Lost and frazzled, that is how I felt today. It is the day after Christmas and although everything is returning back to normal, I certainly still feel a bit out of sorts. I am calling it the “Christmas Is Over Blues!” Kevin even went back to work today after having been home for six days.
On the first night, he joked that six days was a long time and which one of us would try to kill the other first!! Seriously, we do very much love each other, but six days in the same house getting ready for the holidays could drive anyone a bit mad. We had our moments, but overall we got through it together. So, when he left this morning, I definitely was feeling as though I was missing something. Don’t get me wrong, I know he needs to work for a living, but after six days I got used to seeing his mug around here and even kind of liked it!!
And even through the last minute shopping on Emma’s last dance of class, the girls last Saturday dance class for the holidays, more shopping mall excursions on December 23rd and even a run to the Dollar Tree and Pet Store on Christmas Eve, we surprisingly accomplished the last minute tasks with very little discord. Poor Kevin, who plans everything out is married to me, who definitely can procrastinate and flies more by the seat of my pants. During this time of the year and when you have kids, not such a great trait I suppose.
In my hay day, I loved and actually thrived on shopping on Christmas Eve, because it truly brought the spirit out in me more. I will admit as I am getting older it is not quite as much fun and losing its appeal, but still I did feel a rush of adrenaline shopping on both December 23rd and even December 24th. I also love the last few days leading up to Christmas, because the excitement in the air is truly palatable.
That said even putting the finishing touches on Barbie’s Dreamhouse with the stickers (after the initial deciphering the mulit-lingual directions–ok I said a few choice four letter words to these directions, which made Kevin practically keel over from the fits of laughter) and setting up the gifts under the twinkling lit up tree was so magical to me.
The kids’ excitement on Christmas morning was truly the best. They had the gifts unwrapped and opened in record time. The day itself was pretty near perfect and one I won’t soon be forgetting.
And now it is all over. Another Christmas has come and gone. I kind of feel like someone let the air of a balloon metaphorically speaking. I have never been one to love or relish in endings, like a vacation coming to an end or a school year ending (Yes, I know I am a bit weird on this one). Even as a kid, I would cry when we would have to return from vacationing with family. So here I am at 35 years old looking at the Christmas Tree today with all the unwrapped gifts under it and the toys being played with that the girls had strewn all over and all I wanted to do was bawl. It was so very chaotic, yet bittersweet and sad to me for some reason.
The girls had a great Christmas and as I said previously here, it was the first real Christmas that they actually seemed to get the concept of the actual holiday. But just like everything else, I am left feeling sad that just as this Christmas flew by, so will the years and before I know it my kids will be teenagers and then all grown up. I wish I could stop or even slow down time just for a little bit.
I know I complain at times about the tantrums, screaming, crying and whining, but when I look at their little faces and hear them tell me how much they love me, I truly feel so overwhelmed with emotions. Today, at nap time, both my girls asked for a hugs and kisses and Emma even asked me to spend a few minutes just holding her hand. I felt her tiny, warm little hand in mine and felt the tears well up ever so slightly. I love them so very much and can’t imagine them all grown and yet I know it is inevitable someday.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so very happy that this was an absolutely wonderful and magical Christmas, but reality is slowly settling back in and even this morning Kevin and I had the inevitable conversation, when he asked about taking the Christmas tree down. We decided to take it down on New Year’s Day to give the girls a few more days with the tree and all the decorations, but now I just feel like we are on borrowed time.
I know Christmas can’t be everyday, but I would truly like to hold onto the spirit for a bit longer and here is to hoping that my kids will stay little for a bit longer or until the next temper tantrum, which ever comes first!! Ok, sorry but after being a bit of a downer here (I am bit hormonal and unfortunately it is that time of the month, too!), I needed to crack a joke. Better to laugh then cry after all is said and done. And by the way, as I am finishing this post up, Kevin just asked Emma if she wanted the Easter Bunny to bring her a bike. Apparently, as I am trying to slow down time, they are skipping a few months and holidays around here, too!!
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Kera says
Haha I totally agree with everything you said in this post! The hubs went back to work yesterday and I actually liked having him home with us 🙂 And we did some Christmas shopping on the 22nd too…I always feel more accomplished and in the spirit when I shop either right before Christmas or right after. So we're going to the outlets next week when the hubs is off after New Years.
But I always feel sad after Christmas is over too…it's like you plan for it an entire month or more in advance and then it's just done. At least we still have New Year's…so I like to think Christmas lasts through January 1. Not taking any decorations down or putting the toys away until after that date! And it just snowed here, so it makes it even better.
JanineHuldie says
Kera, I am with you on not taking the decorations yet either. I am feeling down enough without having to take it all down and put it away, too. Thanks for letting me know I am not the only feeling this way. I am trying to deal, but all we got was rain, no snow and it was so windy here last night was just praying not to lose power here again. After Hurricane Sandy, so tapped out on that one!!
Meredith says
I hate it when my husband has to go back to work! And the post-holiday let-down stinks! I can relate to how Lily looks in that picture (what a sweetie, BTW!). Ugh. If Christmas has to be over, it will be nice when things can return to normal and don't feel so weird and empty 🙁
JanineHuldie says
Oh same here Meredith. As much Kevin and I love each other, just like I said we have our moments, but the house kind of felt empty without him here yesterday and he wasn't in a good mood when he returned home from work, because most people didn't have to work so he was understandably he wasn't a happy camper. I am with you on that empty feeling though and kind of just feels so weird!
JanineHuldie says
Julie, I knew you did after reading your post yesterday and was feeling so many of the same feelings that last night when I sat down to write for a few quiet moments this is what came tumbling out. My mood took over and couldn't help itself!!
JanineHuldie says
Your cocoon sounds nice and wish we could have a bit of that over here, but as for the tree I am firm and leaving it up until January 1st. I refuse to be that person again. Last year, Lily was taking everything off all month long that I had to take it down right after Christmas and refuse to have to do that again if I don't have to!!
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Clark and you are so right that it does be universal to some degree and just glad to know I am normal and not some deranged looney tune, lol!!
Bill says
Well, I think that is perfectly natural. I know for a fact that I wish we could hold onto the spirit of Christmas a bit longer. Oh well, only 363 days to go. 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Bill and so true about only 363 more days. Man that sounds like a lot of days when written and spoken, too lol!! At least I am in good company 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Oh man Richard that was truly the best. We could even watch Groundhog's Day with Bill Murray to prepare, lol!! Seriously, thanks for the giggle here and you are truly the best!!!
Dani Ryan says
Ah, this was such a nice post. I am the same as you – when things come to an end, I get all tearful. The Hubs is actually not going back to work until Jan 2 and, even though he's been sick the whole time he's been off, I will be really sad when it's all over and he goes back to work. I think it's that horrible feeling that it'll be AGES before it happens again. I used to feel like that when I worked and we came back from a vacation. I always felt so let down it was over. But, experience shows that after a day or 2, you get back into a routine and get over it…
The good news is – we still have NYE to look forward to, which means another mini-holiday. 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Thanks Dani and happy to hear your hubs is off until Jan 2nd. And we do have NYE to look forward to even if it will be spent watching Ted on DVD and hope to make to midnight without falling asleep, lol!! Man, some days I feel too old!!!
cyndi says
I think what's also so hard is that we spend so much time preparing for the big day and POOF it's over in a second – at least it feels that way. But, wonderful post as always. 🙂
JanineHuldie says
Oh thanks for saying that Cyndi and I agree it happens in the blink of an eye and just as quickly it is over!!
gigigirl says
So well said, Janine. Time does slip by and so all the memories are very important to keep. Glad you had a good Christmas after all the planning and preparation was done. And now on to a happy, joyful New Year. Love you…..
JanineHuldie says
You know it Aunt Gloria and before you know it will be spring and you will be on your way back to NY. Seriously the time just keeps flying and marching on. But definitely hear is to a wonderful New Year for all of us and love you too!!!
JanineHuldie says
Oh thanks so much Michelle for saying that. I really am trying to hold onto it for as long as I can now. Still have a few more days until New Years so not packing everything up just yet!!
JanineHuldie says
Oh thanks Melanie and couldn't resist including. I literally was finishing typing this and that was the exact conversation I overheard. Too funny and cute, too!!
JanineHuldie says
Lol, Kelly. The weather sounded wonderful and would love 84 degrees. It is chilly and expecting snow tomorrow. As much as I love Christmas and this time of the year, the weather is the one thing I could do without, because I am a summer and warm weather person all the way. Glad you guys had a wonderful vacation and Merry belated Christmas to you now that you are back!!
Christy says
Your girls are just precious Janine. As are you dear friend, as are you!
JanineHuldie says
Oh thanks so very much Christy and feel very much the same way about you, too!!!
lenetta says
Hi I found you through the I love my Post.. Please stop by and say hi when you get a minute.. Happy New Year. 🙂