Raising two young girls isn’t easy by any means in this day and age.
Plenty of days I am left utterly confused by something they say or do.
But even more so, I am still left confused by how some basic things about raising kids have changed since I was a kid myself.
Yet, don’t mistake my confusion as someone who hasn’t fallen victim of doing so much of what does essentially confuse me.
In a matter of four short months, my oldest will be 6 years old.
For months now, she has talked non-stop about where she will have her next birthday party.
The latest was a princess party and apparently I had promised it as she reported to her father this past weekend.
I am guilty as charged and did tell her that we would discuss where her next party would be held for her upcoming birthday.
I am also more than at fault of being the parent to spend an exorbitant amount of money on birthday parties for both of my girls.
This past November, we partied it up for her 4th birthday!
Last November, my 4 year old had a gymnastics party that cost us over $700 for not even two hours of celebrating!
So the precedent and bar was set high, no argument there. And yet it was even before that birthday with our previous parties we threw for both the girls, as well.
Gymnastics Birthday Party Just Another Example…
But I am not the only one as my girls have gone to their fair share of birthday parties for friends and classmates over the last few years, including bounce parties, movie parties, crafts and so much more.
I am not trying to put down any other parent for their decision on this, as we have been, as shared, known to do the same for our kids’ parties, too.
See I was the mother that had to make sure both my girls had only the best for their 1st birthday parties. Mind you neither girl remembers anything from these massive celebrations nor should they as they were only babies themselves. Yet, I fell right in line with what society dictates for making sure that a 1 year old baby, who barely was talking should apparently be afforded.
Not sure she even remembers her first birthday!
But still most recently, I couldn’t help with my 6 year old daughter’s statement of entitlement begin to question and wonder why young kid’s are treated annually to these over the top and extravagant celebrations for the day that their moms (myself included) pushed them out of their loins into this world.
If anything, shouldn’t I get a little cake for the fact that I kept them safe for the nine months leading up to that day, as well as squeezed them out of my private parts on that day.
Hell, it doesn’t even have to be a large cake, small slice or one cupcake would suffice!
But again the latest trend makes me feel like the competition for this seems to grow just a bit more each year. Add to the fact that my kids are growing, setting their expectations for birthday parties loftier and grander than the last and more than a bit confused as to how I would have the money or means to afford what lies in store for me down the road.
I wish I had an answer to this to be quiet honest and this confusion as to why we, parents, feel the need to give our kids bigger and better, really does puzzle me.
That was then…
I can recall my own birthday party, when I turned six. It was at a local McDonald’s. My parents paid for burgers, fries and drinks, plus good old fashioned ice cream sundaes for a few of my friends. Afterwards, we played on McDonald’s playground. It was anything, but grand and yet I have fond memories of that party.
However, this was back in the day before fast food became the demon and all to blame in our world.
This is now…
Still, at every upscale party I have attended for my girls or their friends, the meal of choice served is usually pizza followed by some sort of cake or cupcakes for dessert, with enough processed sugar to make even a 1,000 pound elephant bounce off the walls.
Lily’s Mickey Mouse Cake That I Made
The price of the entertainment and meal alone is more than a car payment and possibly slightly less than a monthly mortgage payment for many.
But as much as I can vent here about it, I know that I am lacking answers or even a backbone to go the economical route.
I could half ass it by making a homemade cake, which my not so crafty self has done in the past and somehow managed to pull off though only adding hours and days onto my already hectic life.
So, I will let someone else, like Carvel or even a professional baker, indeed make the cake for us.
On second thought, I’ll let Carvel have their moment to shine here…
Or I could also simply have the party in our home. As again, we have done this, but the clean up alone before and after, it is truly something that I still have nightmares about. Plus, having fifteen or so, six year olds with the attention span of a goldfish entertained in my house sounds like pure hell on earth!
For these two reasons alone on second thought, I get why parents (myself included) have been opting in recent years to pay through the nose to throw elaborate birthday parties for their young kids.
So, I will go big or go home with this upcoming birthday party of some sorts for my oldest come this July whether it be a princess party or something else, because that is what parents do for kid’s birthdays to keep their sanity in tact for another day.
[Tweet “Kids #birthday #parties are they worth it? #confused #1word #parenting @TheGoldenSpoons @Blogitudes”]
This post was written for the One Word Blog Linkup that is hosted by Lisa of The Golden Spoons, Marcia of Blogitudes and yours truly, too.
The words for this week are: Confused or Wonderful; Please feel free to linkup and join us this week.
[inlinkz_linkup id=509105 mode=1]
Allie says
I definitely did a huge party for the boy’s first birthday – now, I have two on the same day so I feel like I can get a tad crazier! BUT, ever since they started having a “family” party and a “kids” party, I try to do as little as possible. It’s not as expensive around here to throw parties at local places and this year (the boys’ birthdays are in a few weeks) I’m having it at the local Y in the pool. The kids will love it, the adults get to sit on the sidelines and the Y does pretty much all the work. And, you are an amazing cake maker!!! Holy cow! I definitely have purchased every single cake those boys have ever had!!
Janine says
Allie, I am truly trying to find someplace that is a bit less expensive, but for the most part the party places here are pretty similar in pricing. As for the cakes, thank you for you kind words. I did a few of the character ones early on, but they are very time consuming as much as I did like the end result 😉
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama says
The birthday situation in nyc is completely out of control. I have decided to alternate years–big one for little small one for oldest and visa versa. They love whatever we do for them and sometimes love is all you need for a birthday.
Janine says
I love that idea, Nellie and can’t thank you enough for sharing! 😉
Seana Turner says
I can see all sides of this one. It is difficult to have a swarm in your house. For my summer birthday girl, we had more options.. the beach, the park, the playground. It is harder in the winter. I think the food matters very little to the kids, so I think that is a good place to save money. There is pressure to put on a big event, at this age with birthday parties, and then eventually graduation parties and weddings and…. So, I think parents need to do what feels right to them.
Janine says
Seana, I do very much agree that it boils down to what works for the parents in this case.
Liza Hawkins says
We keep it simple over here, and the kids (so far) don’t seem to mind (ages 10 and 6), even though they’ve both been invited to way over-the-top parties for friends!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Love that you keep it simple and thanks Liza for sharing with me! 😉
Bev says
My birthday parties were always quite memorable. I have no idea how much my parents spent on them, but they weren’t that elaborate, though they were usually out of the house. Usually something like bowling or painting something. I worry about falling into that trap of spending a lot as Eve gets older. Her 1st birthday we kept it super low=key at home. We did buy a cake and some food for people to eat, but it wasn’t anything fancy. We’ll see what birthday #2 brings!
Janine says
Bev, my parents always had parties for me, but just kept it simple. I still have such great memories though simple or not. Can’t wait to hear about Eve’s 2nd birthday though now, too 😉
Jill says
We just did our first kids party for my son’s 5th. We rented a bouncy castle, got bakery cupcakes off the shelf and had chips & dip and bagel bites for snacks. Mostly, the kids just ran around in our yard and had a good time. We were a little revolutionary because I have decided to boycott goody bags, which earned me a few confused frowns from some of the other moms…
Janine says
Jill, I gave out cake pops at my 4 year old’s party instead of the traditional goodie bags, but love that you didn’t do one at all and need to be a bit of rebel like that this time out!
Kirstenjill Hudkins Robbins says
We’re a big fan of simple…and of including adult refreshment.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Adult refreshment is a true necessity! 😉
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says
I think that we had small family parties for my boys’ first bdays but their subsequent birthdays have been bigger parties outside of the home. It’s crazy how expensive they can be and I definitely feel like we have to keep up with the kids around us. And the kids’ expectations are definitely set by what they see at their friends’ bdays. This year, we were “lucky” in that my older son asked to have his party at Chuck E. Cheese which was a bargain compared to everywhere else! I admit, at first I was worried because it wasn’t cool and their pizza is gross but the kids had so much fun and that’s the most important.
Janine says
Christine, I agree as long as the kids are having fun that is truly the important issue at hand. Surprised though that Chuck E. Cheese was the bargain here and goes to show you just never know!
Emily says
I should not even admit this in public (although I did also write a blog about it a while back), but I had my son’s 1st birthday party at the Central Park Zoo!! Ridiculous, and soooo expensive! My son couldn’t even walk yet!! The good news is, the older they get, the parties become smaller (less kids) and simpler. For my son’s 11th birthday this year, I took 5 of his friends to an indoor glow-in-the-dark mini golf place and then back to our house for pizza and cake. It was so easy…and cheap!
Janine says
Emily, I love that you admitted this here and huge thank you for sharing this with me 🙂
Dara says
with all of my kids’ birthdays coming up, it’s time for me to think about this too! Zachary has not had a party for a few years so I do want him to have a party – I’m thinking of something in the park! Gabbie wants to have a few friends for a sleepover! I’m not sure I’m ready for that!
Janine says
Dara, my 10 year old niece also just had her first sleepover. So I am thinking this is the age now for that.
Echo says
Birthday parties are definitely a lot different now then they used to be. They have become huge to dos! Honestly, I have fallen victim to the birthday trap, but I pride myself on doing it as frugally as possible!
Janine says
Echo, I know it is crazy and like I said totally done it, too.
Rosey says
You’re great at making cakes!! I didn’t know until now. 🙂
Pinned your Mickey Cake.
I don’t go all out for the parties. The kids have a good time no matter what I spend, so I go frugal. 🙂 There are other areas I spend too much for in though…for the kids. I think we’re all guilty of it in one area or another.
Janine says
Thank you so much Rosey for pinning and I truly didn’t know I had it in me for cakes until I had kids – who knew! 😉
Rosey says
I didn’t know I’d be so bad at cake decorating until I had kids. Some people just got it, and others…well, that’s me. 😉 I do appreciate the talent of others like yourself though!
Janine says
Aw, thanks Rosey and truly never knew that I could decorate a cake like this until I had my girls, because before that I never had a reason to try either.
Joy @ Yesterfood says
Janine, you always write something very thought-provoking! Those of us who don’t have kids at home anymore….we still fall into the trap of spending like everyone else, or trying to top everyone else…just in different areas. Ugh- is that what we want to teach our kids, or in my case, grandkids? As always, a great read! 🙂
Janine says
Thank you, Joy for your kind words and I can only imagine when I have grandkids what I will do, as well though.
Bill says
Birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese….the absolute worst. Just shoot me, it would be kinder.
And that’s all I have to say about kids parties. 🙂 Have a great Wednesday, Janine.
Janine says
Bill, thank you for making me smile and wish you a great day once again, too! 😉
Diane Roark says
Janine,
Until my kids became teens we had big birthday parties. I always had a huge celebration like a skating (ice and roller), gymnatics, swimming, tumbling, McDonald’s, Bounce House, party and more. Once they became teenagers, the parties pretty much stopped excepted for a family party or a family vacation weekend. It was impossible to keep up with the expectations. While living in the New Orleans area, my oldest daughter turned 16. Everyone in her class had basically a WEDDING RECEPTION for their SWEET 16. I mean thousands of $$$ from the dress to the food to the event center. I think this is pretty much the trend everywhere for a sweet 16 party from what I am told. I have 5 kids and was not going to go there. We thought the money would be spent more wisely helping our kids get something dependable to drive.
Thanks for sharing!
Diane Roark
Janine says
Diane, I think MTV made the Sweet 16 what it is today sadly and like you I can’t live up to that with two girls only a year apart. So, totally appreciate you sharing with me, as well though, too.
Marcia @ Blogitudes says
Birthdays and Christmas is what comes to my mind while reading your post, Janine. Growing up, my parents always kept birthday celebrations fairly small when my two sisters or I would have one. We usually had sleep-overs, games, and a home-made cake. The parties weren’t anything spectacular – yet I never had a bad one and always felt satisfied. Christmas, on the other hand, we always did it big scale – presents to and from everyone. It continued on that level as my sisters and I began to marry … and then as new babies arrived … and then those babies became young adults and they started to marry … etc. etc. In the blink of an eye (it seems), Christmas celebrating became too grand for many of us to keep up with. There were too many of us now. We had to downsize the celebrating. … And I’m still getting over the loss of grand Christmases. Don’t think I’ll ever stop missing them.
Janine says
Marcia, I know Christmas was always big here, too and even though it has become a bit less on scale, I still don’t think I could even really get over missing those Christmases either.
Meredith says
I’ve done my share of over the top, and low key. My oldest is now getting to the age where she just wants her friends to come over and “play” so for her birthday, we had water games in the backyard with an ice cream sundae bar. It was perfect. And, I probably spent less than $100. 🙂 One year, we did a PJs and pancakes party. Also super inexpensive. I don’t do those destination birthdays very often unless it’s a milestone year. Birthday parties are TOO MUCH WORK. Period.
Janine says
I agree about them being just too much work, but I am liking the sounds of the parties being a bit less work as they do get older – something to definitely look forward to!
Andrew S. Delfino says
My brother was young enough when he had his first that most of the cost of the first birthay party went to a keg for all the adults. But after that, nothing was as simple and fun again. Probably because there weren’t anymore kegs.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Andrew, kegs and Red Solo Cups really do make the world go round! 😉
Lauren Baker Cormier says
I hear you and I think you got it right when you said it’s a big parenting competition. I’ve found that the parties we go to usually end up with the kids playing with the toys that are there anyway (and having a great time doing it!). They don’t care about tons of games or crafts or whatever. I’m also with you on hating having the stress of setup and cleanup if I have it at my house though. My three kids all have spring birthdays and my plan this year is to rent a local rec center. It’s not that expensive, we can have a bazillion people there all at once, the kids can run around like crazy in the gym, and I only have to deal with one party. Sounds like a win to me.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Lauren, that does sound like a win-wn to me and I have one summer birthday and one late fall. But the competition definitely has gotten worse and agree with you on that.
Kim says
We did birthday parties for years but not on such an elaborate scale – I guess that is one good thing about living in the midwest:) Now my boys never care about parties – they usually have a few friends and do something – movie, dinner, hockey game…..So much easier.
Janine says
Kim, I am jealous and that does sound so much easier indeed!
Rabia @TheLiebers says
We’ve opted for mostly family parties, although the kids have had a few friend parties for special ages. I just can’t justify spending all that money on a birthday party. Plus they get WAY more presents than 20 children would ever need if we have friend parties. I do wish I had someone else to clean up after the parties, though. That’s a HUGE pain!
Janine says
Rabia, I know truly not a fan of the cleanup at all!
christina says
The confusion of birthday parties…yup we all face it. I have to say we’ve thrown some great parties (pats self on back). Some have been elsewhere, but most at our house. I try to have a theme, 60’s tie dye, pirates etc. A couple of my favorites were giant soccer games, or field games at a local park. The field only cost $2 to rent for the day!! Hopefully my kids will remember the costly ones and the ones done on the cheap!
Janine says
That is awesome that you only had to pay $2 for the whole day. And I hope your kids will indeed remember them all! 😉
Jill Ginsberg says
Princesses have maids so maybe have the party at your house to cut down the venue costs and then hire someone to help clean up. You’ll save money and avoid recurrent nightmares:)
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Jill, I love it and sadly though right now I am the princesses’ maid here!
Susanne/The Dusty Parachute says
We keep our kids’ parties fairly simple and typically try to have them at home. However, last year we ‘won’ a birthday party (at our school auction) at our awesome Alamo Draft House movie theater. My daughter and her friends had the whole theater to themselves to watch The Lego Movie and a full cereal bar for breakfast. Going to be hard to walk it back from that one this year. 🙂
Janine says
That sounded awesome and seriously wish I could have won a party like that! 😉
Susanne Lewis Kerns says
We try to keep things pretty simple with home parties, but I do make a mean birthday cake (based on some really odd requests.) My son asked for the dump scene out of Toy Story 3 one year! It was huge, here’s a pic: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/484277766155187485/
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
You definitely do and quite impressive!!
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
Both of my boys have August birthdays, so we do one big bash for both of them. We get pizzas and a bouncy house & that’s it. That’s enough.
Janine says
I love that you can combine them into one big party! 😉
Jill Ginsberg says
I can’t recall if I shared this with you before but our kids are on the every-other-year-plan. It’s a byproduct of them all having summer birthdays and my complete inability to cope with creating 3 birthday parties in one season. It seems to work well, they really look forward to their parties and we only have to drop a load of cash once every two years (per kid). Win-win, right?
Janine says
Not going to argue with that logic and a total win-win!
Meredith Ethington says
I left you a comment. I think it’s all about finding a balance….and even though I don’t drink, I do like the idea of having something special for the adults. 🙂
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Meredith, thank you for the comment, too. And balance is something I think I do need to find now with these parties, as well as those special drinks for us adults, too! 😉
Allie @ The Latchkey Mom says
I don’t know, perhaps its because I have done so many parties at this point (for kids, oldest is 14), that I regret all the money that was spent on parties.. I fell in the trap more with my daughter, because honestly, I think girl parties can be pricier. But one year for my boys, I had a house party – with a leaf pile, piñata and pin the tail on the donkey. It was cheap (cake and pizza, no goodie bags), and every one had a blast. Best party we ever had. My youngest has a summer birthday and he’s only had TWO parties:) (he’s seven). We take him to the beach instead, and give him lots of presents. He loves it.
Janine says
I love that the cheapest party was indeed the best that you ended up throwing and the beach sounds like heaven to me, too! 😉
Jeannine Ulasich Eubanks says
I have always kept them as simple as possible. I really truly hate planning birthday parties.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I truly hate planning them, too!
Jeannette Bellesfield says
Godparents (and their families) and Grandparents at our parties.. anymore is just too much! My kids enjoy themselves regardless and don’t know any different 🙂
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I wish that were the case with my kids! 🙂
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Since my girls have gone to school it totally has changed.
Jeannette Bellesfield says
Well with one starting school in the fall, I’m sure it will change 🙂
Tamara says
They are confusing! You’re invited to our summer bash. We just throw one big party for all three birthday people – Scarlet, Des, Me – and last year we went overboard with a giant princess cake and a bounce house!
ha. We’ve always done more cost effective ones too!
Janine says
Aw, I loved your overboard though and you need to let me know when this years is 😉
Melanie Loveday Madamba says
Truly the first few birthdays are for the parents, regardless of how simple or ridiculous. Who remembers their first (or even 2nd or 3rd) birthday parties?
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Agreed totally!
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
I agree that the birthday party thing is totally out of hand and I, too, am guilty of doing it. The last over that top one we did was when my middle daughter turned 9. She wanted a pool party like her sisters who both have August birthdays, but her birthday is in December. My husband actually had the bright idea to cash in his travel points and get adjoining hotel rooms for a slumber party so they could use the hotel pool. It was a lot of fun and actually didn’t cost much since we used his points, but I was the one who spent a sleepless night in a hotel bed with a room full of giggle girls next door!
Janine says
I totally felt your pain on spending a sleepless night next door to giggling 9 year old girls. The things we do for our kids, Lisa!
Camille says
I have to say I don’t understand what you’re going through with the birthday parties, at least not yet. Kaylee always insists she just wants a small party, for some odd reason. But next year she wants a big gymnastics party, and if we do a big party for her, we’ll have to do one for her sister of course! Their birthdays are pretty close too, so that will be a lot of party planning madness packed into a couple months’ time.
Janine says
Camille, I wish my girls wanted small. We did do the gymnastics party first with Emma and then with Lily and here at the very least pretty costly, but seems to be the going rate still even after pricing a few different places though.
Jen says
I always make sure to get 2 extra large pieces of cake for myself at my kiddos parties, because they wouldn’t be enjoying the day if I hadn’t done a bunch of hard work to get them here!
Janine says
Love it Jen! I totally agree and said it perfectly 😉
Aunt Gloria says
I am all in favor of cutting back on the competition for the big birthday bashes for young kids who really don’t care a lot about the party but are more interested in playing and being kept occupied. The cost gets out of hand. Somebody has to be brave and reverse the trend……scale down and keep it simple! It might also be an idea to have only 4 or 6 good friends instead of a gang of kids….Ice cream at Friendly’s. We used to have our parties after school for our closest friends with cake and a drink and it was over by 5 pm so everyone went home for dinner. It was in the house but not overwhelming. And we played pin the tail on the donkey. A good time was had by all! Think about it!
Love……..
Janine says
Great suggestions, Aunt Gloria and hoping you are feeling better now!! xoxo 😉
Aunt Gloria says
Thanks….yes, I’m all better now and need to stay that way for the trip to Rochester! Hope the weekend is going well in spite of more winter weather! xxoo
Janine says
Glad to hear and I now have a head cold and seriously so over this winter that just doesn’t seem to want to end! Xoxo
Kisma says
While so much has changed since my teens were that small, the parties have not. I have always been a fan of less is more and letting my kids decided what they want for their parties while at the same time, keeping them grounded to a reasonable amount. A few good friends, pizza party at the house or a movie out seems to be the winner at our place. I learned that no matter what we do as parents, it is really about what the kids will remember.
Janine says
Kisma, I do essentially agree that it is what the kids do remember in the end. Thank you for sharing and weighing in.
Jack says
We used to go nuts with the birthday parties but eventually we cut back because we just couldn’t stomach how much we were spending for a brief moment in time. By the time my kids turned 8 the sleepover parties started.
I disliked them immensely but the kids had a great time and my children were thrilled so it worked out in the end.
Janine says
Jack, I am realizing this slowly now that it will most likely all work out for the best in the end. Just got to get there, I suppose.
Jack says
Enjoy the ride up to it. Last year was the first year my teenager didn’t have some sort of get together with friends. Part of me was happy but I missed seeing some of his friends.
They don’t hang out around my house very often so it is harder to get to know them.
Janine says
Jack, you make a great point and I guess I should be happy that at the very least I still get to be included in this. Thanks, my friend 🙂
April G says
I am completely on the other side of this equation. I don’t get it and refuse to do it. My daughter had a great birthday party and first birthdays are for close family members only. None of the reasons seem justified for ME to spend that kind of money. Money is tight and since I know I can’t keep up the insanity of entitlement, I have chosen to not be involved. What is confusing to me is the need to send home goodie bags too! So, you throw a party, pay a bunch of money to entertain other people’s children, but then are also supposed to give them a gift in return? When else do you get a present at someone else’s birthday party?
Anywho… I actually linked up in time! Pats herself on the back. 🙂
Janine says
Yay and so happy you did link up in time this week (I love having you). And I know like I said the whole thing is crazy and yet I have given into it now for the most part sadly here.
Carrie Groneman says
Wow, I had no idea, but I guess because of limited resources. My kids always had parties and I gave them a budget from the time they were about 8 or so of $20-50ish to allocate (depending on age). They could use anything in the house for invitations, food, crafts, etc., to use for ‘free’ that didn’t have to count in the birthday $. But the $ had to include a thank you for each guest. They were pretty creative and we had amazing parties of the kids making their own box cars with car-side service of caramel and regular popcorn, hot dogs, pop, candy, etc and watching movies on a ‘big-screen’ movie being projected by Stan on a sheet. They did human foosball, spinart and tie-dye clothing. Had a DJ come for a dance with 100 kids for sweet 16 (did get $100 budget for 16th bday) and tons of food. Anyway, that’s how I did it to teach my kids the value of money, how to budget, organize and lead. Janine, YOU write with such humor and wit, I LOVE you! Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow
Janine says
Aw, I LOVE you, too Carrie and I loved that you used birthday parties to teach budgeting and the value of money to your kids. Thank you for sharing that with me here and also for always just being an awesome friend to me, too! 😉
Rea says
As parents, we always want to have the best surprises and parties for our kids. I never had any big parties for Reiko though since he was one. It was always the simplest for us and only the family and closest friends. But that’s really because I can’t afford to have a very big party. Whatever party you have in store for your kids though, it doesn’t make you less of a great mom. So go girl! 🙂
Janine says
Aw, thank you Rea and you are an awesome mom, too 😉
Sarah Nenni Daher says
Oooh, this is a toughie. It kind of a “keeping up with the Jones'” thing, isn’t it?
We’re not yet at that age, so we’ve only had smaller gatherings for these first 3 years, although I’m totally guilty of the party bags. I love making things for kids, so I like to give them something fun. I am not sure what she’ll want to do as she gets older, but I will not be renting out a museum or the zoo (that’s totally a thing here in Seattle).
You’re like my “Fairy of Things to Come” blogger… 🙂
Janine says
Sarah, thank you for saying that and it is definitely a bit of keeping up with the Jones in essence.
Kenya G. Johnson says
Ouch to $700! We can’t do that in December. In fact each year as December approached we asked Christopher if he wanted a party or presents. He always picked presents. He’s only had the traditional 1st bday party that was all adults. I would have done something simple by now but they weather is unpredictable in December and I wouldn’t want to plan something and then have a bunch of boys in my house – that could easily end up costing $700 for some type of damage. No thanks.
LOL and I did go to my fair share of McDonald’s parties when I was little – and that was a BIG deal!
I think for a girl though I may have had something nice birthdays – 1, 5, 10 and 16.
Janine says
Kenya, I totally recall those years you mentioned as a girl and even 16, I had a sweet 16, but in our house with family and a few select friends. As for December, I think you totally are onto something with the either or. We have November before Thanksgiving with Lily and still can’t get away with it as much as I wish I could though.
Johnna Green says
I also did far too many lavish parties for my girls. For the first time this past March for my oldest 5 year old birthday I did a small tea party with 6 of her friends and we played “duck duck goose” and “hot potato” and it was honestly far better than the parties I have done in the past spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars. It was so simple and we all got to actually be in the moment without all the “extras.”
Have you see this You Tube, “Body After Baby- Sh*t they don’t tell you” so hilarious and true https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJRdr5ScSSY
Janine says
I love that video and thank you for sharing with me. I love tea party birthday party idea and definitely sounded like a perfect alternative to the expensive parties. Again thank you for sharing! 😉
Alexa says
OMG! $700?????? Holy moly! We’ve always just had parties at our house for that reason. This year I forked out the money for Anna and Elsa to come by, but didn’t pay nearly $700. Wowie. After 5, our kids no longer get big parties – until the major birthdays. 13, 16. But they can invite a couple of friends to go to the movies or a fun park or something.
Can’t believe she’s almost 6! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Janine says
Alexa, I know that price alone was sticker shock for me, too. And thank you, because I am going to need all the luck I can get now! 😉
Chris Carter says
OH Janine- you are such a great mom!!! I am not really one to throw elaborate parties for my kids- actually it’s been years since I did much at all. Ouch. When they were younger, I would rent a park picnic area for cheap and have the parties there. My son’s birthday is in the winter, so I have done bowling for a low price (really cheap!) and A rock climbing wall at our rec center (also really cheap!) and made Funfetti Betty Crocker cupcakes, ordered cheap pizza and DONE!
But your girls will always remember those parties- and it’s your way of showing them how very much they are loved by you!!
Janine says
Chris, thank you for saying that and I maw with you though on hoping in the years to come we can get back to cheap and done, too! 😉
Dana says
My kids are both August birthdays, and the best parties were the pool parties at the swim club. Inexpensive entertainment, no mess in my house, and loads of fun! I feel for you, Janine – planning birthday parties is stressful and expensive.
Janine says
Dana, I wish both my girls were summer as I know that usually does make it easier on all levels, but sadly Lily is November. But still so expensive and definitely feel it each year here!
Amber says
Honestly, we mostly have family parties. I’m just not big on huge parties. We tend to just invite one family and call it a day. With my son’s 13th birthday we just had one family over, and I ordered pizza. It was peaceful.
Janine says
That does sound peaceful and thanks for sharing, Amber 😉
Janine says
Christy, must have totally been the thing back in the day! Hugs right back to you and thank you so much for sharing, too! 😉
Kelly L McKenzie says
Oh they are brutal aren’t they. Yikes. I have utter horror stories about my kids’ birthdays and am SO happy those days have come and gone. Last year the 6 year-old girl across the street had a fairy party and we watched out the window as the Queen Fairy arrived. All the girls left wearing a pair of wings. Reminds me of my son’s Pirate Party where the purple pirate arrived in a truck equipped with a canon blowing bubbles … I’ve deliberately forgotten the expense of that venture.
Good luck come July.
Janine says
Thanks for the luck, Kelly and hoping in years to come I will be able to block out the cost here, too! 😉
Gingi says
I did a HUGE party for my first daughters baby shower.. and after looking at all my receipts and the total cash dropped on a tiny party, I vowed to keep it simple, lol. Part of me wants to throw a huge shindig for each girl, but really, we have JUST as much fun with little backyard BBQs as big ol’ blowouts.. why are parties so pricey these days?!?! – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
Janine says
Gingi, I wish I knew, but I know each party seems to be more expensive than the last each year now, too!
Kristi Campbell says
I can SO relate. Tucker is a 4th of July baby so his friends are never in town and all of our family lives out of town. Each year, we take a trip. The first two, we actually rented a house in Colorado (where my family is) and had my husband’s family fly out for it. We then drove to Montana (my mom) and OMG most expensive birthday ever. The next year, we rented a house in TN (husband’s family) and well, we’ve since started taking a beach trip. Still expensive but we can combine it with our summer vacation expense.
This year, Tucker wants a Ninja party so I’m not sure what’ll happen but I loved LOVED your line about more sugar than is needed to have an elephant bouncing off the walls!
Janine says
Kristi, I love you have combined with your vacations at the very least. I truly wish I could at the very least do that, but we are doing Disney in August and that is a whole separate event. And the elephants line, I truly couldn’t resist 😉
Indah Nuria Savitri says
I usually have one intimate party with families and throw a simple one at school :)..That helps me a lot with 2 kids both celebrating their birthdays in December :). Since I’m pretty low in the skill of baking department, I go order the cake outside and have some home made food for the rest. Well, we also go easy on the prizes as kids just got excited only for a short while 🙂
Janine says
Indah, you are so right about kids loving the prizes for the short run. So, the last party, I did cake pops believe it or not, but still wish I could come up with more ways to save a bit of money.
Patty says
I have 5 children ages 27 to 10. So I have a little experience with birthday parties. Every year we did a family birthday party – grandparents, aunts and uncles. It was a simple, low key get together to celebrate. If there were 2 cousins that shared the same birthday time period, we often would combine them. On the actual day of their birth we do dinner and a movie with only my husband, me and our children.
My children got 2 friend parties from birth to 18. They usually had one around 6-7 and another around age 12-13. These cost a little more, but the one at 12-13, they only invited close friends. My daughters at age 13 was a card making party.
Yes, it was hard for my daughter when her best friend had a professional band playing at her 16 birthday party, but in the long run the lesson that it taught my daughter about the value of money was worth it. Sometimes as parents, we need to set the bar lower so they understand the value of money, working hard and sacrifice. My daughter is an adult now. She has worked since she was 16, bought her own car, and gives monthly to Compassion International for 2 children. She also volunteers in our local community. While the friends that were having lavish parties aren’t so inclined at age 21 to be charitable. Life is all about them and what they can get our of it.
I would serioiusly skip the birthday party. Just have a nice little get together with family, and take your daughter to volunteer somewhere. The lesson you teach her will be so worth it.
Janine says
That is a definite possibly and I thank you so much for sharing with me today, Patty 😉
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
We’ve always gone low-key with birthday parties. My daughter has been to a couple big birthday parties but we’re quite discerning as to what she will attend. The friends she talks about all the time… maybe she’ll go to that birthday. The kids who hand out an invitation to everyone in the Girl Guide troop, the homeschool group, etc. – we don’t attend those.
Maybe it’s for this reason we’ve never even had to contemplate the “party” thing. Every birthday the parent who’s working has the day off; my kids get to choose what special place they want to go to for their birthday (science centre, indoor playground, etc.), they choose the dinner they want and we do cake. We also always give a one homemade gift on their birthdays. We haven’t had to invite friends yet but I would limit this as well – one or two buddies… that’s all. For now I enjoy the special family time we have on birthdays. One day I know a friend will be in the mix but we’ve started low-key and affordable… and I have every intention of keeping it that way (because our one income budget would never be able to withstand anything more anyway).
I like how you reflected on your own childhood memories. My biggest memory was that my mom and dad always had my birthday off from work – and I got to skip school on that day. Obviously, I’m passing that tradition along.
Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
Janine says
Aw, I love that tradition and my older is in the summer, so she definitely has off, but my younger is right before Thanksgiving each year, but possibly could do that, too. Thank you, Jen and have a great weekend again! xoxo 🙂
Denise says
Here’s my suggestion. Stop now. Stop going over the top. You can do it! I had a first birthday party for each of my girls. They cost, maybe, $50 each…that includes small decorations and cake. The only people invited were immediate family, and that’s all who attended. Simple and quiet, but still special (with the first cake, tutus, etc). I have not thrown another party since. My oldest turns 4 this year and she’s getting her first friend party. I’ll admit that it is particularly easy because she only has 4 classmates in her preschool class. The party is in 2 weeks and I just reserved a pavilion at our local park (free because we live in a small town) right next to a playground. I did buy some decorations and a few treats for the kids and will buy a cake. That way clean up and everything is at a location other than our small home. If it rains, I’ll provide a fun activity or two. Cost? $100 and that bugs me as being too much. (I forgot that decorations cost so much.)
My general plan going forward is to have a few more parties but with the guest list matching my child’s age (5 kids at 5 years, 6 at 6 years, etc). First, I don’t have the money or budget to spend a lot on a party, besides which I don’t think the indulgence is necessary. If you like doing that, more power to you, but I get the impression you don’t like it as much anymore. So, I suggest you stop now. Set ages where your daughters can have big parties (like 5, 10, 13, 16, etc) and the years between can be smaller affairs with just a handful of friends. It will make the big parties more special and something to look forward to instead of something expected. Just my thoughts (sorry I got so long winded…LOL).
Janine says
Denise, thank you and seriously I need to be stronger and at the very least am planning on keeping the invite list down to only those kids that she is friendly with (girls only, too).
Corinne Rodrigues says
So much pressure! I see it in India too, Janine. And that’s one of the times I wonder, what I would have done if I was a parent.
But you might be surprised to know that two families I know take their kids to homes for orphans and celebrate their birthdays there!
Lily Lau says
Aww, that Mickey Mouse cake, Janine! Hahah, I don’t remember my first cake, but I’m sure it was a chocolate cake and that I surely couldn’t enjoy it yet!
Janine says
Thanks Lily and I also don’t remember my first birthday cake either 😉
Jay says
I’m a party planner and I love every aspect of a party. Do I contribute to over the top parties for my nephews? Guilty. Except I don’t feel guilt, and nor should any parent, whether you do a big party or small. Time spent with friends and family is what your kid will remember about their birthday. The size and expense of the party should depend on what makes it easiest for you.
Janine says
Jay, thank you for weighing in and definitely agree about what makes it the easiest for parents in general, too.
Leah says
I hear you. As my kids got older though, we transitioned to having parties at home with a theme : movie theme, Lego theme, sports theme, bug theme, cupcake theme… It was a lot of work, but significantly cheaper. When they were younger there were just too many kids and too much hype. . So maybe don’t fret about it now but have a “cut off” age where you transition into something more low key!
Janine says
Leah, great advice and really I can’t say enough how much I appreciate it! 😉
Sinea Pies says
Janine, I totally identify. Gratefully, I had a good example in my parents who set guidelines early in our lives. We knew that certain birthday parties would be the “big ones” Age 5 and 10 and 13 I think. And that was if we wanted to do a big one. The others were strictly close family. For us, that was our grandparents. We didn’t have a lot of family in town. My brother and I are Decmeber babies, which has its drawbacks if you also celebrate Christmas. So, each of us had one year that we also had a /12 birthday where friends were invited. We had a pool so we had a pool party. Seems like the big parties would be more special if they are not done as often.
Janine says
Sinea, I agree that the big parties would indeed be more special if they weren’t done as often, but this is the trend more and more right now that I am seeing all over. But glad you could identify and thank you for sharing with me 😉
Alison says
I wrote a post a long time ago about why I hate kids parties, lol.
I still do, and I still won’t throw one for my kids. Poor kids.
Janine says
Alison, I love that you wrote about this and have to see if I can find it on your site to see what you had to say in more depth now.
The Pinterested Parent says
Lol! I love you Janine. Kid’s parties really are so crazy. We have had small ones at home so far. Having a winter baby is tricky when it comes to parties. We would have to rent some place for certain & while she is still young, I am not ready to shell out the big bucks. I am certain I will some day too. You are right though, it is crazy. We should be having the parties thrown for us for having pushed them out of our hoo-has.
Janine says
I love you too, Kim! And so glad it isn’t just me with this and I couldn’t resist with the hoo-has by the way here! 😉
Catherine Gacad says
i am struggling with this right now as i plan franco’s 1st birthday party. we are getting pizza and mini cupcakes from target. that’s it! however, we are having it at our home and there will be 75 people there…these are all our friends and family who have to be invited…and we limited to only friends/family with kids! so not even our single friends or friends without kids are invited. so the biggest expense was renting chairs and tables! and i’m looking at a bill of close to $1000. i’m so embarrassed to say that…but i guess it is more a celebration of friends and family and the fact that we made it to one year of parenting! yikes! it really is no expensive.
Janine says
Aw, Catherine sounds like a wonderful party is planned though and hope you will share after on your blog 😉