I came home to write today during the peace and quiet that 2 and 1/2 hours that pre-school time for my girls allow me. Well, by the time I drop them off and then come home it is more like an 1 and 1/2, but still this is my time.
I set the time from 1 pm to 2:30 pm in the afternoons for writing or blog designs/transfers depending on what I have on tap for the day.
This day for the October Daily challenge is supposed to be about how I would define happiness, but right about now for some strange reason all I can come up with is the Beatles song and how they think happiness is like a warm gun.
Trust me I don’t think that at all, but the song is totally playing in my head still. Plus, my mommy guilt is running overtime, because when I dropped off Lily her teachers had a last minute signup sheet for helpers for today pumpkin picking in the back of the pre-school in the playground.
We have known it was pumpkin picking day for weeks now and even sent in the money as soon as the notice went out, but not once in all this time has anyone said they needed volunteers.Girls Picking Pumpkins
When I asked, I stood there wanting to say yes, because I would (even though we have done pumpkin picking THREE times in the last few weeks with both girls) have loved to have seen her do this with her classmates, but I had tons on to do for my blog and also J9 Designs. So desperately needed to catch up, because I know once they come home today, we will have homework, dinner and even then yes I would still like to sit and relax with them, too.
So, I literally made the grown-up decision that I needed to go home and work instead of staying to be a class mother volunteer to see Lily pick her fourth pumpkin this year so far.
See here is the thing that upset me the most, if I would have been told that they needed me even yesterday, I would have stayed up late last night, wrote and caught up here a bit instead of signing off early last night But telling me last minute was truly the worst and made me feel like I didn’t have time for my own child (by the way no one said this once, but just the way I internalized it).
The truth is I do have time all day, all week long when they are home with me other then those 2 and 1/2 hours. I am here and even though I may be checking on the computer or my phone from time to time, I am here. I am mommy and their primary care giver from 8 am to 6:30/7pm most nights while Kevin works.
A few have joked that I am like superwoman, but really I am not and just a mom trying her best to be here for her girls, but also make a few extra dollars with the two websites I run to support them and hopefully give them a few extras that my husband’s salary couldn’t.
We are by no means poor and Kevin makes a good salary, but in this day and age, logistically you need two incomes. Living and raising kids is not cheap. I saw a figure recently that it costs over $300.000 to raise a child from birth through college.
That is truly insane, but trust me I still would do anything for my kids and it is up to Kevin and I to provide, but still today I felt like a crappy mom who couldn’t be there to see my kid pick a pumpkin at pre-school.
Happiness was the last thing I felt when I first started writing this and then I started looking at the pictures I wanted to share of the pumpkin picking we have indeed done this year and the faces smiling back at me made me happy to know that they are mine.Photo Edited PicMonkey Halloween Pumpkin Picking Photo
So even though I couldn’t be there today, because I made this choice to work from home to be here and not have them in daycare. If I did work out of the home, I have to remind myself, that I wouldn’t be there for this and so much more. So this has to count for something.
Sorry for being a downer on “Happiness” post topic, but this is what just came to mind.
By the way, later this day after this incident happened, I was e-mailed by someone if I would share this adorable concept here with my viewers.
I viewed it, my day got that much brighter and a bit happier from it.
I knew it was fate that it was sent to me after very down day from all of this.
I even mentioned that to the contact person and said I was more then happy to pass this onto my readers to share the joy and happiness that it gave to me.
So please take a look at the Happiness Generator below, which shows adorable animals with a push of a button and was hoping it would help all beat the Tuesday slumps today.
Click image to open interactive version (via Two Little Fleas).
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