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How Being Sick is Different for This Dad Versus This Mom

Filed Under: BLOG, Crazyiness, Family Life, humorous posts, Life in General, Married Life, Sickness Tagged With: , , ,

“Keeping busy, helps the day move along.”

This was my husband’s text message response to me after asking me midday how I was feeling a day after I had been running a low grade fever and just overall felt worn out.

Trust me, I got it and he was right keeping busy does help at least let the day when you are sick go somewhat quicker.  However, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head even if I truly couldn’t.

But still, it was only a few weeks before this when he was sick with a low grade fever that he had literally taken to his bed for over four hours one afternoon to nap.  Also for days, I heard how sick he was (mind you his fever never went above 100.4 degrees) and even how when he had been coughing during the night he swore that he heard wheezing.  So, he was clearly on death’s door!

Yet, I am not feeling up to par, I am told to keep moving and not give into it.

And for the most part that is what I normally do, because as a woman and a mom, I truly can’t afford to stop and even shared how moms can’t get sick.

Still, I find that being sick is treated differently by a man/dad versus a woman/mom, because the man flu is apparently real and also quite severe at least in my home.

Man-Versus-Women-Being-Sick

So I present purely for entertaining pleasure only, when this dad gets sick…

Wakes up to complain about it and not move for at least an hour.

Once he does move, he makes sure all around him know he is indeed sick.

For breakfast, he needs some citrus–maybe orange juice or possibly a cup of tea with lemon and honey, because he is sick.

Midday arrives and in case you didn’t know he was sick, he will make sure to tell you again. Then subsequently take to his bed, because he clearly is sick and possibly even dying.

man-flu-dying

When nap time is over, you get to hear a rising chorus of how miserable he is still feeling.  And as much as you loathe the napping dad, you must admit at least he is quiet!

At dinner, he can barely eat it. Because don’t you know he is ill and just can’t stomach a meal on his death bed.

Is it bedtime yet? Because once again, he is sick.

Now it is clearly bedtime as he is by all appearance very much sound asleep, snoring and still so very sick though.

Next morning, repeat and rise with the man cold here.  Because he is sick and even though he was clearly sleeping soundly beside you, he really allegedly wasn’t and is just so tired now.  Appearances are and can most certainly be deceiving with this dad.

Conversely I give you when this mom gets sick…

Mom gets up before the alarm, even though she feels miserable, because she knows it will only be worse in the end if she doesn’t.

The day is a blur as she takes care of the normal and regular daily routine with breakfast, getting all out the door and more.  

Mom eats when she remembers, because that is what happens on a normal day–sick or not.

woman-cold

She works, cooks, cleans, helps with homework, chauffeurs her children and so much more, because again that is just what moms do sick or not.

When mom’s bed calls her, someone always interrupts bedtime. Because once again sick or not, this is the drill.

Finally she hits the pillow, only to rehash in her brain all that she must take care of in the morning and the day to follow.

Wake up time already once again and this mom is ready to do it all over–well, sick or else.

Just once this mom would like to be this dad when she gets sick, but then again pretty sure she wouldn’t know how to do it even if she tried!

Is #TheManFlu real in your home, too? #coldandfluseason

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*I kid in jest here and no dads were harmed in the telling of this tale!  Also, I must confess that my kids both got sick while I was still sick with the above mentioned virus, my husband did step up to the plate in more ways than one to help out.  So, trust me this post was truly meant for a bit of levity and laughs after our house was what seemed like under quarantine for about 3 weeks from start to finish.  So over the illnesses, snow and more that comes with winter time now.  I have only one question, is it spring yet?

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

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Comments

  1. Kathy Radigan says

    I so hear you!!! When I was pregnant with my third I had to be on a steroid, along with a lot of other meds. I was on these for the whole pregnancy. When the baby was about 3 weeks old my husband got poison ivy and had to take a steroid. He walked in on me while I was bathing my other two and I asked him for a hand, he said he couldn’t help me because he was on a steroid and had to be careful. He was really lucky I didn’t throw something at him!!! Lol!

    • Janine says

      Oh man, Kathy sounds about right and seriously you are a better person than me, because not sure I wouldn’t have thrown something at him in that moment if it were me! LOL!!! 🙂

  2. Seana Turner says

    Such a funny and accurate observation. When my husband gets sick, we seem to be on the verge of a serious diagnosis and need lots of tlc. When I get sick, I’m not sure anyone really notices!

  3. Nellie says

    LOL yes!! when my husband gets sick…oh my gosh I can NEVER hear the end of it. He can barely lift a pinky!! Nice to know that I am not alone in this crazy!!

  5. Emily says

    Hahaha – too funny and yes, this happens in our house too. My husband had a man-cold that lasted for WEEKS! He finally went to the dr. and got some medications, but those were some very long weeks in our house. 🙂 I’m with you on counting the days until spring!

    • Janine says

      Emily, he finally got medicine, too and then I had to hear the complaints of him taking said meds. And spring truly can’t come quick enough now! 😉

  8. Bill says

    Well, I hope you both get well soon. This is a tough subject for me because I’m never sick…so I’m working on empathy around our household. 🙂 Happy Tuesday, Janine. I’m off to my other job.

    • Janine says

      Aw, we are better finally and fingers crossed it stays that way. Definitely though also wishing you a wonderful Tuesday at your other job now, too!! 🙂

  9. Kelly says

    Ugh! the worst part of being a stay at home mom is when Mom gets sick. I always ask my husband to call in, but he never does- unless he is the one sick!

  14. Diane Roark says

    Hey lady,

    You are hilarious but oh so true. We definitely have the man flu. Moms never get a sick day while dad’s cannot move off the couch at all.

    Go Figure!
    Thanks for making me feel not alone.
    Daine

  15. Liz says

    Had to laugh at “Now it is clearly bedtime as he is by all appearance very much sound asleep, snoring and still so very sick though.” I remember about a year after my daughter was born my husband and I both got hit with the worst food poisoning. Still when it was time to pick her up, who walked 20 blocks to the daycare, bookending arrival and departure with a vomiting session. That’s right, me.

  16. Jack says

    The problem is that women don’t get sick like men. Science has proven that our illnesses are 987 times as bad as yours, so what is a guy to do. 😉

  17. Tamara says

    haha, I’m laughing! I usually don’t like to poke fun at any sex, but the man flu thing seems real. Cassidy is sick right now, to be honest. He does things for himself and whatnot but when I was a kid, a cold meant I still went to school. He once took three days off of work for a cold with no fever.
    Oh, if only.

  18. Amanda || Growing Up Madison says

    I can’t stop laughing because that’s exactly how it is in my house too. I just think that us women are made of stronger stuff than men are. I get sick and I still do everything that has to be done but if my husband gets sick it’s the end of the world and he’s about to die. 😀 It’s great when they do step up to the plate though. Madison had an almost 105 fever last night and we both stayed up to take care of her until after 4am this morning and he had to be at work at 8.

    • Janine says

      Aw, I hope Madison is OK and Emma runs high fevers like that. We aren’t new to it, but still scary when it happens. Thinking of you and hoping Madison is better very soon now!!

  19. catherine gacad says

    you are so funny. actually your husband is funny, but how you write about him had me cracking up. i’ve been sick and haven’t been myself lately, but oh well, motherhood must go on!

    • Janine says

      Aw, I hope he reads this and sure he would love you for calling him funny. But still, hope you are feeling better still, Catherine 😉

  20. Jayme says

    Oh my goodness! I’m trying to not laugh out loud. My husband is such a hypochondriac (his doctor actually called him that!) He will work through a cold, but if he stubs a toe or gets a headache, I hear endless days of “Do you think x could be causing this? Do you think its serious? Would drinking water help? Would it be better if I stayed warm or cold? Will it be okay to eat peanut butter even if I have a broken toe?”

    This is the thoughtful guy that worried about going into the OR with me for my C-section because “his legs might hurt if he had to stand too long. ” 😀

    To be fair though, he will step up to the plate when needed and run errands for me. But it sure can be frustrating at times! I feel your sorrow. We gals don’t get much of a break!

    • Janine says

      Jayme, your husband and mine sound like they could be fast friends as mine also has a bit of hypochondria, too where the slightest illness makes him think that it might be the onslaught of something far worse. And you are so right we girls do need a break now and again! 😉

  21. Carrie Groneman says

    Oh Janine, truer words were never spoken, even in jest!:) I love your story, though regrettably I’ve lived it way too many times myself. Dad’s do step in, when they are feeling better, of course, lol. Thanks for the giggle and always your tongue-in-cheek delightful humor. I just love your posts!!!

  23. Bev says

    Haha, I can relate! I tease my husband all the time when he gets sick. He’ll take a sick day and lay in bed all day when he has as cold. My day continues on as usual when I have one!

  24. Dana says

    My husband will certainly step up to the plate if I’m not feeling well. But when he gets sick , he is in bed for 24 hours, and completely useless!

  25. Allie says

    The world stops spinning when my husband gets sick. Seriously! But when I’m sick, I need to suck it up, and keep things a float.

  26. Jen says

    Oh the dreaded man-flu! It just might end humanity…. If they could convince us that they are that sick. Last week I was really sick and did just what he would do. Went and closed the door and let him deal. Hopefully the next time he gets sick, he won’t be such a baby.

  27. Kenya G. Johnson says

    That was hilarious! And mom gets up to get kids ready for school and goes outside to stand in freezing temps while she’s sick while dad is oblivious that wake up alarms have gone off. LOL! And of course the kids get sick because they haven’t been kept away from us. This reminds me, it’s really start time to take my Spring allergy medicine, though we aren’t contagious we all get sick if we don’t get a head start. I SMELL spring here even though it’s cold right now.

    • Janine says

      Kenya, I want to smell Spring more than you know and I guess we just have to have hope now!! Thanks for the reminder that it will hopefully get it here soon enough and for tweeting once again, too! 🙂

  28. Kim says

    I tend to keep going when I am sick; it’s just something I’ve always done. I don’t want to admit defeat, I guess. But my husband is very helpful and actually enjoys cooking so often he will kick me out of the kitchen if I am not feeling well with instructions to go nap. Who am I to say no? 🙂

  30. Kristi Campbell says

    LOL Janine! For real, I was LOLing this whole post because YES. If I’m sick, my husband is like “sorry you don’t feel well” but when he’s sick? The world is ending because he CANNOT MOVE. LOL haha. So true.

  32. Tiffany @ A Touch of Grace says

    HAHA yes! This is so true Janine! Men are such babies about being sick I swear. Well, most men, not all. My dad never complained when he was sick.
    Thanks for sharing at the Shine Blog Hop!

  35. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    My husband is the sweetest and almost always works from home when I am sick so that I can get a break.

  36. April G says

    Please, for a slight cold, my husband is worked on his butt for days while I haven’t had a day off in four years, unless it coincides with a day he’s off (like a Saturday). LOL.

  37. Rea says

    LOL! I do feel like my husband is like that too. He will rule the bed for the entire day when he is “sick”.. LOL. But to be fair, in cases when I’m sick, he’d take care of me too like I have a man cold/ or man flu.

  38. Rosey says

    Oh my gosh Janine. You ain’t a kiddin’ I remember those days well. And I hated to get too sick to get out of bed (which does happen to us gals every blue moon too) because nothing would get done. So annoying/aggravating/ridiculous. I’m getting irked just thinking about it, lol. That being said, my little one is sick today. 🙁 Something’s def. in the air.

  39. Christine Carter says

    OH my gosh JANINE!!! I was laughing and nodding all the way through this!! You NAILED IT!! I bet you kept the day moving along just fine, didn’t ya? Now, will your husband read this? I honestly make fun of mine to his face, so I’m sure with how close you two seem, he probably can chuckle at the truth in this. I HOPE SO!

    I could have written this post. Seriously. 🙂

  40. lisacng @ expandng.com says

    Nice that your husband is good sport in this post. My husband might not find it has amusing. But I totally agree that men feel like they’re dying when they’re sick. Guess we just hide it better. The question is, can I break the cycle with my son? Or am I inadvertently raising a “i have a cold, i’m dying” man just because he has his dad as a role model??

  41. Aunt Gloria says

    I know that you were jesting somewhat and it was fun to read…..but I also think there is much truth to the “man cold” syndrome. I guess underneath it all the guys are still kids looking for special attention. Just keep well….all of you. Spring is on the way! Lots of love….xxoo

    • Janine says

      Aw, thanks Aunt Gloria and just couldn’t agree more. Also, Spring is indeed on its way hopefully soon though now. Love to you, too xoxo

  43. Tamara says

    It’s a guys’ thing. We probably won’t understand.
    There is a reason why God decided to entrust women with the mom job from going through pregnancy, giving birth, nursing until raising and letting go of their babies. Men are too busy surviving the flu 😉

  44. karen says

    just had to deal with this yet again. Tony slept in bed for three whole days!!! While I did everything… I posed a great side by side photo comparing a woman’s cold to a man’s cold…Going to make that my profile pic every time I am sick.

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