This Mom's Confessions

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9 Things I Would Pretend I Never Did for My Kids’ Sake

1990s Decade· Being a mom· BLOG· learning· Life in General· One Word Challenge· parenting

Thank you to Facebook’s recent reminder that my husband and I got married over 9 years ago with a nice anniversary collage of photos. So nice to know Zuckerberg doesn’t forget!

Facebook Anniversary Collage

But still what was truly priceless was my younger daughter’s reaction upon seeing this collage of photos that Facebook shared by stating, “Was that from your first wedding?”

Facebook Anniversary Thread

Not sure what she was getting at, but can assure the reader that I was only married once to my current husband (her father).

Still though this got me thinking to all sorts of things I don’t want either of my kids know about me from before I had them.
 
See I am most definitely guilty as charged of many misjudgments, but if I had to would most likely plead the 5th for my kids for all intents and purposes, no parent (this one included) wants her kids to know all of her past indiscretions if possible.
 
Nor does most parents want to see their kids make any and all kinds of mistakes if they can help it, but still mistakes will happen no matter how hard we try to protect our kids from making them.
 
So, here are some whoppers I am admitting here today to have indeed made in my youth to you my dear readers.  
 
But if you are my child, please stop/refrain from reading any further, as I am and will always be blameless in your eyes now and forever!
 
9 Things I Would Pretend I Never Did for My Kids' Sake
 
1. I was the once shy kid in school that would get, “Needs to participate more on her report card in elementary school,” simply because I just hated speaking up for my peers to hear me possibly give the wrong answer being more anxious often enough than good, old Jan Brady.
2.  I wasn’t always the best older sister, as my kid brother sometimes drove me crazy. I would ignore him, leave him flat if friends came calling and sometimes got him in trouble when he did something he shouldn’t have just because that is sibling rivalry at its finest.
 
3.  I spilled my fair share of drinks, snacks and made many messes that drove my parents crazy that could rival and beat any mess you have made by a mile, wishing I could have been as brazen as Urkel’s, “I didn’t do that!”.
4.  I forgot to do homework with the best of them and came up with my own equally crazy excuses that could rival Welcome Back Kotter’s Sweathog, forged, “Signed Epstein’s mom”  letters of coverup.
5.  I also passed noted to friends in school, doodled and even fell asleep while should have been paying attention to my teacher teaching what “x” should equal.  This was before the technological age of smartphones came into existence though, as I can only imagine what kind of diversions I could have come up with now.
 
6.  I cut class to go out to lunch with friends, who had a different lunch periods then I did, hated PE class enough to use Clueless’ Cher’s, “Crimson Wave” alibi to get out of it often enough and totally ditched school on senior cut day.
 
7.  Like Bill Clinton, “I didn’t inhale,” but still had a very interesting evening of pure laughter and overeating of frozen cookie dough is all I am saying.
8.  I also experimented with enough hair dye that I have had my hair be more shades of color that even Punky Brewster’s room or Rainbow Brite’s classic outfit consisted of.
 
9.  I totally drooled over and admittedly dated the bad boy, and snuck out to meet friends and exes.  Thank god this was all before GPS became the norm, because I most definitely wouldn’t have gotten away with the half of the half here. 
 
If you are my children that ignored my warnings (Why doesn’t this shock me?!) of reading further, making it to the end, then have no fear you too will learn right from wrong, because you will make your own missteps, but grow up with parents to teach, guide and love you even through the worst of blunders possible, because that is just what kids and parents do.
 
Never fear though as I love you not matter what and live your life to the fullest – mistakes and all, because as you can clearly see I made my own, too. 
 

*This post was originally written for the One Word Blog Linkup that is hosted by Lisa of The Golden Spoons and yours truly, too.

The words for this week were: Pretend or After.

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. karen says

    ummm there;s a bunch of things I REFUSE to admit to doing when I first met my husband….I will lie through my teach to AJ.

  2. Seana Turner says

    I am such a rule follower and people pleaser that I don’t have a very exciting list. Once I tried to cut a class — senior “skip” day. I was so bad at it that I went with a friend out on the school’s tennis court, where I was promptly ushered back to school. Sigh…

    • Janine says

      Seana, I was pretty innocent right up to my teen years for the most part, but definitely rebelled quite a bit once this time hit. Yet, I truly hope my kids don’t lear the half of the half by any means! 😉

  3. Bev says

    I was also told I need to participate more in class growing up! There are lots of things I did when I was younger that I would rather Eve never know about 😉

    • Janine says

      Bev, how I hated hearing that phrase and I know as I stated here definitely hope my girls never know about quite a few of these either! 😉

  4. Estelle says

    Happy anniversary! Mine was this month, too (10 years). You are so right…there is stuff about me that I don’t want my daughter to know (the wild side of her mom). Good luck keeping it from them with FB around. xo

    • Janine says

      Aw, thanks Estelle and I know I need all the luck I can with FB and social media these days. Seriously though, glad it isn’t just me and Happy Anniversary to you, too xoxo 😉

  5. Karen says

    I think I’ll just gloss over my late teens and mid-twenties with my daughter. Actually maybe I could use some stories to teach her what not to do. There was so much stuff that I should have listened to my mother about so I’m guessing she’ll just roll her eyes at me like I used to do to my mom. I just can’t imagine what it’s going to be like to be a teen for her with FB and other social media now. Happy Anniversary! My husband and I got married nine years ago too!

  6. Lauren Baker Cormier says

    I had a pretty boring child/teen-hood haha. That said though, I think sometimes it’s good to be able to admit some of those things to our kids (when they’re old enough). It might help them avoid some of our mistakes and trust us more.

  8. Tricia says

    🙂 these are great! I haven’t lied yet about my past to my littles but oh the opportunity will come I’m sure!

  9. Jessica Ullrich says

    I definitely wouldn’t lay out ALL of my past mistakes for my kiddos… Because it would take about two days and they’d get tired of listening 😉 All joking aside, though, I think it is good to keep some of our past in the past (and hidden from our kids), but share some of our mistakes too so they can learn from them. P.S. LOVED the Clueless reference. hahaha!

    • Janine says

      Jennifer, you summed it up and seriously my youngest would totally try to see what she could push the envelope with I think if given the ammunition!

  11. Diane Roark says

    Janine,

    I love that you are so open and honest about things you have done in your past. We all make mistakes and wish we could change things. Hopefully, our children will learn from our mistakes and not make the same ones. It sound like you were just acting like a teenager but you did not get in a whole lot of trouble. You turned out to be an amazing wife, mom and writer. Have I told you lately how much I love reading your posts. I hope you had a wonderful anniversary. I have a 31st anniversary coming up in two weeks. Time flies so fast. Yes, I did get married early, at age 19, and had the big one this year.
    Blessings,
    Diane Roark

    • Janine says

      Aw, Diane I can’t say thank you enough always for all the kind words and your friendship, too. Happy 31st Anniversary coming up to you, too and major hugs always!! <3 😉

  12. Bill says

    Oh my goodness, I won’t waste anyone’s time with the things I shouldn’t have done. I was a true believer in trial and error. I learned stoves were hot by touching them…and touching them again…and….

    But I’m here now, enjoying life, so how bad could I have been? 🙂 Loved your confessions.

    Happy Hump Day young lady.

    • Janine says

      Aw,t hanks Chris and I truly wasn’t a good girl for a few years, but she returned when she came to her senses still! 😉

  14. Shell says

    The goofing off in class, skipping school, not inhaling… I did all that and I have zero desire for my kids to! And I will not even get started on the things my husband did as a kid- I was the good one. 😉

    • Janine says

      Shell, sounds like we could have been good friends back in the day and like you I don’t want my kids to emulate any of this either! 😉

  15. Tamara says

    Good question! My past is so squeaky clean from a teen or college standpoint but as a youth? I definitely stole a RUBBER SHARK from my 5th grade classroom. Who does that? And no one noticed so I just returned it.
    Once I had a late library book and I went and buried it in the woods.
    Seriously. I had some issues! I also egged a tree once because my mom wouldn’t let me go and egg houses.
    Good mom.

  16. Jen says

    Hah! Your first marriage. Now that is funny!
    Nope, I was the perfect child/teen and I am sticking to that story until they are out of the house. I have even bribed grandparents to stick to that story as well 🙂 Luckily there are no social media pictures of that time to prove my story wrong.

  18. Dana says

    Your girls will love to hear some of these stories one day – even if you have to edit them a bit! I’m learning that there are some things a parent just doesn’t need to know – as long as they stay safe, ignorance can be bliss!

    • Janine says

      Dana, I think ignorance is totally bliss and will have to remember this though, as well with my girls getting older now, too 😉

  19. Brandi Dunlap Stupica says

    Unfortunately, my biggest mistake, my tramp stamp/ass antlers is permanently inked into by skin and I’m too poor to have it removed 🙁 Maybe, I’ll just tell my kids that’s what happens to you when you play with matches 😉

  20. Alison Wilkinson says

    I think be kind. I have a memory of being in 8th grade, that awful time. It was after school and the school was pretty much empty. I was walking down the hall and an “unpopular” girl said hi and I just ignored her. There wasn’t even anyone around to see. Afterwards I felt so guilty – I think that was a turning point for me. I always made a point to say hi to her after that – to the extent that she must have thought I was a little strange!

  22. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    Ha! I was pretty much a goody-two-shoes when I was younger, but I have a few skeletons I would prefer not to share with my girls. You know, I do have a friend who was married & divorced (no kids), then go remarried & now has 3 kids – her kids have no idea she was ever married before their dad! 🙂

    • Janine says

      Lisa, I was only married this one time, but I couldn’t help, but smile at Lily’s question, because hey you just never know! 😉

  25. Katherines Corner says

    First, Happy belated anniversary I wish you continued bliss
    Second, you make me smile with your admissions here today.
    Third, hold onto your hat…I stayed out until 1:00 am after prom ( curfew was 10:30) I paid a hefty price for it. But boy was it worth it! Shhh don’t tell my grandchildren.
    xo

    • Janine says

      Aw, thank you so much Katie and you just made me smile too with your admission here. But I promise not to share with your grandkids either xoxoxo 😉

  26. Meredith Hale says

    I’m so glad I grew up in the days before social media, where every dumb thing you do is preserved forever. So I can pretend I did nothing, because hey, it’s not on Facebook or Twitter!

  27. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    I have spilled my fair share of drinks before, too. It happens….

  28. Kim says

    I have teenagers and all the crazy stuff they tell me…and show me via social media….about their peers is enough to make your hair stand on end! It’s crazy, so I am sure that nothing I did will shock them. I look like Snow White (which was actually my nickname in high school) compared to these kids. 😉

    • Janine says

      Oh god Kim, so not giving me hope for when my own girls are finally teens here, but still your nickname totally made me smile 😉

  29. Jhanis says

    I will never admit to my kids that I dated a bad boy and hung out with the “rebels” back in high school! Not until they are 50 years old anyway! Hahaha!

  30. Michelle Grundy says

    I overdid the P.E excuse, my teacher told me one week I needed to see a gynaecologist because I’d been menstruating for three weeks out of the last four. The next week I had a migraine

  31. Aunt Gloria says

    Love this post Janine. And I agree….no need to fully disclose! I’m sure the girls will enjoy reading this one day.
    Like you, I would do anything to get out of gym/phys ed. My solution was to get into the modern dance class…..that was more fun for me. Swimming? Definitely out with a doctor’s note! Love you…..

  33. Alayna @AlaynasCreations says

    Ahaha – great list! I wonder what would be on my list if I made one. I think it’s the husband that has more to “hide” from the kids than I do 😉 I know I’ve told him multiple times hed’ better not share that story about trying to jump off the roof using a garbage bag for a parachute!

    I am co-hosting the #HomeMattersParty this month and would love to have you stop by. The new party opens at midnight tonight!
    http://www.alaynascreations.co

    • Janine says

      I am so picturing that and seriously can only just imagine. But still thanks for sharing and will try to join in – so thanks also for the invite, too 🙂

  34. Astrid says

    I am not a parent, so I can’t imagine what it is like having to lie about these issues to my own kids. However, I can totally relate to most of yours. Re your “not inhaling” example, I smoked pot once. It is legal here, but wasn’t at the age I smoked it at (16). I actually didn’t inhale really at all, since, never having smoked a cigarette before, I was too busy coughing my insides out. It has absolutely no effect on me.

  36. Mary Hill says

    I wish I could pretend my husband now was my one and only. I wish I had not made mistakes and rushed things. I pray my daughter waits on God and doesn’t rush things for the sake of having someone.

  38. Sinea says

    Wow, Janine….you and I could be TWINS! I’m tellin’ ya, all 9 could be ME! I have a few other whoppers I could add to it but that was all B.C. and we’ll leave it that way. ♥

  39. Ginny Marie says

    This is the best! My 10 year old was just asking me about the boyfriend I had right before “Daddy,” and I had to avoid answering that question the best that I could! I seriously didn’t want to tell her about that boyfriend since I’m trying to forget him myself!

    • Janine says

      Kristi, I am still reeling over getting to meet you finally, too and love that we have this in common, as well <3

  41. Nellie says

    OMG I am so guilt of the doesn’t participa enough and I bet if those teachers saw me now they would think I participated TOO much! Lol happy anniversary!!!

  42. Camille says

    So many things I don’t want my kids to know about my past too!! I hate it when Kay asks me if I ever did such and such as a child. “Did you ever misbehave as a kid?” is one of my least favorites because I was a bit of a brat. And let’s not get into the teen years, lol!

  43. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says

    Ha! I loved this! I could tell from all your references that we grew up watching the same TV shows. lol

    I was previously married. I had no kids in that marriage but I’ve often wondered if and when I would tell my kids about it. Eventually they’re going to wonder why I’ve had 3 last names instead of 2 right?!

    Cutting classes! OMG – I did that. I also dropped out of highschool for half a year! I was such a brat from the age of 14-17. I really hope my kids are better than me!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.
    xoxo

    • Janine says

      Aw, Jennifer loved that we had so much of this in common and yes I was such a brat back in my teen years, too!! Wishing you a wonderful weekend now, too xoxo 🙂

  44. Stacey Gannett says

    Hahaha…Guilty as charged, here, and then some! 😉 I dated the bad boy, drank more than I should have, and for me it was a bag of Funyons (that’s all I’m saying)! 😉 But my kids know about it all! Every gory detail…and their dear fathers put me to shame! LOL!
    But most of that decision came from my own mom not telling me anything, and it left me feeling kind of lost in my early adult years, so I wanted them to have all of the knowledge that I have learned. And I think they needed to know that nobody’s perfect, not even their dad and I. LOL! Have a great weekend, Janine!

  45. Rea says

    KIDS do ask questions like grown ups huh? LOL. I guess no parents are ever free of mistakes! The good thing is we learn from those mistakes. They also make a really funny throwback story! 😀

  46. Rea says

    KIDS do ask questions like grown ups huh? LOL. I guess no parents are ever free of mistakes! The good thing is we learn from those mistakes. They also make a really funny throwback story! 😀 Happy 9 years to you and your husband! Keep the fire burning 🙂

  47. Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life says

    Oh Janine, this is too funny! I did a number of things I wouldn’t want the kids to know about. My husband on the other hand did A LOT of things we wouldn’t want the kids to know. Of course they do know about some of them. Thankfully, they have all been a lot less crazy in high school than my husband was! 🙂

  48. Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood says

    This is too too funny. Facebook is always reminding me of the things I hope my kids never know of (for both our sakes) including when freshman yeah 5 girls and I dressed up like Playboy bunnies, complete with a frat boy Hugh Hefner..

  49. Leslie says

    Oh goodness, we all have skeletons in our closet, don’t we? All-in-all these at least don’t sound too bad. (Or maybe I was just REALLY bad as a teenager) At least these days, there are ways for kids to do things like color their hair that wash right out!

  50. Anna says

    Great list! #1 was me completely! I’m sure it was like pulling teeth to get me to speak up in class. 😉

    Thanks for linking up with us for The Friday Finds and Favorites blog hop! I hope you will join us again this Friday! <3

  51. Jack says

    There will be no recounting of trying to outrun trains, jumping off of buildings or sneaking into and out of places I wasn’t supposed to be. Nope and should I hear a noise in my kid’s room belive me I know to check under the covers, bed and closet.

  52. Alexa says

    Yes to the chasing after teh bad boy! Oh I hope my girls have better dating sense than me!

  54. The Pinterested Parent says

    I have a lot of stories that I would rather my daughter didn’t know as well. I was a raucous party girl before having my daughter. I am not sure if it is better to hide or share your not so proud moments. I certainly hope my girl does not do most of what I have.

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