This Mom's Confessions

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A Case of The Silly Gilly Gumbo Jealousy

Filed Under: Married Life Tagged With: , , ,

“I met the new girl today at work,” Kevin stated very calmly and like it was no big deal.

“What was she like?”, I answered pretty innocently.

“Well, she is pretty, young and we were just talking for a bit getting to know one another better,” he answered without even blinking.

Such an innocent conversation and comment from Kevin who truly was oblivious to what he just threw out there, but of course my 35 year old PMSing self started to picture this girl and couldn’t help, but feel like what does she have that I don’t.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse–Mickey and Gang Talk of The Silly Gilly Gumbos!!

Don’t get me wrong, I know Kevin loves me and would never cheat on me, but of course for about 30 seconds I had a case of “The Silly Gilly Gumbo (I watch way too much Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!) Jealousy.”

Then, of course, came the rest of Kevin’s dinner where we sat chatting and every once in awhile he would say something like, “Oh that outfit you are wearing (yes my yoga pants and sweatshirt with sports bra underneath) is truly one to make me want to just have a go with you right now,” which is his usual teasing sarcastic self, but of course I was already feeling a bit self conscious.

Because of this I replied, “Why not go find Ms. Young Pretty Thing at work? I am sure she dresses to the nine’s.”

Of course, this banter went on for a few more minutes. By the end, as much as I had been just slightly green with a bit of envy remembering working in an office when I was younger way before having had my kids, when I was able to dress and look like something other than a mom. Don’t get me wrong when I go out, I do still clean up nicely, but I am a twenty something young kid anymore and cannot compete with that.

However, I then remembered how back then as well dressed and put together as I was, I was a bit envious of those married folk, who had their life all figured out with marriage and kids. It is strange how the grass seems to somehow look greener on the other side of the coin.

Again don’t misunderstand me, I love my life I really do, but sometimes at times like this I can’t help, but take a walk down memory lane and as I said as bad as it was in my youth with jobs that didn’t pay well, friends who could backstab easily and dates who were more self absorbed that you could ever imagine, I tend to remember that time with rose colored glasses and need a swift kick in the ass to remember the reality of it all and how much Kevin does love me.

Sarcastic Love at Its Very Best!!

But in case I ever doubted my husband’s love for me or the staying power of our marriage, Kevin summed it up perfectly at the end of our dinner conversation, when he said, “Listen I am not going anywhere and love you. And by the way, I can’t afford to divorce you. Half of nothing is still nothing!”

Got to love his honesty and seriously he is charming, isn’t he!! And he is all mine!! By the way, I feel very lucky that I can be my comfortable self with him in our daily life and still love getting dressed up a bit when we do go out somewhere, which sadly isn’t as often as it once was with two kids, but still when we do I try to dress more like the girl he fell for and less like the everyday frump.

And it is conversations like this one and the ending that make me remember that we compliment each other nicely with the little and the big ideas that make a marriage work. We tend to joke a lot, but we are also so very real with each and still can love each other afterwards. We know how to communicate even through our sarcasm and accept each other just as is, which I think is an important aspect to have in a marriage.

I have again linked up this week to the Happy Wives Club and to join click on the link below:

Why I Love My Husband

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Meredith says

    Ha! I love the way you guys do marriage. I would completely have a case of Silly Gilly Gumbo Jealousy over this too–and I love that you know that phrase!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Meredith and it is funny the first time my kids said this one I wasn't exactly sure where they heard it from. Don't get me wrong I watch TV with them, but sometimes I am doing other things at the same time, but I asked them and they told me Mickey. Well, we had on an episode a few weeks ago on DVR and lo and behold I heard Daisy utter this phrase and it was like the light bulb went on, lol!! Glad to see we are not the only Mickey Mouse obsessed house and also that you enjoyed a bit of my marriage humor here 🙂

  2. Janine Huldie says

    So true Melissa about how well we do understand each other and in the end that is no match for some 20 something pretty young girl at his office. I have to say I love being able to write though and it always has a way of getting my thoughts out here and make me see things so much clearer!! Thanks again and good to know you could relate 🙂

  3. The Dose of Reality says

    This was such a good, real, honest post. I feel like I tend to view the past with rose-colored glasses as well! And don't you love when a hubby says something that is just so funny…I can totally hear my hubby saying exactly Kevin said! 😉

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh thank you for your compliments and the tweet, too!! I know I think we all are capable of looking and musing at the past sometimes thinking it was so much better than it may have been. Also, happy to hear that your hubby is similar to my own 🙂

  4. Cyndi says

    It's funny that whole grass is greener thing…what IS it about that? LOL…You deserve the Mom of the Year award, though because you blog, write, juggle kids, family, being a wife…whew! You're amazing!

    • Janine Huldie says

      So not sure Cyndi, but so true how we all do it from time to time. Thank you seriously for all you kind words about me, I just do what I have to I suppose and you know I am truly happy right now. I found myself yesterday smiling after writing and editing my book for a bit. I love writing and truly feel so overjoyed from it and also from getting to know you and some many wonderful people on here. Thanks so much Cyndi!! 🙂

  5. Angel Shrout says

    I think we all have these feelings. I have my hands full with my kids and now my grandson. So getting to do something nice together where I get to dress up is difficult for me because I feel so frumpy and stuffy. Gene is a great husband and focuses all eyes on me.. but I get the jealousy too. Like maybe if I had more adult conversation I would be more interesting or whatever.. glad he made you feel better and ya'll could laugh at it.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Angel for making me feel like I am not alone in these types of feeling from time to time. And sounds like you have a wonderful husband, too!! 🙂

  6. Bill says

    In all honesty and seriousness, be very happy that he comes home and tells you about women he met. That is a hugely good sign of his love for you. 🙂

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh thanks for saying that Bill and believe me I do know he loves me, but I guess I am human and sometimes just have my insecure moments just like the rest. But deep down I do know and trust he loves 🙂

  8. Emily Cappo says

    I can see how you might feel like "the frump" at home while Kevin goes to work with other working people who happen to be both men and women…but, you've got to know that Kevin is probably grateful you can be home with your girls. I know I'd be jealous too if my husband came home talking about some new young girl at work. My husband is a one-man company right now so I don't have to fret about co-workers right now…

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Emily and all valid points. Believe me I do totally trust in my husband and our marriage, but you are right I do have those moments being that I am home all day, but I do love having this time with my kids on the other hand. So for me, it was just seriously having one of those moments, but push comes to shove I know how lucky I am 🙂

  9. Carol Shirvinsky says

    I'm wearing my yoga pants right now! Sometimes, ok, once, last week, I put on jeans and nice shoes right before my hubby came home, so he could see me in "real clothes"??!
    But seriously, yoga pants can look good, too!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh Carol, I love my yoga pant don't get me wrong, but I know I used dress up so much more when I worked out of the home and before I had my kids, but the reality is I am at home and it is winter right now so the only place I do have to go is to drop off and pick up my daughter from pre-school or run an errand or two, so yoga pants truly are so much more comfortable and functional, as well as can look good if you dress them up a bit 🙂

  10. Janine Huldie says

    Lol, Richard and that would work if he didn't do our grocery shopping!! And believe it or not our kids have been sleeping in their own room for awhile 🙂 🙂 Thanks!!!

  11. Janine Huldie says

    Omg, that was too funny and thank you for the laugh today. I was so picturing a 3 year old like my Emma saying that and could totally. So seriously thank you for that Kelly!! 🙂

  12. Dani Ryan says

    I love when you write these posts. As you know, I'm very sarcastic, but I love it when people make me stop and think of these things every once in a while.

    I find myself remembering the good 'ole days when I worked a block from my husband downtown and we would meet up for coffee or lunch or dinner and drinks after work, and we'd both be sporting business suits. But like you, I remember looking at married, older couples and feeling envious that they didn't have to worry about keeping up with the Jones' (or is it "Jonese"?).

    It's nice to dress up and feel beautiful once in a while, but I know in my heart that what we have going on here is much more special.

    Sounds like we both have a pretty good gig going on. 😉

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Dani and I can honestly say that I feel like you are truly lucky and I love that we have this and so much more in common, too. That said thank you for sharing and letting me know it isn't only me sometimes. But so very much agree that we have something very special truly 🙂 🙂

  13. Katie humor says

    Come on Janine! Let's go punch her in the face! 🙂 I can totally relate to this post but any time my husband meets a new girl at work, strangely they are all described to me as middle aged, over weight with 2 inch thick bifocals. Hmmm?
    Katie~

  14. Kelly Blackwell says

    My husband works in a car dealership. More men than anything else except the shoppers, and he's not in sales. I guess at least on that end I am good. But I had an ex boyfriend who was a cheat, and for a long time I had residual issues from that. I think it is awesome that you both can talk about it and you can remember how you looked at it all back when you were that young cutie (ps you are still a young cutie). I'm dropping by from the Linking with the Laides blog hop and following via bloglovin http://heresmytakeonit.blogspot.com/

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh thanks so much for saying that Kelly and am heading over to your site in a few. That said I too was cheated on with an ex in my youth and back then my trust level was very low. Nowadays I am truly thankful that my husband is my husband, because he is truly trustworthy 🙂

  15. clarkfarley says

    …and you can't help but wonder, 'when did I begin to be this, instead of that?'
    I think it is safe on both sides of the gender fence, most of the time we live our lives and changes (when they come) are hopefully gradual and incremental, but then you get a view back to a 'before time'.
    It do get your attention, no?
    I'm weird enough to think that 'moments of perspective' are to be valued highly. (Note: I did not say, 'enjoyed' lol valued for what we get in the way of a new/old appreciation for what we have chosen in life.)
    Enjoyed the Post.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh thanks Clark and have truly missed your perspective around these parts. Hope all is well on your end and very true about it being on both sides of the gender fence I suppose!! 🙂

  17. Ruchira says

    Aww…men sure know how to say the sweetest thing ever.

    Yup, staying at home with PJ's does have its low self esteem but, at least the guy comes home to a more calmer person than a person who has just stepped in with the spouse and a kid from day care.

    Your blog today was so appropriate to my blog's title 🙂 Tolerance 😉

  18. Janine Huldie says

    Thanks Amy and believe me if I thought he was for one minute serious, I so wouldn't have been laughing and he would have been feeling a world of pain courtesy of me! That said, i am with you and I truly do love my yoga pants, lol 🙂

  19. Kelly Blackwell says

    Me too! We are blessed. My husband totally understood my baggage and let me show it all to him. It is so much easier when we can just let it out. Thanks for stopping by!

  20. Roshni Aamom says

    Such a cute post, Janine!! My husband is like, no way I can live without the boys, so nope, can't divorce you for any reason!! 😀

  21. Fawn Weaver says

    You're so cute, Janine, and I loved you, "Don't get me wrong" a hundred times (LOL). I think we understood perfectly. And I love reading about the private convos between you and your hubby (I get to be a fly on the wall :)).

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks so much as always Fawn for the Thursday Linkup and love being able to share a bit of our life on your page blog hop. I will be honest, Thursday have now pretty much become a dedicated day for Kevin on this page, because of it and makes me feel good, because at the very least I think he is worthy of at least one weekly day on my blog 🙂

  23. Anne Kimball says

    This is great, Janine. Don't we all feel like that sometimes?
    Thanks for linking up with the TALU!
    PS: I'm voting every day for you, on CoM and TMB!

  24. kenyagjohnson says

    Love it! My husband and I are home all day together. I was watching a program about appearances and decided that I would get dressed for real everyday. Not all like I was going to work or church but at least look nice. Apply lip gloss all day, real clothes, hair pretty – shoes. I lasted about a week. I had my sillies, about why he had to go to the bank everyday and why all the girls know his account number as soon as he walks in the door and why he has to chit chat so long, and come home with a pocket full of dum dums. 😉

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh Kenya sounds like we could shake hands on this and will say it does sound silly once you write it down,when you are going through it for some reason your brain perceives it as perfectly normal!!

  26. Stephanie Sprenger says

    Glad you linked this up with TALU, since I somehow missed it last week! Also, I think this is so normal. How are we supposed to feel attractive after a long day of mommy-ing, when we are covered in three different breakfast foods, haven't showered, and are dressed for comfort? I think it's important for our husbands to make an effort to remind us that we are beautiful, even now.

    • Janine Huldie says

      So agree with Stephanie and seriously thank you for letting me know it isn't just me, because I used to be such a great dresser and now not so much, but I truly just don't have the energy somedays. And you are right, we need to be reminded at times that we are still beautiful and attractive, too!!

  27. Chris HyeThymeCafe says

    I give up – last attempt – keep trying to post and getting booted. No re-typing it all again, but wanted you to at least know I was here … [#TALU]

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh I am so sorry Chris. My e-mails alerts that someone aren't coming in or are coming in late today, too. So, I think it is an issue with DISQUS today. Thank you so very much for reading and commenting, too!

  28. christine says

    We have all been here. I went through it really hard when my husband was in law school. While I was subbing and decorating cakes at a grocery store 7 days a week, he was in class all day with attractive women who lived the same life as him. The first year was so hard. My jealousies kicked in to their fullest. In my heart I knew he would never cheat on me, but almost every man in my family has had an affair, so I always had that doubt. Fortunately, now that we've been married 18 years, I am in no way, shape, or form the least bit concerned that he would do anything.
    Good perspective you have. And a good husband you have who sees what's going on and takes the time to reassure you.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh thanks so much Christine for sharing and again I am really just happy to know that my feelings aren't completely crazy and that I am not alone with sometimes having feelings like this. Like I said, I do trust my husband, but can't help but have my insecurities every once in awhile.

  29. Jeannine Everett says

    Everyone has raised the critical point, which is, it's easy to get insecure about the world outside our doorways, especially when we're feeling that what is on our side is pretty chaotic. The truth is, work generally sucks, and most people don't like it, and they are glad to get home. I just found it hard to see my husband so engaged with what goes on there, but not so much about how much Play-Doh I picked out of the carpet.

    It's also really easy to stop investing in ourselves because we think it's a waste of time–why bother? When we do, it becomes easy to project those feelings onto other people. So, a reminder–Self-care is not selfish, as long as you're doing it because it makes you feel valued, not for someone else. As L'Oreal says, you are worth it. I say it too.

  30. bolton carley says

    my hubs and i have a similar relationship. it's nice when they reassure you at the end of the day, but i'm sure he likes that you get a little jealous. shows there's still love there! and i remember being that 20-something that was jealous. and i am quite happy to be a smug married these days! 🙂 TALU 🙂

    • Janine Huldie says

      For the most part, I am with you on liking being a smug married instead of the alternative. As for love, I do still very much love my husband with all my heart 🙂 Thanks Bolton!!

  31. Debbie says

    So true. I have learned that the grass is never really greener on the other side. It's just different at first, but when it comes down to it, it's still just grass.

  32. Kat Biggie says

    I am lucky that my husband works at a place where it's very unlikely there will be anyone for me to get jealous about!!! But he is going to the gym a lot lately! 🙂 It's funny how even in our mid 30s we are still so insecure!

  34. Michelle Liew says

    And we should love each other as we are…as husbands and wives! Sharing, J9.
    My recent post To all the food I’ve loved before…and still love!

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