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By Janine

10 Simple Steps When Moms Lose Their Cool

Filed Under: Being a mom, BLOG, parenting, parenting two kids Tagged With: Being a Mom, getting upset, Parenting

Another confession here…I may have recently lost my cool when I thought my younger daughter was having an issue at school.

OK, I may also have a tendency to overreact in general. Especially if it involves my kids and their well-being.

I have lost count how many times I have indeed lost it over the years as a mom.

See I am well versed in the notion that I am my kids’ best advocate.

Since I am just that, I have found myself on more than one occasion having to go to bat for them. Subsequently, I may have erupted like similar to Mount St. Helens Volcano on a bad day.

Why?

Because the fight reaction is strong when I perceive my kids being in need of protecting.

But sometimes, I might go overboard. I may not be proud of it. But still for the sake of my kids, I would do whatever it takes to make sure that nothing harms or hurts them ever.

Here are my own mom’s 10 losing your cool steps…

10-simple-steps-when-moms-lose-their-cool-2

1. Sense a disturbance in the mom force field.

All could be going fine on any given day. But just like that as a mom, you will be able to sense when something isn’t right. Then it is on for this mom on a mission.

How do u react when u sense a disturbance in mom force field?

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2. Go into panic mode.

Once something is wrong, commence mom panic mode. See it is that simple, because once something is found to be amiss, panicking is just second nature.

 

3. Immediately call, email, text or send smoke signals.

After panicking has occurred, the next phase is to take action. This can be in the form of phone call(s), emails, texts or any way that you can to make contact with others who may be able to come to your aid or at the very least attempt to calm your nerves.

 

4. Have your heart in your throat.  

While fielding the first 3 steps, my heart with invariably be lodged in my throat making it that much more difficult to see clearly during the situation at hand.

 

5. Obsess, obsess, and obsess some more.

As if panicking and more from above isn’t enough, I will most likely continue to obsess over the finer details of the problem at hand. Why? Because I simply can.

 

6. Cry for no reason.

This one can get activated easily. Because as upset and annoyed as I may be, tears seem to inevitably occur, because the aforementioned lump in my throat needs to find its way out of me. 

 

7. Do whatever possible to get to the bottom of it.

Through it all though, I am indeed a mom on a mission. So, when all else may fail, I will still perservere and survive. Therefore, I will handle the problem at hand, making good for my kids.

 

8. See the error of your overreacting ways.

The situation was handled. However, I am able for a short period of time to see that I may have slightly overreacted.

 

9. Cooler mom heads prevail finally.

The mom storm is over. Therefore, I now am calm and collected for another day.

 

10. Rinse, repeat, lather…

Lets do it again soon!

 

There you have it a mom confession of mega proportions from this mom today.

Now, have a laugh from The Goldberg’s mom, Beverly, who is the ultimate mom at losing her cool for her kids’ sakes:

Moms, let me know I am not alone in the comments on losing your cool when you may think your kid may need protecting.

*Linking this up this week with Kristi of Finding Ninee and Finish the Sentence Friday, where the sentence to complete is, “When I’m upset, I…”

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Seana Turner says

    November 15, 2016 at 7:26 am

    Usually when something terrible happens, I get calm. But when something happens with my kids, I’m more emotionally involved, and have a tougher time controlling my emotions. I think it helps when I stop and breathe.. especially a slow exhale. Walking outside can also help, and texting a friend who will text me back off the ledge:)

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 7:27 am

      Seana, this is just it when it is about my kids I have a hard time staying cool and am more emotionally invested indeed. But agree talking to a friend does help still πŸ™‚

  2. Ginny Marie says

    November 15, 2016 at 8:14 am

    Yes, those situations are hard for us moms! i tend to obsess about certain situations, and can’t let go! You are not alone!

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Glad to know I am not alone and in very good company still though πŸ˜‰

  3. Jen says

    November 15, 2016 at 8:15 am

    Yes mam, Mount Vesuvius has nothing on me when I think someone has messed with my kids. One of my children knowing how I react once brought me a drink of lemonade and told me I needed to sit down before they told me the story of what happened in their day. In real life emergencies I am pretty calm, but just don’t go messing with my kids. Or else…..

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Same here, when it is about my kids all bets are off!

  4. Meredith Spidel says

    November 15, 2016 at 8:48 am

    I SO get this, friend! Solidarity in the mama bear reactions πŸ™‚ Someday we’ll figure this all out, right? πŸ˜‰

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 8:50 am

      I sure hope so, but until then at least we are together in this, too <3

  5. William Holland says

    November 15, 2016 at 9:39 am

    Oh, Janine, you and I would get along fine. I have no idea how many times I lost my cool while raising my son. My normal mild-manner turns ugly when my kid is threatened, plain and simple, so YOU GO, GIRL!

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 9:40 am

      Thank you for sharing that with me, Bill and I already though we’d get along splendidly, but now more than ever I know we truly would from this πŸ˜‰

  6. Kathy Radigan says

    November 15, 2016 at 9:45 am

    I get eerily calm during all types of crisis but when it’s my kids I feel like I’m dying inside. When your baby is in trouble you really do feel as if you could hurt someone. Great post!!! And I love your new site, looks great! xo

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 9:46 am

      Thank you Kathy for your kind words about my new site design and I know when it is about my kids I, too, do feel like I could hurt someone, as well. xoxo

  7. Kristen Hewitt says

    November 15, 2016 at 10:28 am

    GREAT post and I LOVE your new layout and re-branding!!

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 10:31 am

      Thank you on both counts so much, Kristen!! πŸ™‚

  8. The Rambler says

    November 15, 2016 at 10:48 am

    I’m raising my hands yelling Hallejuah!!!!! Haha…and every other way a mom can express understanding! I loved the video clip at the end…I need to get into that show!
    When my kid was in 1st grade, she had a little bully of a kid who was half a size smaller, but full of nasty and shocked me when he said something to me to make her feel bad. It took everything in me to calm the beast and not protect my kid in a way that may have gotten me arrested for endangering a child. sigh.
    LOVED your list!! #happynowlinkup

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 1:15 pm

      Glad you could relate once again and I know I just can’t believe how some kids can be so mean at such a young age. Oh and I totally recommend The Goldbergs as it is still one of my favorite shows 4+ seasons in πŸ˜‰

  9. Diane Roark says

    November 15, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    I would love to say the older I get I have gotten better with my emotions when it comes to protecting and fixing my kids problems. I have gotten better at praying but I still do stupid stuff. Glad to know I am not the only one. Blessings! Diane

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 1:16 pm

      Totally not the only one and just happy to know that at the very least we have this in common, Diane! <3

  10. Tamara says

    November 15, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Yes, yes, yes.
    Scarlet and her best friend always get bugged by these bored first graders who are probably in love with them, but terrible at showing it.
    Well one was teasing them IN FRONT OF ME. So of course.. I had to be held back…

    I need these tips.

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 2:43 pm

      I know that feeling well and seriously wish we lived closer, because we could at the very least hold each back when necessary!! πŸ˜‰

  11. Dana says

    November 15, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    Fortunately I haven’t had too many situations where I’ve had to go into protective mom mode! I do lose my cool pretty easily – not one of my better traits.

    • Janine says

      November 15, 2016 at 4:47 pm

      Dana, not proud but yes not one of my stronger or better traits either!

  12. Jack says

    November 16, 2016 at 8:42 am

    I think it happens to all of us. I watched another mother lose her mind because she thought my daughter had threatened hers.

    Made for a rough moment or two because it took a while for her to actually hear that I didn’t just brush it off and was trying to help work through the situation.

    And I’ll confess I almost lost it because I felt like all she was doing was attacking my child. That protective streak comes right out.

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 8:48 am

      Jack, you are so right it does go both ways totally in many instances. So couldn’t agree more!

  13. Nellie says

    November 16, 2016 at 9:49 am

    I love this list! I personally think that losing our cool is simply a part of the job. There is no love like a mothers love and it is SUCH a strong love that we defend everything with absolute fierceness!

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 10:20 am

      Absolutely agree 110%, Nellie!!! πŸ™‚

  14. Kenya G. Johnson says

    November 16, 2016 at 10:03 am

    I laughed at loud a cry for no reason. I’ve gotten better about that – anger prevails though until I get to the bottom of it. I’ve wanted to do a drop in so I could glare at someone’s child but I didn’t do it.

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 10:20 am

      Aw, man Kenya I totally got that glare and in the heat of the moment probably could see myself reacting that way, as well!

  15. Kristina @ Ms.Modify says

    November 16, 2016 at 11:21 am

    I’m a newlywed so I’m not a mom yet, but I love reading all I can to prepare for when I am. I seriously love this!

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 2:46 pm

      Thanks Kristina and happy to share what you will have to look forward to πŸ™‚

  16. Amanda | Growing Up Madison says

    November 16, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    I am very much the same when it comes to my kids. I’m big mama bear and no one messes with my cubs. Sometimes I do overreact and there have been a few times where I’ve apologized because I was wrong, but in the end I can look back and say it was all worth it.

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      Again totally sounds familiar to me and have found myself doing similar even if I have to apologize later still, as well.

  17. Mary says

    November 16, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    I will never forget the times where my Mom and Dad stood up to a teacher or authority figure for me. It made me feel special and important which you usually don’t feel as a child. Keeping your cool is important, but I totally understand when the β€œMomma Bear” comes out.

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 5:13 pm

      Agreed totally, Mary and really is a fine balance, which I hope I do find more than not here.

  18. Jennifer Bly says

    November 16, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    So I may be super weird here but when something major goes down with my kids, I go into this weird out-of-body, calm-, state. It’s when things are in the clear that I have a meltdown of epic proportions. It’s so opposite the way I usually am too!

    Thanks for sharing your steps to losing your mom cool. lol – I did have a bit of a chuckle.

    Wishing you a lovely evening.
    xoxo

    • Janine says

      November 16, 2016 at 7:33 pm

      Not weird and I am the opposite though usually panic even before I might have just cause as crazy as it sounds. Happy to share though and wishing you a lovely evening, as well xoxo πŸ™‚

  19. Aunt Gloria says

    November 16, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    Bless that motherly instinct to protect her young! And it never ends I believe! But, unlike the Goldberg mom, you do permit your girls to be individuals and make their own mistakes and decisions. Motherhood is a tough job! You do it well xxoo

    • Janine says

      November 17, 2016 at 7:17 am

      Agreed and thanks so much again, Aunt Gloria!! xoxo

  20. Leslie says

    November 18, 2016 at 9:56 am

    Ah, the mama bear instinct. It’s definitely there! #5 is definitely my downfall…

    • Janine says

      November 18, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      #5 is a big one here for me, too Leslie!!!

  21. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    November 18, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Yeah, momming is fun!
    #happynowlinkup

    • Janine says

      November 18, 2016 at 9:20 pm

      Totally agree!!!

  22. Kristi R Campbell says

    November 18, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    I don’t know if this is funny because it’s just funny or because you so nailed it πŸ™‚ Love the whole cry for no reason and the sending smoke signals. HA!

    • Janine says

      November 19, 2016 at 7:55 am

      Aw, thanks Kristi and I know it is funny here also, because it is true! πŸ˜‰

      • Kristi R Campbell says

        February 10, 2017 at 10:11 pm

        So so glad you linked this up! As I was reading it, I remembered loving “cry for no reason” and sure enough, that’s what I said then too!!! Here’s to mom blow-ups and crying for no reason πŸ˜‰

      • Janine says

        February 10, 2017 at 10:31 pm

        Aw, so happy I linked up and also glad we are still on the same page πŸ˜‰

  23. Christine Carter says

    November 19, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    LOLOL!! NAILED IT Janine!! Oh girl, have I BEEN THERE!

    • Janine says

      November 19, 2016 at 8:52 pm

      Thanks Chris and glad you get it, too!!

  24. Carrie Groneman says

    November 21, 2016 at 9:24 am

    You are AWESOME and have the best way of putting these topics. We ALL have our moments with our kids – it’s amazing any grow up, lol. I appreciate your advice and options of how to deal with emotions that come with family. Keep up your terrific and important work here Janine.

    • Janine says

      November 21, 2016 at 9:25 am

      Aw, thank you so much again, Carrie and coming from you this means the world to me what you said here. Hugs <3

  25. Pat B says

    February 10, 2017 at 11:17 pm

    This post took me back a lot of years, when our children were young. There were times I wanted to get more involved about somethings that were happening, but held back because the kids just needed a listening hear and didn’t want Mom to interfere. I would have a difficult time doing that if I thought there was bullying going on.

    • Janine says

      February 11, 2017 at 8:12 am

      I know and as much as I try to step back still there are times or instances that I find it hard, as well. Thanks Pat for sharing and weighing in.

  26. Hillary Savoie says

    February 12, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    I totally understand this feeling of being losing control when I feel like my daughter needs me! It is a huge part–although, perhaps, not obviously so–of my post this week. We are programed to protect our children…and it is sort of shocking to see it happening inside of us!

    • Janine says

      February 12, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      I couldn’t agree more and thank you Hillary for weighing in and sharing with me.

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