My oldest daughter shared this simple piece of advice about love to my husband and I…
“You need to go to Dunkin Donuts and get the coffee that has the hearts in it to get back together!”
See it would stand to reason that she might think we aren’t lovey, dovey or dripping of hearts everyday, as they may see on TV or in movies. Why? Because she didn’t know us when we did very much act this way in the early days. I mean she didn’t know us before marriage and kids. By the time we had our kids, we still loved each other. But let’s face it, we weren’t that new relationship love fog anymore.
Yet just how with most couples how the beginning truly is the most exhilarating time for most couples—we were once again no exception to the rule.
Back then, it was the little things and also the grandest of gestures, too..
For starters, we never went a day from that first date not speaking even if we didn’t see each every day. It was a simple way that we showed each other we cared.
On a grander scale to prove his love, he took me to our local Irish Store to make it official. It was there he placed an Irish Claddaugh ring on my hand. Being 100%, the Claddaugh ring was a symbol to him that we were committed to each other.
He was the real deal with a heart of gold. Plus each month anniversary that we celebrated for that first year, I either flowers delivered or Vermont Teddy Bears. On top of that, for our first Christmas together he gifted me Tiffany’s jewelry.
So what happened?
But that was then and this is now. We have now been married for better or worse for just about 11+ years!
Don’t get me wrong, my husband is still a big, softy mush at heart for those special days. But again we are married with kids. In reality, life does come in the way. But still I know we both do love each other.
Yet, my daughter’s original comment got me thinking.
So, I took to my Facebook blog fan page to ask my readers how married couples show each other they still love each other. The answers are got were truly heartwarming and even a tad humorous. Read on to see these answers here now…
5 Simple Ways to Show Your Spouse You Love Them
1. It’s the Little Things.
When you are married and living together daily, it is just truly the little things that seem to go a long way.
- For instance, Deborah of Peaches & Coconuts cited, “Washing dishes, doing (and folding) laundry or even cooking a meal for once.”
- And Shell of The Soccer Moms added, “My husband moves my phone to the nightstand when he gets up (it’s usually plugged in across the room to charge). That way, I don’t have to get out of bed when my alarm goes off. It’s a little thing, but I really appreciate it!”
- Plus, Shannon Day of Martinis and Motherhood, also furthered this point by telling me, “I scratch his back (literally) and he buys me chocolate.”
- Liza of A Musing Foodie was also in agreement to using simple, unexpected ways also, but by being a “bucket filler” or using kind actions even saying certain words that show that you do indeed care about that special someone.
Although, Deborah added jokingly that you may not want to overdo it though, as some also might not necessarily feel the love so much as feel suspicion that the other party was having an affair. So for arguments sakes, the little things should be just that and indeed small. But still done often enough that they aren’t misconstrued for something other then just for the sake of loving and caring for each other.
Again, the little things make so much difference. For us, my husband calling me midday from work just to say hi. This is a small, but effective way to let me know he is thinking of me. I also have grown to not only expect, but also deep down appreciate this from him.
2. Just Let Them Be.
Sometimes, it speaks greater volumes if you simply let the other person just have their space to enjoy a hobby or just watch a movie by themselves.
Dude Mom shared, “Everything doesn’t have to be shared to have meaning. My husband has goals and aspirations and hobbies and interests that I don’t share (or really even get), but I support his pursuit of those because they’re important to him.”
I couldn’t agree more here, as my husband wouldn’t be caught dead watching my first true love Sex And The City. Nor do I have any desire to watch movies, such as Hell Boy. So I thank god we have two TVs. This helps us give each other that alone time and space to enjoy our own TV interests—simple, but effective.
3. Take One for The Team.
On the flip side, sometimes you may instead have to get your hands dirty a bit even if it is something you necessarily don’t enjoy or wouldn’t want to do.
The Dusty Parachute, mentioned that she is “cleaning out the garage for him”.
Although, I think she meant this possibly in jest, I honestly couldn’t agree more.
Perfect example occurred on Christmas Eve. This is when I stood on line in our local bakery for his favorite pastry, Napoleon. See Christmas Eve Italian bakery lines are blocks long. Add to this a possible Nor’easter approaching. Yes, I stood on a long line in Christmas Eve rain storm. Never mind I had a ton of work still attend to as an Elf before Christmas morning was to arrive the next day.
But I did this to surprise him, put a smile on his face and also see him get to enjoy his favorite pastry.
So, sometimes you just need to take one for the team in order to show that you do care!
4. Little Love Notes.
Just like those early days, when everything truly was all hearts and roses, even now romance shouldn’t be completely dead. So, expressing your love in the written or spoken form can definitely also go a long way.
Such as Echo of The Mad Mommy told me, “I wrote, ‘I Love You’ on my husband’s banana when I packed his lunch yesterday. And sometimes I also just greet him on the phone and in person with, “Hi there, Handsome!”
Remember that Napoleon back from Christmas Eve? Well I also wrote a sweet love note on the outside of the box. When I gifted it to him, he found the sweet pastry gift with my even sweeter love note.
So keep them on their toes with these little, yet grand love notes surprises.
5. Making Time for Just Us.
Once again back in those early days, it was truly all about the two of us. Now married with children, many days go by without having time to do much for myself, let alone my husband.
Well, Kathy of My Dishwasher’s Possessed made an exceptional point by telling me, “I think about it relation to my children but not as much with my husband. I know it means a lot to Joe when I really listen to him about his day and am not doing something else and multi-tasking. Also, as much as we love being parents, making time for just us, whether it’s getting my parents to watch the kids for a date or just telling the kids that mom and dad are speaking and will be with them in 10 minutes goes a long way. Putting our marriage and ourselves on the top of our to-do list, even if just for a morning kiss or cup of coffee goes such a long way when you are a busy couple and family.”
Kathy, is one smart lady and yes I couldn’t agree with her more.
Sometimes, we try to have an adult conversation. But I can’t tell you how many times one of our conversations gets interrupted by a little princess asking for a cold juice box or a yummy, chocolate chip cookie that just couldn’t wait another minute.
See kids, in general, are hard-wired to need instant gratification (at least mine are). They don’t understand the concept of wait your turn mentality (again might only be my kids, but I am betting it isn’t – just a hunch).
So, like Kathy and her husband, we try to make time for a date night out at least once a month. Plus also, each day we check in by asking each other how our days went.