This Mom's Confessions

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I See Boobies~It’s Okay!!

Filed Under: Crazyiness, Kids Posts Tagged With: , , ,

For years, I haven’t thought twice about it. I mean they are little and they are girls, too. And are the same sex as me.

They Are Just Little Girls!!

They Are Just Little Girls!!

So, when I have gotten undressed to take a shower or just change in the morning or at night, I have always changed in front of both of my girls.

It never seemed to phase them before. My husband has always made sure to change when they aren’t around and to lock the bathroom door when he is in their for either the use of the toilet or showering, because after all he is a guy and they are little girls, who don’t have the same parts as him (as he puts it to them if asked). He has always been of the mindset that he is not ready to explain this to them just yet and leaves it at that.

But for me, like I said I am the same sex as my girls and we do have the same body parts, so it really never dawned on me to do this in private. I am not into voyeurism, but I am home taking care of them all day long, all the time, so again they are just with me pretty much 24-7.

But then, one night recently, I was changing out of my clothes to put on my shorts and t-shirt for bed in my bedroom. The kids were on my bed playing with my iPad. As I was changing out of my bra, I heard Lily say, “Boobies! I see boobies!”

And as she was saying this, she was giggling and twirling her little fingers on both hands as though she wanted to grab or pinch them.

I stood there in shock for a moment and couldn’t believe she knew that word or had even took note that I was topless.

Seriously, this was the first time she had ever made mention or noticed. So, of course, I was totally taken aback.

I quickly got myself composed, dressed and exited the room. The kids were still in there again playing with my iPad. Once I was dressed again, Lily just returned to playing with said iPad and Emma.

I went into Kevin and as I was now not in there presence, I exhaled and found myself hysterical laughing. Just the thought of her saying this word and her physical reaction with her little hands just got me for some reason.

Kevin had no clue why I was laughing and when I finally caught my breath and stopped, I retold the story as to what just occurred. He, too, ended up laughing.

However, I know this is probably not funny to all, but for some reason it just was to us, especially for the fact she just did this without thinking. It was so natural to her.

See she is again only 2 1/2 years old and so innocent. She doesn’t know right from wrong and didn’t get that this might be something she shouldn’t say.

In a perfect world, I probably would have tried to sit down and explain this to her, but again even though she knew the word, I truly believe she is too little to understand exactly what they are or even what she was doing. She definitely doesn’t know that this is a taboo subject or that women don’t walk around with their shirts off for the most part.

I do believe it was harmless and just her natural reaction. But in the end, I am now am just more vigilant and careful when I do change. If Kevin is home, I don’t do this with the kids in the room with me and if he isn’t I make sure to do this when they are not in the same room or otherwise occupied by cartoons or playing with their toys.

I know there with come a day when I will have to explain all this to both my girls, but right now I am so not ready nor do I think they really are either. So, for the time being, I will leave it as I have been. But couldn’t help, but over-share here today and wondering what others would have done in my shoes. Please feel free to share in the comments. Thanks!!

However for now though, It’s Okay to get changed when my girls are not in the room and save the explanations for later.

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. massholemommy says

    See, I have 2 boys, so I don't change or shower in front of them and I never have. They have both shown interest in my "boobies", but I tellt them that it's private and we just left it at that.
    My recent post The Jenney Grist Mill

    • Janine Huldie says

      Yeah, having girls they do everything with me, including the bathroom, so I never even thought twice until this. But if I had boys I am sure it would have been much different for me on this.

  2. Eddy says

    This post leaves much food for thought and very thought provoking. I think I was a little on the reserved side when changing in front of the little ones but I know that my daughters are very relaxed and the little ones do not bat an eyelid any more. So here are two different approaches from me. I thin k we should all go with what we are most comfortable with. After all our children are also of different characters and the way one accepts it can be at different ends of the line to the other child.
    Another wonderful read Janine and lots of love as always from Wales.
    Eddy.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thank you Eddy for your take on this and very much appreciate hearing what you have to say. I never even thought twice until this happened, but I guess she is just growing up and a bit inquisitive now about this. Sending you lots of love too and wishing you a wonderful day, as well!

  3. lrconsiderer says

    Ohhhh that's HILARIOUS (and I notice the distinct lack of pics today, Janine 😉 ) I think you're right to leave off the explanation for now, and just quietly change in a more circumspect manner – they'll get the idea through your actions, and it sounds like the right time to make the change 🙂

    I once had veryshort hair, and a friend's 4 y/o granddaughter was convinced I was now a boy. I took her out swimming one day, and once we were in our bathing suits, she stared hard at my chest and then suddenly commented "Oh, you ARE a girl" It was all I could do not to die laughing.
    My recent post Don't call me precious

    • Janine Huldie says

      I know it really was quite funny Lizzi, but you are so right the explanation I do think can wait until she is a bit older. It is funny you ay that about short hair, because when I was about 3 years old my mom cut my hair on the shorter side in hopes of it growing in thicker (on a side not it worked, because at 36 my hair is thicker then ever!). My hair did grow back a bit and about a year later, I saw the picture of myself and asked, "Was that when I was a boy?" My mom said she nearly died laughing how innocently and cutely I asked, but I think you get it kids really have no filter and will just say whatever they think even if they don't quite understand or get it!

  4. Dani Ryan says

    My daughter is attached to me all the time, so peeing in front of her and getting changed in front of her isn't really an option, but once she starts calling out my parts, I will be locking that door…hysterical crying and all. 😉 The boobies thing made me laugh, too, by the way!!!
    My recent post Not all moments need to be enjoyed

    • Janine Huldie says

      Dani, I know I felt the same way when Lily started saying this. In that moment, I was like there is no way she is coming near me while I am in the bathroom or undressing to change. Bathroom is still harder to side step still, but changing I have totally made a more conscious effort after this. But glad to have made you laugh because to be honest that was so my reaction and thought, "Oh god, I should be reacting this way", but still was kind of funny to me.

  5. Kristi Campbell says

    HAHA! I think it's funny! My four-year old recently came up to me, poked my boob and said "beep!" Inside I was saying "WTF?" but outside I just said "we don't touch people there." UGH. I dread the day we have to explain it to them for real! In the meantime, really hilarious story, Janine!

    • Janine Huldie says

      So true Kristi and logically I told her this isn't nice, but damned if like I said I didn't have to walk away first to compose myself from giggling. So, I felt I had to share, but was hoping that people would so see the humor in this and not just that she was saying something dirty or rude, because again although yes she shouldn't be saying this coming out of her not even 3 year old little mouth was indeed humorous to say the least.

  6. heathero626 says

    I would say that of course it's okay! My girls were always with me when they were little, so they would follow me into the bathroom, while I was changing clothes… and I did explain a lot to them, in little kid terms. I remember explaining my period to my 3 year old — she popped into the bathroom while I was in there, and before I could hide anything, she asked why I was bleeding. I gave a very vague overview of "this happens when you're a grown lady, and it means that your body is able to have babies". She was satisfied and moved right on to something else. I figure it's better to give a brief age-appropriate explanation than to have the girls wonder and try to come up with their own (likely incorrect) answers to the questions they have.

    But yes, I think it's perfectly okay that your girls noticed your boobies, and I think it's perfectly okay to push that discussion off until you feel comfortable having it! Whatever works for mom, works!
    My recent post InstaFriday – 9/13/13

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thank for saying that for sharing, too. I almost hesitated posting this and hoping people wouldn't think this was too much information to share, but it happened and felt I needed to share (if that makes sense). And I really appreciate your kind words and friendship always, too!! 🙂

  7. Billybuc says

    Too funny! It is never boring raising kids….maddening at times…exhausting all the time….but never boring. 🙂 Thanks for sharing the laugh with us and have a great Wednesday.

    • Janine Huldie says

      I know Bill definitely not boring with young kids ever and I was happy to share a bit off humor with you and all this morning. Have a wonderful Wednesday now, too!! 🙂

    • Janine Huldie says

      Kim, I have to thank you so much again for linking to my article and it is so interesting that we had this same thought and blog idea today. And I will be honest again never really thought of this until recently when Lily verbalized this. My husband would never dare change in front of them, because he is a man and they are little girls, but being the same sex and being the one that primarily potty trained both, it really was like second nature to me up until this point. I guess sometimes we just have to take stuff like this one step at a time if that makes sense.

  11. writermomangela says

    I have a boy and a girl, my daughter never paid much attention to when I was changing, but my son has no sense of anyone else's modesty and barges in and out regardless of closed doors or that someone is changing. Heaven forbid he forget to take his PJ's in the bathroom when he showers though because he is NOT about to come out of that bathroom until someone brings him something to put on!
    My recent post 5 Signs you may spend too much time in yoga pants

    • Janine Huldie says

      Angela, my girls haven't gotten tot hat age, but when they have to poop, both will now ask me to leave them alone for privacy in the bathroom as of recent times. Yet, they want to be all up in my space when I am doing this and so much more. So go figure and can truly relate!

  12. tiffanigoff says

    I think it is a good idea to change in front of your girls because later it will lead to a natural way to discuss their changing bodies. To be honest my father always changed in front of us and my husband does the same.
    My recent post The violence continues…

    • Janine Huldie says

      Tiffani, thank you for saying that and your rational does make sense. I know my husband is just more modest and uncomfortable indeed being a different sex then them, but your husband's thoughts on this do make sense and bring some validity to this issue. Thanks again!! 🙂

  13. tamaralikecamera says

    haha, no it IS funny! I think nothing of changing in front of Des because he is so small, however, I wonder how that will change in a year or two. My daughter knows all about "boobies" and why we have them and she thinks they're pretty cool but every once in awhile, she'll yell out, "I have boobies!" And it's funny and cute to a point, but then I remember how emotionally painful adolescence was for me and how I didn't really "have boobies" when other girls did. I don't want her to want them..yet. Ya know? Of course I'm reading way into it and maybe she will be much more fine (more much fine!) than I was. Everything in due time, I guess.
    My recent post Test Shots.

    • Janine Huldie says

      So not totally over thinking this, because I remember wanting to be more developed at a certain age and have a feeling Emma is going to be like me with this, because she is petite like I was for most of my life. So, it would seem at least one of my girls might not develop as quickly and I know how I felt at this age, so not looking forward to navigating this with either of my girls. And I know it just does seem so natural to undress in front of them, I mean I am with them all day long, so I truly didn't think twice either!! Thanks Tamara, definitely needed to hear from you and others that it isn't just me!! 🙂

  14. NuggetOnABudget says

    Lol this made me laugh! I totally do the same thing in front of Sofia and I've never cared before. I even go to the bathroom in front of her because she follows me everywhere. RJ, on the other hand, like Kevin, closes the bathroom door when he's in there! Sofia has said to him before ~ "Daddy, what's that?" Haha. I totally think it's funny that Lily called you out when you were getting dressed. Definitely a story to tell in the future! xoxo
    My recent post it's okay #6.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Kera, I am so glad it isn't just me who never gave this a second thought before and see I knew RJ and Kevin were alike in many ways, but this just proved it to me. And so glad to have shared and that you found this funny, because like I said to a few previous commenters, I couldn't help but giggle a bit with this one and then thought oh god I probably shouldn't have laughed, but it was funny in the moment if that makes sense. And knew I had to link this up with you!! 🙂 xoxo!!

      • NuggetOnABudget says

        We should live closer to each other because I know that we would all enjoy getting together! I'm glad that you linked up this post to It's Okay this week too, it definitely was a good one to read. And hope your Wednesday is going well so far, too! xoxo

      • Janine Huldie says

        I so wish we lived closer, because I would seriously love to see you more and get to hang with us and the kids. I do think we would have so much fun. And I was truly happy to link this up today and like I said would have been yesterday, but I had to co-host the PinCentive Blog Hop. So, as long a day late isn't terrible, I was so happy to join in!! 🙂

      • NuggetOnABudget says

        Definitely not terrible to link up a day late! The linky is open for a week, so even anytime during the week is okay to link up. Really, it's okay ~ lol 🙂 I'm thinking we need to make another trip to Long Island to visit sometime soon!

      • Janine Huldie says

        Aww, thanks for saying that, because I love linking up with you and was hoping you wouldn't think I forgot. And we would love to see you if you made another trip to Long Island in the near future. Seriously, need to meet Baby Eliana and my girls keep asking when they can see Sophia again, because they see her pictures when I reading your blog and just love her to pieces. And of course, we need to get some time to hang out all four of us again!! 🙂

  15. Kelly says

    Oh Janine…now my kids have said some stuff that is hilarious like that too! They are just noticing differences and giggling:). I wouldn't explain much of anything to her at that age…except that those are private parts that we don't show to anyone except the doctor.

    Recently I was dying laughing because I heard one of my kids friends singing this little song…it went something like, "NO! You can't touch me there…that's my NO NO square!" I didn't say a word. I seems like a good policy to me!

    • Janine Huldie says

      I think that does sound like a great policy Kelly and really love the song, too. But seriously thank you and might be just what I need to say if she does says this again. So very appreciated!!

  16. @Mrs_KarenC says

    too funny Janine. Dino has seen me naked quite a bit…as privacy is not something he gives to me, LOL. He wanted to know what they were and told him and said all mommies have them. He also asked why I didn't have a penis…I explained that mommies don't have those either. Both times he was okay with it…hopefully he will be okay with it for a while.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Karen, it sounds like you did a great job and better then my reaction of giggling like a middle schooler at her reaction. Granted I didn't do it to her face, but still I had to walk away someplace safe and just let my laughter out.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Dana and I think you are probably right, but at first I was thinking I might have to do things a bit differently. But seriously thanks for weighing in and really appreciate it!! 🙂

  18. @VioletImperfect says

    I change and go to the bathroom in front of Violet because she usually follows me around. She has shown a little bit of interest in my "boobies" but not anything big. My mom was always open with me, heck sometimes we share a changing room since we want to see each others outfits anyways lol

    • Janine Huldie says

      Leslie, my mom and I were the same way and still are. If I go shopping with her and we would totally share a dressing room no problem. So, like I said I never thought anything of it with my girls, but then Lily did this and I was double guessing myself. That is why I am so glad I posted this, because you and so many others, too made me realize I wasn't necessarily doing anything that wrong. God how I l thank you for that, because seriously I knew my blogger friends wouldn't let me down on this one!! 🙂

  19. stephanie2006 says

    That's hilarious, Janine! The girls have seen both of us naked, and are aware about the difference between boys and girls. That is just our way to teach them that the body is something natural and nothing to be ashamed of. We, however, had to have a talk with Lily when he started drawing an anatomically correct Ariel picture 😉
    My recent post Modern Cooking – Preserving For Winter

    • Janine Huldie says

      Must be a "Lily" thing!! But seriously, you are right it is absolutely normal, but see I had to verify it with my blog friends. So thank you Stephanie for confirming what I should have known!! 🙂

  20. Sara says

    I needed a good laugh. Kids are curious but I'm with you I don't want to have that convo with Collin yet. Basically he knows boys and girls are different because they have different parts to pee. When my niece was little my sister explained all the parts with proper names. My niece was so proud and told me boys have peanuts to pee. I died laughing!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Now, it is my turn, I needed a good laugh and thank you for that with your story of your niece, Sara. I guess it is just a kid thing Lily is totally normal!! 🙂

  21. lsdavidson says

    That is so cute – and funny! I remember when I had to stop to changing in front of my boys — one day they just seem to "realize stuff"!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Leah and I know it was pretty funny and glad I am not the only one who did see the humor in this. And if they were boys, I know that day would be coming probably sooner rather then later.

  23. MelChi says

    Hehehehe…. oh the joys of having kids and getting changed! Not that I have any, but my mom has told me some very interesting stories about what I used to say about things when I was around that age, LOL!! I think just about every family goes through something like this. Makes for good (and very embarresing) stories later in life!
    My recent post It’s the Little Things That Count….

    • Janine Huldie says

      I do agree on the later in life embarrassing stories. And from what I have been told, I too had my fair share, Mel. Thanks for sharing and happy to know it isn't just us!! 🙂

  24. Kenya G. Johnson says

    I love this and I thought it was hilarious. I don't think my son has seen my boobies since he was three weeks old. That's how long I lasted breastfeeding. The most he saw at a little one when I had to have him close because he and I were the only ones home was having a towel wrapped around me. Otherwise I always hid. When I was little my brother and I used to take baths together. I was seven years older and developed early. When he discovered my boobs that was the end that and I think it horrified for life. I would be different with girls. My mom and I took showers together for years "to conserve water".
    My recent post Throwback Thursday (10 years)

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks seriously for weighing in Kenya. I never really had an issue and have been very open, but then I got to thinking with her little reaction that maybe I was being too open, but I could see how that would scare you a bit. I also had a younger brother, but he was 6 years younger and by that point I already used the bathroom and bathed by myself, so it was never really an issue there, but on the flip side, I probably would be more closed off on this if I had boys versus girls, too.

  25. Dianna says

    My daughter is not quite 3, so it is a total non-issue for us at this stage. I imagine I will stop if and when she becomes uncomfortable with it, which will probably be around the same time she starts to insist on some privacy for herself (whenever that may be).

    I don't know exactly how I would feel, or if I would feel differently, with a boy.

  26. dramaqueensmum says

    I have a daughter who is 6. When she was little I would change in front of her, but once she was 3 or 4, I stopped. Well now she is obsessed with boobies & flashes hers quite a bit. She says "I am flashing my boobies". I tell her that she can't do that in public. She really wants to see mine & tries to sneak a peak. I'm just not comfy with that. I was thinking of going online & trying to find a health class type of page that explained & showed them. I did tell her that they will grow & the baby feeding part.

    • Janine Huldie says

      I think the growing and the baby feeding part are great to share with her to try to help with this. I would be interested in knowing if their in a course in this or not. At this point my daughter is not even three, so for now I am trying to wait on this conversation. But thank you for sharing and if you do find something, please share with me, because I would be all ears.

  27. stephsprenger says

    Oh, the naked changing thing is such a tough one! With two girls, I will confess that I even shower with them sometimes. My toddler has learned the word "nipples" and is obsessed with pointing them out on herself, and me, too. It is hard not to laugh, and I try to say as neutrally as possible, "Yep- those are nipples!" But, man, I break out laughing sometimes- wait 'til you see tomorrow's FTSF post! 😉
    My recent post How Parenthood Made Me An Addict- A Sleep Addict

  29. catherine gacad says

    janine, i think i would have the same reaction and do the same thing that you did. i don't have kids so i run around the house naked with dean around, but it will be so weird to have to cover myself up when kids get to a certain age! strange indeed.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Catherine, I know I used to do the same thing when it was just Kevin and I. Then, I had two girls and didn't even think twice about it until this. So, yes I totally know what you mean with this and as you can see 4 years later and I was still doing the same 🙂

  31. ssgannett says

    Oh my goodness! LOL! This is just too darn funny! When my daughter was younger, she and I would shower together, and she always thought it was hilarious to smack mine, because it made them jiggle! Now that she has her own set, she finds it equally as funny to stand in front of the mirror and jump, because they bounce! LOL! Then add to that the amount of times that all three of my kids have streaked through the house in their younger years…I simply gave up the fight. Even with my two boys, I couldn't get privacy if my life depended on it, so they have all seen a boobie or two at one point or another.
    I do think though that it has allowed them to not find any shame in the human form, as it is a beautiful creation. My mom was one that would not even talk about the things that a girl would need to know as a woman…I learned everything from boyfriends, and it left kind of a lost feeling as I grew into womanhood.

    My recent post This Momma’s Meandering Mondays 13!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Stacey, I loved hearing from you on this and thank you seriously for sharing here. I know I am going to have to put my big girl panties on as they get older and make sure they hear what they need to from me, because I don't want them to learn it from someone else or feel uncomfortable talking me about it. So, this is really good practice I suppose. Thanks again!! 🙂

  34. Sandy Ramsey says

    Catching up on my blog reading this week and this one has me in stitches! How you kept yourself composed until you left the room, I will never know! Kids, in their innocence, can absolutely say the funniest things!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Sandy, it was easy and still don't know how I didn't crack up right there in Lily's face, but I got out of the room so quick to not do that to her. Both girls leave me in stitches sometimes and really need to keep better track now!! 🙂

  35. The Vanilla Housewife says

    Oh my, I have a toddler too and I change clothes infront of her (you know how they follow you around) and lately she has taken interest in my boobies. One time I was changing my shirt seated on the bed and she suddenly grabbed one of the twins and was smiling like a banshee. I yelped and she laughed! Pffft

    • Janine Huldie says

      So glad it isn't just me that has a child more interested in my boobs than I think she should be and your reaction was truly the same as mine. Sometimes, you just have to laugh!! 🙂

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