“When are you having kids?” When we first got married, we got asked this question often. We opted to enjoy married life for a bit before taking this plunge. I think we wanted to get used to it being us and even still got asked this obnoxious question. This is a question that is private and truly no one’s business, but it got asked more than once over the two years before I finally did announce my first pregnancy.
Then, I got pregnant for the second time and since it happened so quickly, I was asked by a few choice individuals if it were an accident. Yes, it is no surprise that we probably weren’t planning to have another child so quickly, but still it happened and because the baby was mine, I couldn’t help but feel once the shock wore off more than a bit excited for the possibility of a new life growing inside me. We always wanted more than one child and we were getting our wish. For two people who were constant planners, we were given an unexpected surprise, but a good one at that.
Again though more questions, that were none of anyone’s business. Then, I had issues during that pregnancy and had to hear yet again more stupid comments, such as “What would you do if the baby doesn’t make it?” Who wants to think this as much as you may need to privately, you still don’t want to or have to discuss this with just anyone.
Now flash forward to the present, I have gotten asked as Lily closed in on two years old, if we wanted or were having more especially if we wanted to have a boy since we have two girls. Seriously, who asks this question. It is pretty much like implying having two girls means somehow not having a boy means we should be unhappy or love the two beautiful kids we have any less.
Again, not that it is anyone’s business (see the trend here with this one), but not only do I love my girls and don’t feel incomplete because of this, but I am happy with our family size. Yes, I am even thankful for it, because I did almost lose a baby with Lily at 22 weeks of pregnancy having placenta previa. I don’t ever want to have to go through that again, being hospitalized taken away from my husband and kids, and/or being put on bed rest to not take care of my family. So for that one reason alone (probably the most important factor for me), I am blessed with the two angels that are mine and wouldn’t do anything to undermine this. I truly don’t think I could handle losing a baby or not being away from my family not to help take care of them.
Also, negate the fact that the economy is in the crapper and we are lucky we are not to be in more debt than student loans. I have to be honest here that we want a house in the future too and no one is going to hand that over to us on a silver platter. So both of us have to work hard at what we are doing to be able to provide that for our kids.
I guess what annoys me is the smugness of some people who get it handed to them and I know a few in my life who do, but again I have always worked hard for what I have gotten in this life and will continue, because that is just who I am.
Kevin is pretty much the same way and together this is just us. I see others like this who continue to take and take and take, only to get more. I try so hard not to compare myself to these individuals, but sometimes the reality is I am human and can’t help but make the comparison. I hate doing this, try my best not not to 9 times out of 10 and it quite annoys me to in fact do this, but again sometimes I just can’t help it.Stupid People, Not Stupid Questions!!
Another thing that is not a secret, is the fact that I also worked very hard to get back in shape a year ago and maybe this is a bit selfish, but when you put the other two together, I like where I am at. Yes it is true that I am trying to tone back up a bit after this past holiday season, but I still would rather it be a tone up that an all out struggle to get back to this point all over again.
Sorry for this slight rant here or sounding possibly a bit harsh, but this was just something weighing on me and needed to vent it a bit here today. Again, it is my site and sometimes I need to use it just for that. And by the way, this makes me realize more than ever that the old saying that my grandmother used to say quite often was so very true, “There really are no stupid questions, but only stupid people!”
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