“You need to let me go to the door and ring the bell, because I don’t believe you that they aren’t home.”
That was me back when I was a little girl around the same age as Lily was and not believing my mom when she told me that my grandparents went away for the weekend.
Back then, my grandparents (my mom’s parents) were a constant presence in my life and if my mom wasn’t there, then it was my grandmother and grandfather who took care of me.
Me with My Grandparents Back in the Day
So stands to reason that I couldn’t believe nor did I want to believe that they weren’t there to spend time with on that particular weekend.
I did indeed make my way up the steps and rang the doorbell. I found rather quickly that they were definitely not home and had gone away for a long weekend, when no one answered the door.
Eventually, they returned home and I truly don’t recall many other times that they weren’t there when I needed them over the years.
And I truly never envisioned or wanted to think of a time where they wouldn’t be there as I got older.
But unfortunately, kids including myself grow up and eventually even my immortal grandparents in my little girl mind aged to the point that first we lost my grandfather to a broken hip (he never recovered from this and passed away 2 weeks after on Valentine’s Day 1999).
My Grandmother and I in 2006 at My Wedding
My beloved grandmother outlived him by 11 years. I watched my once strong and resilient grandmother become frail, aging for those 11 years until, she too left us on February 3, 2010, eleven days shy of the 11 anniversary of my grandfather’s passing.
I never in a million years back as a kid would have thought that I would ever live a day without being with them physically and yet now I know different.
The pain I felt for both these loses was indescribable and yet when I first began to read Ava Chin’s, Eating Wildly – Foraging for Life, Love and the Perfect Meal, I somehow was brought back as she beautifully and poetically recalled her childhood, which ironically I felt paralleled my own.
See, Ava grew up in Queens, NY as did I. She had a very strong and powerful bond with her maternal grandparents, as did I. Her earliest memories of spending much of her free time with them learning firsthand what love was, made me recall how my grandparents also taught me this lesson from as far back as I could remember.
Ava Chin – Author of Eating Wildly
I always said I wanted to have a love like theirs. They met during the Great Depression as did Ava’s grandparents and not only did they have a great love for each other, but my mother (their only child) was their world, as was my brother and myself (their only grandchildren). This again was all similar to how Ava described her own grandparents and their relationships with their kids and grandkids, too.
My Grandparents Had a Love That I Truly Looked Up To
My grandfather was even quoted, when describing me as “Shades of Valeria!”, which was his mother, who was known to be a strong and loud woman. Yes, I was definitely this and so much more as a teen.
I loved knowing that they loved me so and always made me so proud to know that I came from these amazingly, loving people, as I felt Ava also depicted from how she shared similar emotions about her own feelings of her grandparents, as well.
So, as I was reading Ava’s book and she was sharing her amazing connection to her two wonderful grandparents,I just couldn’t help, but relate and smile recalling The above memory and so many more moments I was lucky enough to share with both my grandmother and grandfather, too over the years.
And like Ava, it took me quite sometime to heal and find my way after losing the two people that I considered my heroes in more ways then one.
Ava took to foraging and actually living off the foliage and flora in NYC. I seriously was impressed and amazed by her discoveries and how she turned a simple tart into an award winning dish by the end of this book by learning the ins and out of foraging along with meeting the great love of her life that Ava admits her grandmother especially would have approved of.
I can tell you that I was thankful that my own grandmother not only got to meet, but love my husband, Kevin and first born, Emma, too. I would also like to believe in my heart of hearts she helped to give me Lily,which happened shortly after her passing, as well as that my grandfather was smiling down on me from heaven through all of my adventures after his death, including falling in love with and marrying Kevin to having both my girls and so much more, as well.
Like Ava, my grandparents will always be a forever part of me and in my heart even if they aren’t physically here anymore. They helped to shape and mold me into who I am. For that and so much more, I am forever grateful, blessed and thankful that they were mine.
I knew this in my heart of hearts, but can’t thank Ava enough for allowing me to read and review her book, which put so much of this into perspective for me, as well as, for getting to share in her own heart warming autobiographical story.
Can’t say enough how this is a must read and believe that anyone who does indeed read her book will be that much better off that they did also.
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massholemommy says
I only have one grandmother left. Both of my dad's parents are gone, but I was never close to them growing up.
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Janine Huldie says
Robin, all of mine are indeed gone now and I was closer with my mom's parents, because they lived with us as I got older and saw them pretty much everyday of my life.
tamaralikecamera says
My paternal grandparents were like this to me. And my maternal grandmother is still alive and my grandfather passed away two years ago. I feel very protective of my kids having six HEALTHY grandparents that they'll grow up knowing.
So far, so good! I could just cry thinking about how much I miss mine.
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Janine Huldie says
Tamara, i do cry sometimes thinking about them and I miss them terribly. I am definitely better know then when it first happened each time, but still they will always have a piece of my heart, always!
Rosey says
Awww, I felt the same about my grandparents, and they were a constant fixture in my life too. I laughed at you marching up to ring the doorbell when they were gone for the weekend. I could see it, hahaha. 🙂
It's the weekend, Janine, woohoo! Have a lovely!
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Janine Huldie says
Aww, thanks Rosey and I will never forget this, plus my mom has told me this story so many times that it is etched in my brain. Crazy weekend here with a bridal shower, wedding (not the same couple) and end of soccer for the season. I am taking amino blogging break to get through for the weekend, but will be back on Monday. Hope you have a great one, too 🙂
dishofdailylife says
My kids have an amazing bond with my in laws…I am sure in part because they live so close to us (next door). They've been a constant presence in their lives. I love watching that relationship.
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Janine Huldie says
Michelle, that is how we were with my grandparents and now also how my girls are with theirs, because we share a home with my parents and Kevin's parents live only 5 minutes away, too 🙂
dianeroark says
Janine,
Thank you for sharing Ava's book and this beautiful story about your grandparents. Well said and BEAUTIFUL! My family was not close to any of my grandparents. My husband's mom died when he was a teenager and my father too died when I was in my early 20's. My father's sister help raise me and 3 siblings. She is now in her late 80's and going down fast. I dread the day when we get a call. I know their is a season for everything and I look forward to being a grandparent one day. I truly miss this time with my grandparents and cannot wait to hopefully one day be the best grandma ever.
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Janine Huldie says
Diane, I think (knowing you pretty well now) that you will be the best grandmother ever. Seriously though, this book was such a wonderful read and Ava was so down to earth in all she shared about her life and upbringing, too. Hope you get to read this book when you get a chance!! 🙂
lizzy allan says
Oh Janine, this is such a beautiful post. I also feel very blessed to have known my maternal grandparents well and to have been loved by them while I was growing up and I love seeing my own parents with my children. Isn't it wonderful when we find a book that we feel such a strong connection with? I'm really interested now to read Ava's book.
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Janine Huldie says
Lizzy, I am so glad you could relate to my article today having also had. Strong relationship with your maternal grandparents, as well and do hope you get to read Ava’s book and think you would totally enjoy it, too 🙂
probablycraftin says
I can relate. I spent most of my childhood at my grandparents house. If I wasn't with my parents I was with them. It seemed they would always be there. It's been 6 years now since we lost both of them in the same year 6 months apart and it's still hard to not pick up the know and call them. I'm thankful my kids have that with my parents and will have many wonderful memories of them when they get older.
Janine Huldie says
Thank you so much for sharing with today that you too had this type of relationship with your grandparents and I know exactly why you mean and still can't believe I just can't talk to them one more time myself (no matter how many years each have been gone), but like you I am so thankful my girls are this close with my parents now, as well 🙂
Billybuc says
A lovely tribute to your grandparents, Janine. I loved reading about them and how much they meant to you.
Have a wonderful Friday my dear.
Janine Huldie says
Aww, thank you so much Bill and I will say I credit so much of who I am today to them, because they were always there for me no matter what. Have a great weekend now, too!! 🙂
Pure Grace Farms says
My grandparent passed on when I was quite young and I feel like I missed out on so much! Thanks for sharing some of your special moments!
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Janine Huldie says
So happy to been able to share and I feel so guilty that even though I had such great memories and a lot of time with then, I still wish for more many days.
lisang@expandng.com says
What a special relationship you had with your grandparents!! I can only wish that my children will have that, even if we only see them once in a while. Oh, and that cardstore video totally made me cry!
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Janine Huldie says
Aww, so sorry the video made you cry, but I am sure your kids will have wonderful relationship with your parents seeing all the pictures and stories, you too have shared 🙂
day-with-kt.com says
Great book review and even better the sharing of your grandparents!!
I think we've discussed before how close I was to my grandparents and how very much they meant to me!! The end of August will be the one year anniversary for losing my grandpa:(
Janine Huldie says
Aww, hugs to you and I am totally thinking of you and your loss, too, Kim 🙂
Rea Alducente says
My paternal grandparents played a big role in my childhood years — not so much now though because we very rarely see each other as we live far away. But I loved them to bits. Grandparents are always amazing! Only my 2 grandmothers got to meet my husband and son though because my grandfathers already passed away. Inspiring to know your relationship to your grandparents Janine! 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Aww, thank you Rea for also sharing about your grandparents here today, too 🙂
April (@100LBC) says
Beautiful. I wish I could relate, but those were all just dreams of mine. I think those marriages lasted because they knew real hard times and knew that the other was there with them for the long haul. I’ll add this book to my good reads list!
Janine Huldie says
Aww, so happy you will add this to read and let me know what you think when you do read 🙂
The Dose of Reality says
Oh, I adore the photo of your grandfather…and the photo of you and your grandmother on your wedding day is simply beautiful!! Your love for them is so apparent! It just flows right out of your beautiful words! I love the way you described the book. I'm definitely ordering it! –Lisa
Janine Huldie says
Aww, thank you Lisa for all your kind words about my grandparents and really just adored them and always will. And yay to getting Ava's book and think you are truly going to love it!! 🙂
ginnymarie says
My grandparents lived in a different state, and we visited each other when we could. I never knew my dad's parents since both of them died before I was born. I love reading about your grandparents! What a neat relationship you had with them! What a great comparison to this book. It looks really interesting, and it also sounds like you have a lot in common with the author!
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Janine Huldie says
Christa, I honestly loved how Ava’s book did make me reflect a bit on my past relationship with both my grandparents. She really has a way with telling her story and drawing the reader right into her fabulous book 🙂
christyb says
Awe, how precious to learn about your grandparents. I adored my grandma and grandpa and they left this Earth too soon. I treasure my memories with them, just as you do with your grandparents xo
Janine Huldie says
Aww Christy, I am so sorry you too lost your grandparents and hugs your way tonight my friend.
pfchico says
Very sweet. I remember spending a lot of time with my grandparents as a child as well. It makes me sad that my daughter will never know what this is like.
Janine Huldie says
I know totally makes me sad that my girls will never know my grandparents either.
Sandy_Ramsey says
This post has me remembering my grandparents and so many memories we made with them. It's wonderful how lovingly you write about them and I'm sure they are both very, very proud of the woman and mother you are today! Thank you for the introduction to a new book, too. You know I always look forward to that!
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Janine Huldie says
My pleasure Sandy and if you read it let me know what you think 🙂
Kenya G. Johnson says
This was a beautiful post Janine. Thanks for the recommendation. My grandmother I only had in my life for 11 years but she made such a big impact on my life and we didn't even live in the same state. My grandfather got to meet my husband but not Christopher. I always say he met Christopher and played with him in heaven until it was time for me to be a mom.
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Janine Huldie says
Aww, I love that you say that about your grandfather and will say that I would love to be able to say that about my grandfather with both the girls, too 🙂
Brittnei Washington says
Aww Janine, you just have been full of all sorts of emotions reading this. I was very close to my grandmothers on both sides growing up. I have been away from them since I went to school and even more so now since we've been living in Arizona. They both live in NJ. It feels nice to know I would have a lot of positive memories of them from when I was younger. It would be hard for me to try to imagine them any other way if they did leave us. 🙁
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Janine Huldie says
Aww, Brittnei I am glad to hear your grandparents are indeed still with us and that you have a wonderful relationship with your grandmothers 🙂
gigigirl says
I know how much Adele and Dom loved you and Michael. You were very lucky to have such a close relationship with them. Nanny's mother lived with us, and it was nice to have the relationshhip. This was a lovely tribute to your grandparents. I know they are looking down on you and are very pleased that you have made such a good life for yourself. I know they loved Kevin. And they love the girls, even though they are no longer here. Ava's book sounds interesting……and I am fascinated about her foraging for food in NYC! That's an accomplishment. Love and xxxxoooo
Janine Huldie says
Aunt Gloria, I knew you would get Ava's book on more levels then one and will say that I couldn't help, but read her book and be fascinated by her open and giving spirit in sharing about her grandparents, which again reminded me of my own and of her foraging ways in NYC after we have grown up and lived there ourselves. Hope you get to look into her book if you have time and think you too would enjoy it a great deal. Love you and xoxo!! 🙂
Karen says
sniffles, I totally understand how you feel about your grandparents. I wish I had my grandma for longer, I lost her when I was nine and there ws so much I needed from her. I hope Dino has TONS of time with my parents. sniffles….
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Janine Huldie says
Trust me I know and I look at my parents now, Karen and many of these thoughts go through my mind quite often, too.
spiritedlife says
I am working diligently to have my kids have this relationship. I only had a relationship with one of my grandparents, even though by step marriages, I have four sets! My children will thankfully have a much better relationship! Thanks for sharing with Creative Style!
Janine Huldie says
So happy I could share and sending good thoughts your way that your kids will indeed have this relationship, too 🙂
cgacad says
beautiful memories you have, janine. i love the pictures of you and your grandparents.
Janine Huldie says
Thank you so much Catherine and just so glad to have such great memories still 🙂