“Are you ever not on your computer or iPad? Remember me, the man you married and haven’t interfaced with nearly as much as little devices over there?” Yes, this was the question posed to me at dinner time tonight by my husband.
Yes, I am an online constantly being an blogger/writer and just when I think I don’t have another thing to write something else comes to me and like a flash I am off and writing, yet again. Or sometimes someone that I am friends with through writing messages me asking me a question and am chatting real-time on Facebook messenger.
I love my writing life truly, but I guess it could be a bit of a pain for those who live with me like my husband. He truly does put up with a lot with me constantly being connected with the outside world via the good old internet.
He even asked me that night, “Why do you say such nice things about me online, but when I am in your presence you are too busy to have a five minute conversation with me?” Because, unlike those (like Kevin) who work 9 to 5 jobs, when you leave work, you are actually leaving work behind. When you write for a living, you never really leave your work behind. If you don’t believe me, here now is a typical day for me.
I Could Be Bart Simpson on a Daily Basis…My day usually starts by 7 am, while my kids are still asleep and my husband showers for work. I get up and turn the computer back on, where I go through my e-mails, delete what is just junk mail and then deal with what isn’t. Not the most glamorous part of my day, but you get the picture. I, usually then, check for new comments on my blog, new blog posts and Hubpage articles by my friends. I try so very hard to read, share and comment on the new articles and posts, because writing online myself I know how much other writers do appreciate others reading and commenting, too.
Once that is done, I usually have two kids that are getting up and need to be fed for the day. After breakfast, then I continue to keep up online with new emails, posts, and articles as the come in. I also try to write a blog article or Hubpages article sometime during the day, whether it is in the morning while my kids play and watch a bit of Disney Jr. TV or during their nap time.
Lunchtime, I usually make lunch complete with chocolate milk for my girls. We eat and clean up by around 12:30 or 1 pm. Then, it is indeed nap time for my kids. This, of course, is if Emma doesn’t have pre-school. If she does than I have to drive her to school, before nap time can begin for Lily. And I have to pick her up by 3pm on those days.
Dinner is usually served for the girls between 4-4:30 pm, followed by bath time. Then, it is time to cook dinner for Kevin and myself, because he gets out of work and is usually home by 6 pm.
All throughout the day they, I try to keep up with my e-mails and such, which include new posts or articles by friends, new comments on my posts and anything else that may arise. I have a Apple MacBook, iPad and iPhone to keep me connected whether I am home or I am out dropping Emma off or running any errands.
So of course, this particular night, we were finally sitting down to eat and my iPad was open next to me updating and I got two messages on Facebook from writing friends and was just trying to answer them and of course I got the total guilt trip from Kevin. Did I feel bad? Hell yes.
Ask me what I did though. Well, I wrote this blog article, because it was too good of a writing opportunity to pass up. Seriously, I have issues and just can’t stop writing.
By the way late at night, those who follow me know that I have been also writing my novel for the NaNoWriMo contest if time doesn’t permit during the day, because once I opened that flood gate I couldn’t stop writing that either. I am now almost up to 14,000 words and just don’t want to ever stop, it feels so good to write and get this story told, but that is neither here nor there.
The point is maybe I need to step back once and awhile, but I am so not sure how to close the outside world out at times. I love my husband and kids, we did talk more about this later that night. In the end, Kevin does understand and is truly supportive when push comes to shove. So, he does deserve my undivided attention once in awhile and am totally going to make more of an effort to do just that. However, he just has to stop giving me such good writing material though first!! Sorry, I couldn’t resist!
Now check out this funny YouTube parody video about Internet addiction:
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midget38 says
I can identify with this too. Oh my!!! And no, you don't ever leave your work behind. You may slow things down, but you can never really 'leave it'. This should be shared for the benefit of those who don't understand and you can count on me to give you a hand with that!
JanineHuldie says
Thank you so much Michelle and do appreciate you understanding and for sharing for me too. I just can't say thank you enough to you, because I know how much you have my back and totally appreciate that 🙂 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Thank you so much Chris for sharing a bit about your own experiences, as well as your wife's, too. Trust me I do feel bad for the fact that he feels this way at times, but then again it is so hard to completely shut off, when my job is here out of the home so to speak. And like you said, he and others that work out of the home can transition when they leave their physical job location to come home. I can't really leave my workplace, since it is in the home, so I think that why it is harder to disconnect on many levels. Thanks you seriously again and Aloha to you too 🙂 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Clark and truly loved your response to those who aren't full-time writers. Truly needed that this morning. Glad also someone else could relate a bit, too 🙂 🙂
Bill says
This is something I had to insist on, for me and for Bev. I write 10 hours per day…no exceptions and everyone knows to leave me alone during that time. When five o'clock comes around, writing is done and it is Bev time. On weekends I write until 10:30 and then Bev gets the rest of the day. I need that break for my peace of mind, and Bev needs it because she deserves it.
Loved the blog, Janine; you'll figure it all out I'm sure.
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Bill and sounds like you have figured out and truly have a nice balance going. I now have to figure out a balance, but it is hard, because I have to try to use whatever free time I have, because of taking care of the kids all day. I know it is truly no excuse, but just so frustrating, if that makes sense. Thank you again though for sharing an giving me so food for thought on how to work this out.
JanineHuldie says
Seriously thank you so much Bill. You really are a wonderful person and such a great friend. I value our friendship more than you will ever know. I have to be honest, I am not sure how I get the half of the half done somedays, but that is why recently by 11 pm I am so done and can't keep my eyes open. So I guess I am just pushing myself a ton. Just got to remember to breath I suppose lol 🙂
Stacy Harris says
I think our husbands (or significant others) need a support group. I do the same exact thing. There is more times than I care to admit where I have given my husband the evil eye for interupting me midsentence. Which wouldn't be that big of a deal if I could go back and just finish typing. No – I get side tracked and I have to go back a reread the whole paragraph to get back on my train of thought. Then, if he interupts again while in the same paragraph… good grief. It might have been easier to just give him the 5 minutes! 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Thank you so much Stacy and I wish I could give you a big hug for writing this comment, because sometimes I have a tendency to do the same thing with rolling my eyes, because I just want to finish my thought and not be sidetracked either. So frustrating and just so glad to know that I am not the only one that has this issue. Thank you, thank you 🙂
Cari Lorine says
I agree with Stacy; husbands of writers probably do need a support group. I was doing exactly what you described last night. I sat on my computer until my husband and I were ready to go to bed. He kept asking, "What could you possibly be writing?" Then, "Are you still writing?" And it continued on. Poor thing! 🙂 You're right, Janine — there's no 'leaving work' when you're a writer. I have to remind myself to shut down every once in a while. Great post, as always!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Cari and seriously maybe we can make a Facebook group for the husbands and/or wives of us writers. Seriously, just wish he could completely understand my side, because I do see his side of this, but like I have said to others in my post, I probably do need to take it down a notch, but need to retrain my brain a bit!!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Amy and so true. Your story sounded oddly like something that I do, too. I am the queen of multi-tasking at this point in my life, but need to be able to slow down sometimes, just wish I could learn how to, lol!!
Emily says
Janine, I've had the same complaints from my husband, and though he's supportive of me, he sometimes wants my attention too when he's not working. I get it. So now, I really make an effort to get all my work done during the day and "unplug" for the evening or at least part of the evening…if he wants my attention, I tell him he just has to ask and I'll log off…that's my promise to him.
JanineHuldie says
Thank you too Emily for letting me know that you too have had this happen to you. I am trying believe me, but man I just seem to have trouble. Plus adding the novel writing to the mix this month, I have just seem to have more on my plate. Have to keep telling myself that it is Ok to walk away every now and again. Liked your suggestion though 🙂 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Kelly, I totally wish that was the way, because then I wouldn't feel so guilty many times. Sounds like you two have it worked out nicely though between the two of you and thank you for sharing here with me 🙂 🙂
Stephanie Sprenger says
Janine, thank you so much for writing this. You really gave a great voice to the predicament of finding balance between "screen time/writing time" and being with the family. Last night after my kids were in bed, I had my tablet out as hubby and I watched TV, and I was on Twitter, reading blogs, commenting…He said, "Are you afraid you're going to end up with carpal tunnel syndrome by tomorrow?"
Point taken. I tossed it down. I am really struggling with the guilt I feel for my dependence on the computer. I am trying so hard to do a good job with my blog, and dedicate time to participating in the community, but I feel so guilty about it. I have not found the perfect balance yet.
I LOVED this post, in case it wasn't clear! Thanks a lot for this one!
JanineHuldie says
Thank you so much Stephanie for commenting and sharing that you too are similar and haven't found a balance yet on computer/internet time. I could have written your response, because I do that quite often in the evening playing catch up to others blog and comments. Of course, I get the same kind of comments that your husband made and thus the reason for this post. Need to find a balance, but as I said just haven't quite found it yet either.