It started off like any other weekend morning here. We were lounging a bit in my bed. Actually, it was a rather relaxing morning. I should have realized with kids there really is no such thing.
But still, I was smug in the fact that it was indeed the weekend and a bit more relaxed than most mornings.
And that’s when it happened. My breath and the wind was actually simultaneously knocked out of me.
This little voice spoke up. The voice of what I still see as my innocent 7 year old asked a question I didn’t see coming from the proverbial mile away. I mean she’s only 7. Seriously I am pretty sure I didn’t think about this until I was quite a bit older myself.
That is when she asked “the question”. You know what I mean. And just like that the s*it got real!
Here it comes….
“Mommy, where do babies come from?”
I hadn’t even had my morning cup of coffee yet. So, definitely wasn’t even fully awake yet. But in hindsight, glad I was actually sipping said coffee as I may very well have choked on it or spit it out all over the place. Either way a big mess would have been made.
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Yet, here it was the question I most certainly have been dreading.
How may you ask did I handle this?
I would like to say gracefully. But probably not.
Because in that very raw moment, I chose to downplay it. See I wasn’t prepared nor ready.
That’s right, I told her as innocently as possible that babies not unlike herself as a baby in the past come from their mother’s bellies.
That seemed to quiet her questions. But still, I knew it only bought me some time.
Because I know she will be back and this will not be the end of that question by any means.
Why? Simply because she is growing up. That answer may be enough for now. But as she does age, she will most likely have more questions—many more questions.
So, I need to man up now to prepare for the inevitable.
Here is my advice to myself on handling the birds and the bees talk…
3 Tips to My Future Self When Having The Talk with Both My Girls
1. Keep calm.
That’s right. After my not so subtle initial response, I now know I have to remain calm when the time does come that my young girl has more questions. Because she needs to know that she can count on me. See she needs to be confident that I will be honest, as well as feel that she can indeed confide in me about this and so much more as she needs.
2. Open my ears and listen, too.
While I can talk and explain her concerns and questions, I also need to hear what she thinks she knows, too. Because let’s face it that her friends may know certain things. So, therefore she may very well have heard something from them and have her own ideas about sex, her body and more.
3. Be encouraging not closed off.
Again this goes with being relaxed and prepared. But still I want my both my daughters (younger and older) to feel that they can ask me anything. I don’t want them to be embarrassed or scared to come to me about sex or anything for that matter. So when they do inevitably come to me about this in the future, I plan on answering them with an age appropriate and honest answer. Plus, if I am not sure of something will let know that. But will also look it up if that is the case.
I know the above advice to myself will be tested when the time comes. Still I am hopeful that these three easy steps will help to foster better communication for my girls and myself for The Talk that is inevitable. I mean after all it is just a life lesson, I suppose.