“I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out than when I go partying. Maybe because my party clothes are so binding.” – Cher from Clueless
If I were to be completely honest, I have always loved fashion and getting dressed up, but on the flip side give me my yoga leggings, sweat pants of even pajama pants while I veg out reading at night with a good book and I am as happy as can be nowadays.
But see back in the day, I was definitely more the party girl, Cher, who lived to dress up, go out and simply have fun.
Many times in my youth, my nights would only begin around 11 pm and would find me out until all hours of the night and truly dressed to kill (or at least I thought so).
I was young and honestly that so-called youth had a way of helping me to keep all sorts of hours.
My own dad wasn’t amused and even though he went to bed on the earlier side, he also would be up by around 4 am to begin his day on the whole.
I still can recall one specific night, that I came waltzing in after an especially fun night out with friends, only to bump into my dad in the hallway of our home.
Dad clearly, spoke first calmly saying, “Good morning sunshine.”
I sarcastically answered back, “Good night!”
I give my dad credit as he never lost his cool with my smart mouth on this in the heat of the moment.
For the life of me, I don’t remember our conversation the following day or what transpired in the aftermath only recalling how argumentative and belligerent I was overall during that time of my life.
Not proud by any means, but I admit it whole heartedly and can be upfront here.
But that was then and this is now.
Becoming a mom changed me in more ways than one, especially mellowing me out and sadly losing a year’s worth of sleep with a colicky baby in the past nor the overall tiredness in the present that prevents me from wanting to put on my so-called party clothes and live it up more often.
As for nights out on the town, I still do go out when I can. Maybe not nearly as much as I once did. But when I do, my nights start much earlier and end around the time that I would have been just getting ready to go out in the past.
It is a conscious decision to be more responsible than my youthful counterpart, as well as the fact that I am more a lightweight as far as how late I can stay up now.
Let’s just say, it is a bit of a case of Cinderella’s carriage turning back into a pumpkin at the strike of midnight!
I definitely get the irony here if nothing else.
Also when I am out, as much fun as I might be having, there is a part of me missing, thinking, discussing and even longing to be home with them.
Home is truly where the heart is.
See my girls are at the age, where they look for me thinking I can do no wrong and when it comes to bed time, they expect me to tuck them in and read with them, as well.
I know full well there is going to come a day, when they will be out past my now bedtime and most likely keep similar hours to my once youthful self.
So when I miss this bed time ritual even once in awhile, I feel as though my heart is missing a beat or two.
Believe me I know logically that is it healthy and even the best thing I can do for myself to have time away from them, as it only reaffirms just how much I adore and love them.
However, I always come home to them and when I do find myself watching my girls sleep peacefully by the light of their nightlight at the end of these evenings out.
It is in this quiet that I just can’t help, but realize that I am truly the lucky one here for that party girl that I once was didn’t know or have this kind of pure and unconditional love.
If nothing else, I am better off for it and wouldn’t trade in all my younger party clothes days for any of it.
Although most mornings, I might beg to disagree and even have a bit of buyer’s remorse. See less than an hour of being awake after a night out, will most likely find me having counted to five for the five year old to stop crying over something else and even broken up more fights than a referee between both of my two. The realization dawns on me during these so-called moments, that I may feel differently and wonder why I don’t go out more.
So, Cher may not have had it all right at first and even more still I may just totally be buggin!!
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