*Please note that today Bev Feldman has re-released, The Busy Mom’s Guide to Creativity, and am re-sharing my article for those who might have missed her wonderful book the first time around.
Bopping my head as I sit here typing away at my MacBook keyboard, while listening to one of my many iTunes Music playlists during a typical creative workday session. I reminded by the current tune blasting by Pharrell Williams, that I am indeed the most “Happy” doing what I do best, which just so happens to be expressing myself creatively through writing, as well as the ability to graphically design, where I put my own spin and personal touch on all that I create.
You wouldn’t know, by the way I am acting right now that I was recently faced with a tremendous amount of mom guilt for another go round with my two daughters. See I had found out that after putting my name in for class mom for both girl’s elementary school classes, that I was chosen to be class mom for my younger daughter’s kindergarten class this year out, but not my older daughter’s class.
Yet, I know from being a class mom last year for my older daughter’s class that being class mom for one class is enough work even as fun and rewarding as it may be to spend the extra time up at school interacting with my daughter Still I was actually considering being a complete glutton for punishment to take on both my girl’s classes, when I literally finally just got my days back to stretch my creative wings working from home for six plus straight hours daily for this upcoming school year. While, I know I should have given myself the permission and let go of the mom guilt I was suffering from to put my name only in for my younger daughter’s class as I had already been class mom for my older daughter’s class last year, I still struggled with this so much. My rationale here was that I would put my name down for both, because I was stuck in the middle and felt terrible choosing between my two kids. I figured I’d let the chips fall where they may with the school hopefully making the decision for me one way or the other. Thankfully, the school did make the decision and only chose me for the one class. I was more than thankful that I was let off the hook on this, but still felt all sorts of mom guilt, because my older daughter was definitely bummed that I wasn’t her class mom again this year.
It was only fair though that I could be class mom for her younger sister this year since I didn’t get to be her’s last year, but still I felt badly that I couldn’t divide myself in two. Still as moms, in general though, it is hard to very often “Let It Go” for all sorts of things with our kids. As busy as we can be and as much as we have on our plates, being a mom comes with all sorts of mom guilt. And when you are a mom that works creatively from home, there is a whole new level of mom guilt that comes into play, I have learned time and again. Yet, I am no stranger to this and still have slowly become versed over the last few years to pick my battles with my own mom guilt, as in taking time off during school holidays or even more extended time in the summer when my girls are off from school, since I am the parent that does work from home, while my husband works for a corporation. As such, my schedule is a bit more flexible than his. It is all about what works for not just me, but my family unit. And the above scheduled time off truly is what works for my family and I during the days and time off for the kids. Still, I have my weak moments as witnessed above.
However, I recently was given the opportunity to read an advance copy of one of my favorite blogger friend Bev Feldman’s, who I just so happen to meet for the first time at BlogHer ’15 this past summer, newest book, Busy Moms Guide to Creativity, where she discusses all sorts of topics for creative moms. One section, actually covered the so-real topic of “Mom Guilt” in depth and one of my favorite sayings from this part from Bev is, “The reality is as parents we have to learn to accept these time constraints and work with them” by indeed learning what you may need to let go of including certain time wasters, such as aimless Facebook school feeding or taking on more activities such as the extra class mom duties so that you can free up some much needed time for your creative outlets. See while I could have been class mom for both girl’s classes, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to find or stretch more hours in my already jam packed week to do this and would have ended up being more frazzled than words can even convey. So, Bev’s book and words couldn’t have come at a better time for me, which allowed me to take a bit more ownership of my feelings on this. While I didn’t end up having to make this most difficult decision myself this time out, I am hopeful that for the next time I will remember Bev’s sage advice and follow it.
- Quotes from real-life moms about the importance of creativity in their lives and how they make time for their interests
- Interviews with life coaches and therapists who specialize in working with moms
- 21 pages of worksheets to reflect and apply what you have learned to your personal life
- 7 art prints with inspirational quotes about creativity
Thanks Bev and I highly recommend her book for all moms, especially those who are creative by heart and nature now for all of the above, as well as her further tips and advice, too.