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10 Simple Steps When Moms Lose Their Cool

Filed Under: Being a mom, BLOG, parenting, parenting two kids Tagged With: , ,

Another confession here…I may have recently lost my cool when I thought my younger daughter was having an issue at school.

OK, I may also have a tendency to overreact in general. Especially if it involves my kids and their well-being.

I have lost count how many times I have indeed lost it over the years as a mom.

See I am well versed in the notion that I am my kids’ best advocate.

Since I am just that, I have found myself on more than one occasion having to go to bat for them. Subsequently, I may have erupted like similar to Mount St. Helens Volcano on a bad day.

Why?

Because the fight reaction is strong when I perceive my kids being in need of protecting.

But sometimes, I might go overboard. I may not be proud of it. But still for the sake of my kids, I would do whatever it takes to make sure that nothing harms or hurts them ever.

Here are my own mom’s 10 losing your cool steps…

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1. Sense a disturbance in the mom force field.

All could be going fine on any given day. But just like that as a mom, you will be able to sense when something isn’t right. Then it is on for this mom on a mission.

How do u react when u sense a disturbance in mom force field?

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2. Go into panic mode.

Once something is wrong, commence mom panic mode. See it is that simple, because once something is found to be amiss, panicking is just second nature.

 

3. Immediately call, email, text or send smoke signals.

After panicking has occurred, the next phase is to take action. This can be in the form of phone call(s), emails, texts or any way that you can to make contact with others who may be able to come to your aid or at the very least attempt to calm your nerves.

 

4. Have your heart in your throat.  

While fielding the first 3 steps, my heart with invariably be lodged in my throat making it that much more difficult to see clearly during the situation at hand.

 

5. Obsess, obsess, and obsess some more.

As if panicking and more from above isn’t enough, I will most likely continue to obsess over the finer details of the problem at hand. Why? Because I simply can.

 

6. Cry for no reason.

This one can get activated easily. Because as upset and annoyed as I may be, tears seem to inevitably occur, because the aforementioned lump in my throat needs to find its way out of me. 

 

7. Do whatever possible to get to the bottom of it.

Through it all though, I am indeed a mom on a mission. So, when all else may fail, I will still perservere and survive. Therefore, I will handle the problem at hand, making good for my kids.

 

8. See the error of your overreacting ways.

The situation was handled. However, I am able for a short period of time to see that I may have slightly overreacted.

 

9. Cooler mom heads prevail finally.

The mom storm is over. Therefore, I now am calm and collected for another day.

 

10. Rinse, repeat, lather…

Lets do it again soon!

 

There you have it a mom confession of mega proportions from this mom today.

Now, have a laugh from The Goldberg’s mom, Beverly, who is the ultimate mom at losing her cool for her kids’ sakes:

Moms, let me know I am not alone in the comments on losing your cool when you may think your kid may need protecting.

*Linking this up this week with Kristi of Finding Ninee and Finish the Sentence Friday, where the sentence to complete is, “When I’m upset, I…”

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Seana Turner says

    Usually when something terrible happens, I get calm. But when something happens with my kids, I’m more emotionally involved, and have a tougher time controlling my emotions. I think it helps when I stop and breathe.. especially a slow exhale. Walking outside can also help, and texting a friend who will text me back off the ledge:)

    • Janine says

      Seana, this is just it when it is about my kids I have a hard time staying cool and am more emotionally invested indeed. But agree talking to a friend does help still 🙂

  3. Jen says

    Yes mam, Mount Vesuvius has nothing on me when I think someone has messed with my kids. One of my children knowing how I react once brought me a drink of lemonade and told me I needed to sit down before they told me the story of what happened in their day. In real life emergencies I am pretty calm, but just don’t go messing with my kids. Or else…..

  5. William Holland says

    Oh, Janine, you and I would get along fine. I have no idea how many times I lost my cool while raising my son. My normal mild-manner turns ugly when my kid is threatened, plain and simple, so YOU GO, GIRL!

    • Janine says

      Thank you for sharing that with me, Bill and I already though we’d get along splendidly, but now more than ever I know we truly would from this 😉

  6. Kathy Radigan says

    I get eerily calm during all types of crisis but when it’s my kids I feel like I’m dying inside. When your baby is in trouble you really do feel as if you could hurt someone. Great post!!! And I love your new site, looks great! xo

    • Janine says

      Thank you Kathy for your kind words about my new site design and I know when it is about my kids I, too, do feel like I could hurt someone, as well. xoxo

  8. The Rambler says

    I’m raising my hands yelling Hallejuah!!!!! Haha…and every other way a mom can express understanding! I loved the video clip at the end…I need to get into that show!
    When my kid was in 1st grade, she had a little bully of a kid who was half a size smaller, but full of nasty and shocked me when he said something to me to make her feel bad. It took everything in me to calm the beast and not protect my kid in a way that may have gotten me arrested for endangering a child. sigh.
    LOVED your list!! #happynowlinkup

    • Janine says

      Glad you could relate once again and I know I just can’t believe how some kids can be so mean at such a young age. Oh and I totally recommend The Goldbergs as it is still one of my favorite shows 4+ seasons in 😉

  9. Diane Roark says

    I would love to say the older I get I have gotten better with my emotions when it comes to protecting and fixing my kids problems. I have gotten better at praying but I still do stupid stuff. Glad to know I am not the only one. Blessings! Diane

  10. Tamara says

    Yes, yes, yes.
    Scarlet and her best friend always get bugged by these bored first graders who are probably in love with them, but terrible at showing it.
    Well one was teasing them IN FRONT OF ME. So of course.. I had to be held back…

    I need these tips.

    • Janine says

      I know that feeling well and seriously wish we lived closer, because we could at the very least hold each back when necessary!! 😉

  11. Dana says

    Fortunately I haven’t had too many situations where I’ve had to go into protective mom mode! I do lose my cool pretty easily – not one of my better traits.

  12. Jack says

    I think it happens to all of us. I watched another mother lose her mind because she thought my daughter had threatened hers.

    Made for a rough moment or two because it took a while for her to actually hear that I didn’t just brush it off and was trying to help work through the situation.

    And I’ll confess I almost lost it because I felt like all she was doing was attacking my child. That protective streak comes right out.

  13. Nellie says

    I love this list! I personally think that losing our cool is simply a part of the job. There is no love like a mothers love and it is SUCH a strong love that we defend everything with absolute fierceness!

  14. Kenya G. Johnson says

    I laughed at loud a cry for no reason. I’ve gotten better about that – anger prevails though until I get to the bottom of it. I’ve wanted to do a drop in so I could glare at someone’s child but I didn’t do it.

  16. Amanda | Growing Up Madison says

    I am very much the same when it comes to my kids. I’m big mama bear and no one messes with my cubs. Sometimes I do overreact and there have been a few times where I’ve apologized because I was wrong, but in the end I can look back and say it was all worth it.

  17. Mary says

    I will never forget the times where my Mom and Dad stood up to a teacher or authority figure for me. It made me feel special and important which you usually don’t feel as a child. Keeping your cool is important, but I totally understand when the “Momma Bear” comes out.

  18. Jennifer Bly says

    So I may be super weird here but when something major goes down with my kids, I go into this weird out-of-body, calm-, state. It’s when things are in the clear that I have a meltdown of epic proportions. It’s so opposite the way I usually am too!

    Thanks for sharing your steps to losing your mom cool. lol – I did have a bit of a chuckle.

    Wishing you a lovely evening.
    xoxo

    • Janine says

      Not weird and I am the opposite though usually panic even before I might have just cause as crazy as it sounds. Happy to share though and wishing you a lovely evening, as well xoxo 🙂

  19. Aunt Gloria says

    Bless that motherly instinct to protect her young! And it never ends I believe! But, unlike the Goldberg mom, you do permit your girls to be individuals and make their own mistakes and decisions. Motherhood is a tough job! You do it well xxoo

  24. Carrie Groneman says

    You are AWESOME and have the best way of putting these topics. We ALL have our moments with our kids – it’s amazing any grow up, lol. I appreciate your advice and options of how to deal with emotions that come with family. Keep up your terrific and important work here Janine.

  25. Pat B says

    This post took me back a lot of years, when our children were young. There were times I wanted to get more involved about somethings that were happening, but held back because the kids just needed a listening hear and didn’t want Mom to interfere. I would have a difficult time doing that if I thought there was bullying going on.

    • Janine says

      I know and as much as I try to step back still there are times or instances that I find it hard, as well. Thanks Pat for sharing and weighing in.

  26. Hillary Savoie says

    I totally understand this feeling of being losing control when I feel like my daughter needs me! It is a huge part–although, perhaps, not obviously so–of my post this week. We are programed to protect our children…and it is sort of shocking to see it happening inside of us!

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