It was 10:51 on July 17, 2009 and I will never forget the first moment Emma was laid on my chest.
I was in awe that this little person was all ours and that Kevin and I had made her together.
Nothing prepared for the emotions I felt that night. I could barely let her go to even be taken back to the the nursery to be cleaned up, weighed and prepped by the hospital nurses.
When they did bring her back to me around 1:30 am, I sat up with her for hours and just stared at her in wide wonder. She was beautiful, perfect and all mine. Sounds cliched, but I swear to you I couldn’t make this feeling up if I tried.
And it was in that moment I realized, I was a mother and somebody else relied on me for their every need and want.
It wasn’t until she was a little over 2 days old that the reality and the magnitude of how much she needed me at 11 pm on our first night home, when she screamed and wailed for about 3 hours straight, set in.
And this was just the beginning of it with her nightly fussy, colicky spells.
But I was indeed a mother and nothing would ever be the same again for better and for worse.
Flash forward to a few weeks ago, when I was asked by author and blogger, Robin Kramer if I would read and review her book simply titled, “Then I Became A Mother“.
I knew being a mother myself that I needed to read this book and from “Square One – It Get Easier” and the first sentence describing, Robin’s husband holding their first daughter, Reese, who had been screaming for over an hour that I would enjoy and fully be able to relate to this book.
See you never forget when you are a mother those first few days or days, months, years to follow. Even if the moments gets dulled by time passing, you still do remember the finer or not so finer moments.
Trust me as I was reading this, I was very much transported back to another time and place quite easily. Robin’s story, frankly, is by no means generic and all her own, yet it transcends to make all moms be able to feel connected and sympathize with so much of what she shares here.
And she is right it does certainly get easier and we do very much learn to adapt as our babies grow, because even though we lose a bit of ourselves and need to learn to redefine who we are as mothers, we are still made that much better for the presence of our children and definitely not diminished by them at all.
And even through all the chaos, we may try to compare ourselves to others and yet Robin reminds us moms that we are who are we are in spite of it all and that is exactly who we are supposed to be – just ourselves.
I actually laughed a bit out loud when I read “Square 8” all about how babies bring a whole new level of dirt and mess into our lives, especially about wearing dirty clothes and not even knowing it at first, because this totally happened to me and shared that here, when I was wearing sweatpants that clearly had poop on it and didn’t even realize for many hours until later in the same day. Even as I write this passage was almost 5 year old has the stomach virus and the scene I found as she called me crying into the bathroom was anything, but clean.
And by the way, Robin is definitely right how it all changes when the baby is indeed finally here and occupying the once catalog like nursery, which never does look quite the same as it did when we first set it up after my baby shower when I was still eight months pregnant. Trust me that room was perfect and immaculate with nothing out of its place. That same room, post baby, was anything but perfect and as a child’s room now here in the present looks quite frankly the way it must look when a toy bomb is set off!
But through the messes and all, we live and learn and as Robin says it so perfectly, we just love them. She is so right the best solicited and unsolicited (too) advice moms (myself included) ever got.
Robin Kramer is the author of Then I Became A Mother, also blogs at Robin Kramer Writes. She is a wife, a mother to three daughters, a college professor of public speaking and so much more, too.
I was extremely honored to have been asked to read and review her book and thank her for giving me this wonderful opportunity.
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