Welcome back to Finish The Sentence Friday Blog Hop (FTSF). We give you a sentence and you finish it (however long or short you’d like). Still loving our new banner, thanks to the lovely Michelle of Crumpets and Bollocks (seriously, it is awesome and can’t thank her enough for playing around with this in photoshop of us all).
Please feel free to link up and follow any or all of our hostesses, which are below.
Also, please show some love to this week’s co-host, Tarana from Sand In My Toes.
And now for this week’s sentence to finish: “The one thing I’ll never compromise on is“
NEXT WEEK: NO FTSF FOR THE WHOLE MONTH OF JULY!!!!
The one thing I’ll never compromise on is…
As a woman being able to have control over my own body!
However, I have recently learned that….
“Sad day when procuring birth control is harder then getting a prescription for a bottle of viagra.”
I ended up uttering this after dealing with about 10 local pharmacies, who could not fill or even order me through their vendors an IUD prescription (Paraguard) prescribed by my OB/GYN. I want to go on the record though as saying one local pharmacist made phone calls all morning long to see if he could indeed find and get his hands on one for me through some of his vendors. So, to that man, a huge thank you for even trying! But still, last I checked this is 2014 and a woman is allowed to make a choice on this. But I digress and yet have made no secret on here that I am pretty much done with having anymore babies. Please know this isn’t a decision I made lightly either.
As much as I love my two girls, I honestly cannot go through another high risk pregnancy and be taken away from my husband and two girls to be put on bed rest for undetermined amount of time. It might sound foolish or selfish, but honestly my heart just couldn’t deal or go through with this nor the possibly of losing a baby (god forbid).
See during my last pregnancy with Lily, it was fraught with all sorts of issues, including spotting starting at 21 weeks to be told, I could possibly lose the pregnancy, because viability isn’t until 24 weeks of pregnancy. And even at 24 weeks, the chances of delivery a healthy baby that would be similar to a 40 week gestational baby would be slim to none. The baby at this stage would definitely have been very sick with numerous health issues even if she survived.
Somehow by the grace of god, not only did Lily survive (she thrived) and was born at term perfect at 39 weeks. But it was months, upon months of worry and testing to get to that point. Please make no mistake, I thank god everyday for this outcome. I am not saying I would have loved her any less if it didn’t turn out as well as it did, but trust me I worried for months that my poor baby might be born too early and my heart was filled with dread and concern that she would suffer.
I spent many days and hours each week at my doctor to try my best to prevent the worst from indeed happening and did exactly what I was told at each visit.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my doctor, but sitting in a doctor’s office for prolonged period of time weekly is not something I want to do anymore. Been there done that with my constant fears, concerns and just plain missing my family while languishing away at these visits..
So, I made the decision to go on birth control after having Lily – a personal decision at that. I was first put on progesterone based birth control for breast feeding mothers. After about 2 years, I was put on an estrogen based pill, because the other pills were making my periods erratic at best, but was a bit nervous about this as I was on this type of birth control before having Emma and would get menstrual migraines from it. I was hoping against hope that this time out would be better. But after the first month, the headaches were awful and showed up like clockwork.
My doctor told me to try the 3 month birth control pills after I tried for this for bit and still was getting headaches. The three month pill pack made me feel even worse then I did originally with the worst headaches after the three months were up. After this, I made the decision to go off of birth control completely, but have been paranoid about pregnancy to be quite honest. I try my best to calculate ovulation and chart, but I really do want to have to do this for the next 10-15 years until menopause kicks in.
So, long story short, I was told my only other options were condoms (again worry that somehow this doesn’t work for us) or have an IUD put inside of me with no hormones (so no headache side effects). I did use condoms for a few months now and my paranoia has truly gotten the best of me. So in that end, I opted to get all the information on the IUD with a script in to fill from my doctor.
I called my insurance (Aetna) and was told that the device is 100% covered as of now birth control is indeed covered fully by insurance companies (thanks to Obama Care). However, my doctor is out of network, so might need to pay for the procedure at the very least.
Aetna (my health insurance carrier) told me it wasn’t available through home order delivery, but that my local pharmacy could fill the prescription. That is where the real fun began. I dropped my prescription off on Saturday to be told it would be ordered and available on Monday for pickup.
Then, Sunday morning I received an e-mail telling me it was out of stock. I called the pharmacy to be told that their vendor doesn’t carry this prescription and to call another local pharmacy. I made about 10 phones calls, to find out that I would not be getting it from any pharmacy locally.
Apparently insurance vendors (local and mail order, too) don’t carry IUDs and need to be ordered directly through my doctor. I am having to pay out of pocket hundreds of dollars first, then to hopefully be reimbursed by insurance. I am being responsible and pretty much getting burned for this one.
On top of it, because I can’t get the prescription in hand without it being ordered, I had to go another month without being protected by birth control and having to do another few weeks of worrying here. So bottom line, during all my legwork to try to get this birth control, I began to wonder, why is it so very easy to fill a bottle of pills for Viagra for a man who has certain sexual issues, but for a woman who is in need of contraception with pre-existing medical conditions that preclude her from wanting to get pregnant again more difficult to obtain than getting into Fort Knox?
Just food for thought and honestly more then a bit annoyed at the current state of our medical policies. So, had to put this out there, because as a woman I am definitely more then pissed off (sorry needs to be said) about this.
By the way, not annoyed at my doctor, he is amazing, but it is the insurance companies and the vendors who should be ashamed of themselves. Birth control finally is 100% covered, but damned if you could get your hands on it apparently! We have taken 2 steps forward, but apparently 3 steps back on this. And yet as a side note, since my doctor is out of network for me, I was told after I finally paid for the IUD out of pocket that my insurance wouldn’t even cover $200 out of the $600 I paid for it. Aetna then told me I should have just gone to Planned Parenthood to have this device installed. There it would have been free.
Guess what?
When I finally did have the IUD installed, I was laying there on the table and my doctor actually told me I have a curved cervix (sorry for the TMI, but trust me this will make more sense in a moment) and he was going to have to put an anesthetic spray to localize the area so he could straighten it to indeed install the IUD.
So, not sure how the hell Planned Parenthood would have done or handled this, but to the insurance companies who think they know better then the best of the best in doctors, I can’t help but laugh a sarcastic laugh here! In all honestly, the IUD is installed and in the right place having had a sonogram to check for this (giving me a 99.9% chance of not getting pregnant in the next 10 years) and most likely will be paying a little under $1000, because I do have the right to choose, but would appear may not be the right sex to indeed make the choice or the cut as far as medical insurance goes.
Now that wrote about what I won’t compromise on, please share with us today, too.
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Bill says
The one thing I won’t compromise on is my integrity….
and good for you for not going through another pregnancy. A woman should always have the right to choose, and in no way is your decision selfish. Bravo my friend.
Kristi Campbell says
DANG, Janine. Your health insurance doctor IUD battle sounds awful. Trust me that I am there with you on not wanting to deal with another pregnancy (although a baby would be nice, but like you, I was on bedrest and it was awful.. I can’t imagine it while trying to raise another human!!!). Yeah, insurance companies suck, sadly. They can be awesome when we’re not expecting it (my bedrest monitoring was fully covered) but suck when we need them (Tucker’s gotten referrals to speech when we were trying for social/emotional camps over and over).
Dana says
Ugh – what a hassle you’ve had to go through! But at least you have the choice; that’s something I would never compromise on either.
Kat says
It is so sad that women have to fight (and pay) to have their health issues recognized as important. We should never have to compromise when it comes to the health of our bodies. I live in Canada so we don’t have the same kind of issues that you have and, yes, I’m SO thankful. We do have to pay for birth control (including IUD’s) but many of us have private insurance that covers what our universal medicare doesn’t including birth control.
Christina Morley says
10 years is a good number, but I’m sorry that it was such an uphill battle. I also don’t want to have another baby and my hormones were out of whack, so I’m on hormonal birth control pills. Thanks for your many good wishes that you’ve sent my way. I saw your latest comment on my blog. Take care and God bless!
Tamara says
There are so many choices, but I find that none of them are perfect. Well I guess eventually the permanent ones are.
I never want another pregnancy, but I’d gladly take another labor/delivery and even another newborn. I know I’m nuts.
I haven’t figured all this stuff out yet. Good for you for making smart choices, even if the state of our country has to make it hard as anything.
Anna Fitfunner says
Janine: Sorry to hear about your problems. I totally understand your reluctance to have another child after reading about your health situation. It is a bit startling that almost no pharmacies carried IUDs. Did you ever get anyone to explain why it was so hard to find one for you?
Jennifer Hall says
ARG!! Good for you for seeing through and OUCH about your cervix! I’m trying to decide what I will not compromise on….
karen says
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this post Janine…WOMAN POWER…seriously, it annoys me so much that a woman’s choice to control her own body is still open for debate after all these years… If a an old men in government can’t say the word vagina or vulva then he has no business talking about women’s bodies.
I was thrilled when my progesterone pills did not cost me anything, I used to pay over a hundred a month for them. I need to take them not for birth control, but for extreme pain and other lovely reasons that only women get to experience.
karen says
oh wait, do you know what the prompt in August will be? So going to miss FTSF…but looking forward to more Dino time.
karen says
I swear each prompt is better than the next….woooohoooo
Tarana Khan says
Sorry to hear you had such a difficult pregnancy, Janine. I can’t believe you had to go through so much trouble just for birth control. Someone somewhere needs to wake up and fix this mess!
Diane Roark says
Janine,
I do not even know what to say. It makes NO sense. Insurance gives women problems for birth control methods, but if we had a child who ended up being in the hospital and cost millions they would pay pretty good. My son Caleb is a Million dollar baby back in 1996. He was definitely a wanted baby, but what if someone could not afford birth control methods or could not get them with insurance. I am sure this has happened.
Very interesting to read.
Blessings,
Diane Roark
Diane Roark says
Janine,
I forgot to mention how much I love the picture with you and your girls.
3 beautiful ladies.
Blessings,
Diane Roark
Jhanis says
Oh wow! So sorry to hear about the inconveniences you had to endure to get them! But so glad it worked out! I sure wish birth control is covered by insurance here as sadly it is not. I am contemplating on IUD too because, truth be told, I just think I am done having kids. 2 CS, and both pregnancies with issues, I am scared what will happen next if I will get pregnant again!
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
I had my tubes tied after my second. I knew I was done and I didn’t want to be on birth control any longer than I needed to be.
Ruchira says
I hear ya, J9
Having to go to a doc in the network vs someone outside and pay $$$ is really raw and evil. I had to pay tons to see a doc for a second opinion for my arthritis. Sometimes, I don’t understand what democracry really means…lol
Thinking of cooking something and linking up soon!
TGIF!
Carrie Groneman says
Janine, the picture of you and your girls is absolutely beautiful! The picture of you and Lily is precious. Some women need birth control for health reasons, so it is a sad commentary in our society today.
The Dose of Reality says
Oh, GIRL!!! I don’t just find your experience frustrating, I find it ENRAGING!!! It’s just not right. If men could get pregnant, birth control would be available at every street corner for free. Grrrrrrrr. Seriously, this is a travesty. Thank goodness you had the smarts and gumption to keep pushing and finally get what you needed. What about the women that don’t? UGH!!! ENRAGING!! –Lisa
Rosey says
I had a dr. tell me to abort w/my daughter, and then I had to go to a specialist every other week too, who told me the same. Seems there was a white spot on the sonogram they were certain was calcium, which they thought meant CMV or Downs for my daughter. She’s perfect, and has been since the day she was born.
I got the 3-month shots after she was born, and then we decided to have one more baby years later. I got my tubes tied when he was born, and woe the side effects I’ve gotten from that…most notably the migraines every month. The Dr. assured me (different doctor) that it’s not related, but my identical symptoms after the same surgery from tons of people online lead me to believe otherwise (not that I didn’t to start with). It’s funny how you know something beyond a shadow of a doubt and people say ‘nuh uh.’ Whatevs. I know what I know. 🙂
I’m glad your baby girl was wonderfully perfectly fine. 🙂
Bev says
Oh my goodness, Janine, I can’t believe what you had to go through to get an IUD! You have every right to make a decision about YOUR body and you shouldn’t be put through such an obstacle course to obtain what it not only legal in this country, but mandated. I could go on and on about women’s issues and the inequality, but I won’t. It makes me realized how much I take for granted with my healthcare. I feel very fortunate to live in a state where generally these kinds of things are easy for women, but I recognize that this is unfortunately not always the case. Thank you for sharing your story, it needs to be said!
Stephanie says
It seems like every day there is a new story of coverage nightmares and additional charges and extra charges. It sucks. I’m sorry you have to deal with it – it’s so frustrating. We have issues going on here…and it always ends up we are paying more for way, way less.
Hawk says
We just got done fighting our insurance to cover medication they promise to cover as well. We pay out the rear end for our insurance because we live in a state where marriage is not legal between us, so we have to pay full price for me (though his work is awesome to offer domestic partner benefits). Fighting with insurance companies is a full time job and one of the most frustrating jobs ever because they don’t care. They honestly don’t give two nickles if you receive your medication or life saving treatment, and that is sad. I am glad, in the end, you were able to get your choice honored, but it’s crap that you had to go through so much just to get there! Good on you for sticking to your guns and getting the form of birth control you required.
Brittnei says
Ha! This is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone actually having to order the IUD or get it from the pharmacy. I thought it was just installed by the doctor and provided by them, too. Goes to show how much I knew! LOL. Sounds like it was a rough process. I personally do not like the medical system and insurance system either so I don’t blame you for getting upset not one bit.
Rea says
I love the honesty of this post Janine! I hate fighting with insurance companies. I’ve done so several times although not for birth control. It seems like they’re all out to get more money! I too am perfectly fine with only one kid although my husband wants another one but I seriously don’t want anymore. I’ve never used commercial birth control options though, I get paranoid yes! There’s obviously a high chance I’ll get pregnant again but really hoping I’m done. I guess I’ll never know. Thanks for sharing your story and sorry you had to go through that.
Amanda @ Growing Up Madison says
Wow I had no idea that IUD’s were so hard to come by now. I had mine inserted after my son was born in Manhattan 9 years ago but had it taken out and was using the pill. I also had a very high risk pregnancy with Madison and was placed on bedrest for the last 3 months of pregnancy and yet she still came at 35 weeks. She’s only delayed with her speech but otherwise is very healthy. The health system sucks so bad these days it’s a wonder we’re all still here.
Kenya G. Johnson says
I have the curved thingy too. If I had of known that was probably the reason why it took forever to get pregnant I probably would have done some handstands to give the little swimmers a chance. Anyway I can relate about not wanting to go through stuff again. I often wonder if people that have a lot of kids had no complications at all. Some things you just done want to go through again.
Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. says
That.Is.Crazy!!! I can’t believe all the hoops you had to go through, and you make a great point about the glaring double standard- UGH!!! Also? Don’t blame you one bit for wanting some reliable birth control!
Kim says
I can’t believe you had to get the IUD yourself!!!
I had an IUD for years (from about 3 months after Hunter was born until just a few years ago) – basically it was an office visit charge for me to show up, have it put in (the DR had it) and the follow up visit.
Sorry you had to go through such an ordeal.
BTW – the reason I had it removed is because I was getting monthly migraines and having 3 week long periods. Since I knew we weren’t having any more kids I had a procedure done. For the past 3+ years I haven’t had periods (Hooray!!!) and the headaches aren’t monthly!!!
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
I could go on a political rant here, but I won’t. Suffice ti to say, since January, we have had to pay a lot more out of pocket for medical stuff thanks to our country’s government. All that aside, I agree that you do have the right to choose your on method of birth control and I hate that it was so difficult for you!
Sandy Ramsey says
What a nightmare! You are right in saying that as far as we’ve come, there is still a long way to go. This is a highly emotional post for you, I can tell. I totally understand your choice not to have any more children. But to have to jump through such hoops to find the right solution for that choice is a shame!
Carrie says
Sweet baby Jesus, what an ordeal! I’m glad it worked out in the end, but no one should have to go through all that. Isn’t that why Obama Care was put into place?
katbiggie says
There are just so many things in this post that are wrong! First, you should never feel like you should have to justify to anyone why you are done having children. I got my tube tied because after that terrible pregnancy I never wanted to do that again. What does your husband think about a vasectomy? Second, it seems like the doctors office should be willing to order them. That’s annoying. Third, insurance companies are corrupt and I hate they think they know better! And fourth, I cannot believe it was that hard to locate one! Just wrong! Thanks for sharing this experience Janine!
another jennifer says
There is no reason for it to be so hard (or expensive) for a woman to get an IUD. I don’t care what her reasons are for wanting it. It’s crazy you had to go through so much trouble, Janine. When I was pregnant with my youngest, the insurance company almost didn’t pay for my ultrasound! They said it wasn’t necessary. Luckily I had a great insurance agent who took care of it. What the heck?
Dara says
I’m actually thinking about this…the pill makes me sick and I’ve heard good things about iud!
Cyndi Calhoun says
Very interesting read and food for thought.
I could write a novel about all the stuff (and I completely agree with everything here) about all this: mostly, a woman’s right to her own body.
Politics and corporations (namely insurance companies) should have no bearing on what we decide to do.
And…I have sort of an opposite problem: we “tried” found we can’t conceive and now I’m embracing it and thinking I just might do the “child free” thing altogether…but that’s a whole ‘nother story…perhaps I’ll blog about it sometime. 😛
Aunt Gloria says
Do not get me started on the domination of our health by insurance companies! I can’t believe what you had to go through. Glad it’s a done deal now and you are safe and secure for the future. Too risky for any more pregnancies….and thank goodness you have the option to protect yourself and your family. You did good! xxoo
Courtney Conover says
This is INSANE.
I have the Paragard, too: it’s the only thing I can use due to a fibroid in the muscle lining of my uterus that is liable to grow the size of Texas with the presence of hormones. (Fun times.)
Getting mine was a cinch, and it pains me to think that you had to endure this rigamarole. 🙁
Stopping by from the Creative Style Link-up.
Kathy Radigan says
I can’t believe you had to go through all of that! I’m so sorry. I too could go on and on about the way insurance companies are stacked against women, but I will focus on you and say that I’m glad in the end you were able to get yourself the care you needed. xo
Julie @ Don't Lick Your Sister says
That’s crazy it was such an ordeal and I love the title of your post! I was actually just talking to a mom the other day that wanted the birth control that is implanted in the arm (because she had a problem with an IUD and so the IUD was not really a good option for her). The insurance refused. I found this truly amazing that they won’t cover the few hundred dollars it cost to do this but are willing to pay hundreds of thousands for pregnancy health care, the birth and all other health care once the child is born if she was to get pregnant. It really makes no sense! Also – I had a similar situation with my 2nd pregnancy and completely understand all your reasons for saying your family is complete. But no matter what your reasons for wanting BC – it is certainly your right!!
Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma says
Oh Janine, I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through all of that. This is such an important post for other women to read – thank you so much for sharing it. I have also had many ups and downs with birth control over the years. I don’t need it anymore it terms of getting pregnant, but I still take it for hormonal reasons. It must have been such an incredibly scary time for you in the last months of your pregnancy with Lily. So So happy for you that it all worked out in the end 🙂
Kelly L McKenzie says
Wow. I honestly have to say I have had my eyes opened here Janine. The Canadian medical system is so very different. At least my experience with it was so very different. I do hope things improve for you and you don’t have to go through this again.
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama says
WOW! What a story. I had the paragard installed shorty after my second but my OB had one on hand. Unfortunately it did really terrible things to me and I had to remove it after 6 months…I am happy that it works for you though!
The Pinterested Parent says
How scary, Janine. Oh dear. I would not want to go through that again either. LIly is so beautiful. I am glad that it all worked itself out.
April says
We’re really backward in this country sometimes. We don’t have a functioning foster care system, but we don’t help people prevent pregnancy, then complain when too man people are on welfare to take care of their children! I’m sorry you had to go through this.
Tenns @ New Mama Diaries says
Ugh, I hate dealing with insurance companies and such. You’re always getting the runaround, there’s never enough information, and it can be down right confusing. They should make it easier for us to get what we need. You definitely shouldn’t have had to drive all over town, just to get a prescription filled! As progressive and developed of a country we live in, you’d expect better!
Caroline says
I’ve been drowning in html as I just relaunched HighHeels2HiddenToys to FitPinkMom so I’m a bit behind on bloglovin… but I did manage to read this the other day and it was so interesting to read after the whole Hobby Lobby thing. How ridiculous you had to go through all of this! It’s just insane to me. It’s a shame that something as personal as birth control is suddenly everyone’s business except a woman and her doctor! I’m glad things finally worked out for you!
catherine gacad says
i agree with you. it is so ridiculous what women have to go through to make the medical choices that are right for us. it seems like this would be so easy. this is birth control, not some disease! we need better health care in america.