
These will all be there the next day and if they aren’t, then as my grandmother always would have said, “There weren’t mean to be.”
Maybe it is because I am inching my way closer to 40 and beginning to get wiser, as well as more pensive.
I have given myself permission to break and enjoy this summer.
And so far I have done just that.
You might have noticed me being less present here or socially, which for me had felt a bit odd at first, but slowly I have grown to embrace and enjoy it so completely.
See Maniac Mondays have become as The Bangles once could only dreamed of my “Funday” just like Sundays sleeping in, time more on my side and overall the weekdays, in general, are less frazzled, such as playing hooky on Friday afternoon to take in the summer 3D movie hit, The Minions.
More memories are being made on the smaller scale overall lately and still yet soon on the larger scale with a Disney week long vacation in only a week or so here.
I make no promises. I will be more or less on this scaled back and laid back mode for at least another month until school is back in session for my girls and summer vacation comes to an end.
Until then, I am out and about making more lasting memories.
Don’t get me wrong, you aren’t getting rid of me that easily, but still…
Isn’t that what it is all about?!
****On a side note, I am on the Today Parenting Team Challenge: Back to School with my article, 4 Killer iPad Apps to Help for Kindergarten Readiness. If you haven’t checked out my article over there, please do so and would truly appreciate if you could click the top lefthand button to “VOTE UP” my article, too.
This post was written for the One Word Blog Linkup that is hosted by Lisa of The Golden Spoons and yours truly, too.
The words for this week are: Shatter or Whisper; Please feel free to linkup and join us this week.
[inlinkz_linkup id=548564 mode=1]