“It’s just a really bad cold.” Emma had awoken during the night Wednesday night coughing badly and so much so that she made herself throw up. That following Thursday morning, I brought her right to the doctor, who proceeded to tell me the first line in this passage.
Hearing that made me feel like maybe, just maybe we overreacted and she really just had a cold. But Thursday concluded, then Friday and even Saturday, Emma kept running fever. She also was crying a lot about her nose running, saying over and over, “I have boogies!” Nose cleaners we became! And by Saturday night, she was burning up.
So, we made the decision to take her to the local urgent care, because most regular doctors are not on call Saturday night and the only places that are open for such reasons are urgent care or after hours centers.
We had also taken Lily there a few times the year before when she had been sick with ear infections and the hives. All of these instances, always seem to happen to us indeed when it is after hours!
Upon arrival, I had to wait to sign her in. She sat on Kevin’s lap watching the Disney Channel on the TV with her blanket covering her legs and clutching her Minnie Mouse stuffed animal.
Once I did sign her in, we waited for over 45 minutes, before even being ushered back into the examination room. Where they immediately took her temperature and pulse. Her temperature came back at a whooping 104.4° F. The attendant left the room and Kevin, of course, needed to use the restroom following right behind him.
The next thing I knew the on call pediatrician came charging into the room asking quite loudly, “What kind of medicine, how much and when did I give it to her?” I told her the truth that I gave her Motrin at around 12:30 that day and then in the evening around 6:30 when she was burning up I gave her another half dose of Motrin, because it wasn’t quite 8 hours since the last time she had it and she is underweight for her age, so I didn’t want to overdose her on the medicine.
Right away, I got admonished that I should have given her the full dosage or at least tylenol with a fever that high. I was so in shock and really didn’t even know how to respond. She left telling me they would be back and someone needed to go to the store for Children’s Tylenol.
When Kevin finally returned, I broke down crying definitely feeling like the “World’s Worst Mother” now! He calmed me down and reassured me that I didn’t do anything wrong and that this doctor had no right to do that to me.
Once I did calm down, I began to be angry that I was treated that way and especially for the fact that I was just a nervous and upset mother, whose child was very sick right now. We both actually feared that a fever that high, they might hospitalize Emma.
When the doctor finally re-entered the room with the medicine her attitude seemed to change and I tried to keep it together for Emma, because that is what the visit was all about.
The rest of the visit was a lot tests for various infections, plus a chest x-ray and ear scrapping (Emma has a lot of ear wax, but to see her if she had an ear infection this doctor literally scrapped her ears making both have scratches in them). In the end (about 3 hours later), it was determined it was RSV Pneumonia.
We were finally discharged with a Neubulizer and prescription for an antibiotic, plus drops to help heal the ear scrapping. By Monday morning, Emma still had a higher than normal fever (it would go away, but then come back again, when the medicine wore off). So guess where we ended up? Back at her normal pediatrician to be told that this could very well last a few more days and just keep giving her medicine.
Have to be honest and tell you as of right now, she still is not 100% back to normal and this truly was the worst that my kids have had so far. Plus, we had made it through practically the whole winter without much illness for either, but when we got hit with an illness, we got hit apparently.
Also, a side note, now that I have had time to process the urgent care’s on call pediatrician’s behavior towards me, I think she may very well have thought that I was a young, single mother. I tend to look way younger than my age, I had no makeup on from sleeping and was dressed in my yoga pants, Hollister Sweatshirt and Ugg Boots. But once my husband was in the room, she seemed to put on a different face.
So, I truly think she thought she was yelling a kid who had a kid. Interesting though how people look at someone and judge a book by its cover without knowing the whole situation. Because this doctor had no clue that I was 35 years old, married with 2 kids (my mom was watching Lily) and have a master’s degree from a school of higher learning to teach.
It would appear she made an assumption though without all the facts. And as my grandfather used to always say, “When you assume you make an ass out of you and me!!” However I wonder, if Kevin had been in that room by himself if he would have gotten treated differently. One may never know, but I leave you with that food for thought!
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Michelle Grundy says
Oh poor Emma! I hope she's feeling better soon 🙁 Don't you beat yourself up about it – you did what you thought was right. When my eldest (now nearly 18) was 2, he contracted meningitis and septicaemia. We thought it was a touch of sunstroke. In those days we didn't have 24 hour supermarkets, and guess who didn't have Calpol (liquid paracetamol). I sent my ex husband to the petrol station, they didn't have any. I nursed his fever, bathed his head with cool flannels through the night, until in the end I called for an ambulance – they told me at the hospital that had I'd probably saved his life by not having Calpol in, because it could have masked the symptoms and brought the fever down. By seeing it raw and in the flesh, the consultant said to me that he'd stake his career on meningitis, and could he begin treatment before doing the tests (lumbar puncture etc). So – who ever knows what 'the right thing' to do is? I think you're great, lots of love x
Janine Huldie says
Wow, Michelle and you are right. You just never know. With stuff like this you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Just thank you though for sharing that story here with me, because it helps to know that I am not alone in possibly not being sure in a moment like that what to do and possibly thinking one thing while it is another. And I think you too are awesome and love right back at you!! 🙂
Michelle Grundy says
At the end of the day, we're parents aren't we – not medical professionals. Definitely right, damned if you do… If you're like me, there'll have been times you've taken one of the kids to the Doctors to be made to feel silly and overprotective when there's nothing wrong. Or 'just a cold' 'just a cough' and told to go home with a bottle of OTC paracetamol or linctus. The next time, we don't know what to do. Is it bad, or are we being neurotic? Will we get labelled as a timewaster? Just see how the next few hours go and then when you go in you find they've got some nasty infection and you feel awful. Damned if you don't lol.
Janine Huldie says
Oh Michelle, I have been there too. Especially last week when I was told just really bad cold and there was nothing they could do or give her. "Just has to take its course," I was told! So, I think when a doctor tells us that we begin to second guess ourselves. But I think the one thing that does it for me is I know my kids and should have truly gone with my gut that this was more. But I guess now that is just crying over spilt milk so to speak!!
Robin Rue says
That sucks that you were treated so badly. No matter what your situation is, you are a mom and you were trying to do what was best for your daughter. I would have called the doctor out on her behavior – that is no way to treat a mom who's worried sick. I'm glad they finally figured out what was wrong with her!
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Robin and I think I was so in shock and just didn't know what to say. Although now in hindsight, I wish I would said something for sure, but do agree that I am just so relieved that I know what was wrong with her and that she is on the mend now.
The Sadder But Wiser says
I love that phrase about assuming. I use it a ton! 😀
There's always that one doctor that makes you feel about like a lousy parent! I've been there-I've taken my kids in for what I thought were ear infections that were nothing. Then there have been other times when the doctor acted like I should have brought them in sooner. My daughter had an ear infection so bad that her ear drum almost ruptured! I felt so bad, but honestly she didn't even act like it hurt much! Usually when it's our regular doctor I am reassured because she is a mom of three who knows me and my children very well. It's those other people that, well, assume! 😉
I'm hoping she is feeling more like her sweet little self soon. No fun at all!
Janine Huldie says
Oh so true about there always being that one doctor. When we saw her pediatrician on Monday after the urgent care episode andI told her a bit of what had happened there, she told me that was uncalled for and that because Emma is underweight I was only following the medicine dosage for her size and weight. But still that doctor had me questioning myself. Thanks seriously though and you are right though about assumptions.
erintheirishmama says
Oh you poor thing. I'm glad that the doctor changed her attitude as if you are not worried about your kid. And poor Emma. I pray that she feels better ASAP so you guys can relax a little this weekend.
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Erin and I hope so too, because today is a week since it started. She is still coughing a bit, but at least the fever is gone now 🙂
Kat Biggie says
Ugh. You did the right thing, even if she did yell at you! Mean doctor! Poor Emma. My daughter had RsV pneumonia too and her fever also got up to 104. Scared me!!! And yes, it always happens after hours!!
Janine Huldie says
Thanks for telling me that Alexa, because I neither of my girls ever had RSV so when we heard 104 fever, we got a bit scared and even thought they may hospitalize her. As for the doctor, I still can't believe she acted that way, but if it helped Emma get better at this point I can suck it up and let it be (except needed to write here about it of course!).
Dani Ryan says
Ugh, I'm SO sorry you've had to go through this. My daughter woke up with her first cold on Saturday and it hasn't been fun, but it sounds like a walk in the park compared to this. The doctor's reaction to you was completely unprofessional, and I would've been crying too. I hope she feels better soon and that you get some rest. You must be exhausted!
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Dani and hope your little girl is feeling better, too. We have had colds, ear infections, hives and I thought those were bad, but this was just scary with such a high fever. I am tired, but now worrying that Lily may get this. She started coughing this morning. So stay tuned!!
Dara Granoff says
and even if you were a single mom that doesn't give her the right to yell at you!
Janine Huldie says
Dara, I totally agree with you a110%. But definitely interesting how people still in this day and agree react when they think this.
Mary Hill says
I feel for you. My granddaughter ended up in the hospital for a week because of pnemonia last year. She was very sick. Hopefully, Emma will .better soon.
Janine Huldie says
Oh Mary, I am so sorry about your granddaughter and that truly was our fear when we saw how high the fever was. Thank you for sharing and for your kind thoughts, too!! 🙂
Tamara Bowman says
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. We had RSV here and it was really terrible and took up to two weeks for her to be 100% again. The doctorwas very insensitive.
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Tamara and so sorry you too had to deal with RSV. I am keeping her out of pre-school for the rest of the week and dance class on Saturday just to give her time to get back to herself now. Today, will be a week since it started and she still coughing a bit and having to blow her nose. Thankfully hasn't had a fever in 2 days now though 🙂
Cyndi says
Ugh…this sounds positively horrible – all around. The doctor, the urgent care, the RSV and poor Emma with that high fever. : So sorry and yes, that doctor was out of line. They don't know everything, either.
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Cyndi and will say that I am happy that the doctor to find out what was wrong with her and that she has gotten better, but just still wish she would have had better bedside manner.
The Next Step says
wow – totally unacceptable for that doctor to treat you that way. but I wonder if there is a different attitude across the board with ER and urgent care docs. when I took The Kid to the ER for croup again this year, the doctor made a comment about how big her tonsils were, with the raised eyebrows that indicate shock & awe, and suggested I take her to the pediatrician as soon as possible to discuss getting them taken out. One look down her throat and the pediatrician gave the same look – in regard to the ER doctor's assessment. Apparently tonsils have a range of 1 to 4, with 4 being "they need to come out" – pediatrician said The Kid's were "barely 1"
I just have to wonder if the ER docs don't lean toward the dramatic to prevent any kind of "well you didn't tell me it was that bad!!" – so much easier to apologize for making it out to be worse than it is, rather than down-playing it and it being worse.
Janine Huldie says
Lori, very interesting and I do agree that the pediatrician's office stance is much more lax than that of the ER or urgent care it would appear. Thanks seriously for sharing and just glad that she is getting better now 🙂
Nicky says
I hate to have to tell you this but nurses are trained not only to monitor and assess our patients, but to make up for the crappy bedside manner that most Drs have. I work with several and there are only a few of them that actually have a really good bedside manner. The ones that are really good with their patients are crappy towards their nurses… go figure LOL! But now you can focus on getting her well! Swinging through with the blog hop! Keep me updated on how she's doing:)
Nicky
http://www.feelingtheemptynest.com
Janine Huldie says
Nicky, thank you for sharing that with me. I am not a nurse nor a doctor, so I truly am not privy to knowing what goes on behind the scenes I suppose. Just glad she is doing better now and will definitely be heading to you in a few now 🙂
The Dose of Reality says
We have had a few less than desirable experiences at the Urgent Care. It sounds like you have got this one pegged completely correctly. So sorry for your poor sweet girl. RSV is the worst.-The Dose Girls
Janine Huldie says
At this point I totally agree with you on the care at urgent care and that RSV is truly awful and not fun!! Thank you for your kind thoughts here 🙂
Britton says
I'm sorry that first your daughter is not feeling well, and second that you were treated like that! I've heard it time and time again…when you assume, you make an a** out of you as well! ! Hope she feels better soon! Stopping in from SITS!
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks Britton and my grandfather was wise man with this saying that he truly did use often enough. That said, I am just truly glad she is on the mend now and hoping that my younger daughter stays healthy now!
Bill says
There is nothing worse for a parent than to have your child very ill. I don't blame you for being upset or for being offended and angered by the urgent care people. At least it sounds like Emma will be alright so all ends well, but still, very scary times for a parent.
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Bill and very true that all is well that ends well, but still so scary. Now I am left though with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth for the urgent care unfortunately though.
Rosey Marie says
Eek, my blood started boiling when I read your post. I'm sorry you got treated that way, and I would have done the same thing with the dosages! So sorry your little one was sick enough to go to Urgent Care. 🙁
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Rosey and nice to know that it isn't just me that get annoyed at the treatment from urgent. You know when it happens to you, you wonder am I being too judgmental or harsh, because maybe I am totally just being too sensitive. So thanks for saying that 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Kelly, you totally understand this post then, because I was told the same and felt like I must be crazy for thinking she was sicker than they told me with "Just a bad cold". I was so scared that she would have to be admitted to the hospital. From my understanding, her lungs were 2% saturated away from being admitted. Scary stuff RSV and truly hadn't had any experience with it until with Emma this past weekend. Thank you for sharing your story from when Laurel was 6 months old and just glad that with you guys, too that all ended well. But you are right about the treatment and there was no real reason for it.
Leslie says
That is unacceptable treatment by both doctors. I am so lucky that my pediatrician is so understanding and compassionate. The whole office is awesome. It makes me wonder what the urgent care doctor thought of you, she shouldn't treat anyone like that.
Janine Huldie says
So true Leslie and it was definitely an experience. I really just wish I had my wits about me at the urgent care to speak up more for myself. Usually I am more on the ball and would have totally stuck up for myself, but I was just so in shock and definitely overtired and a bit nervous with how sick Emma was, so it truly wasn't normal circumstances.
Roshni Aamom says
First of all, I'm happy that it was diagnosed in time and Emma is better now. I hope she recovers completely very soon.
I think the pediatrician had no right to dismiss your case so easily. I hope you will have a talk with him/her about this.
Regarding the other doctor, it may be that she realized the seriousness of the case and got angry with you for not taking it more seriously, and then, when she realized the facts, she changed her attitude. However, that is still unprofessional of her!!
Janine Huldie says
Roshni, I have totally dealt with Emma's normal pediatrician when we took her back on Monday after the urgent care visit. As for urgent care and the doctor on call, you are so right, but even if that was the case I think there is truly a way to speak to someone and this was so not it. Thank you and Emma is doing quite a bit better. She isn't 100% perfect yet, but definitely no where near as sick as she was.
Stephanie Sprenger says
Omg Janine. I am so sorry!!! What an awful experience for you guys! It makes me really mad that you were treated differently when your husband was around. Grrrr.
Janine Huldie says
Thanks for your support Stephanie and I truly would be mad if I read this on your blog, too if you were treated this way. We just do the best we can and to be treated poorly when our kids are sick is so unfair 🙁
Christy Birmingham says
Awww poor Emma. Sending your whole family much love and glad you did get a diagnosis in the end xx
Janine Huldie says
Thanks so much fro Christy for your good thought and for sharing, too!! 🙂
Lanaya @ Raising Rea says
Un-freaking-believable! Poor Emma! I'm so glad that you ended up getting the answers you were looking for in the end but {and especially} in a medical field — you NEVER assume! You are such a better person than me. I would have gave her a piece of my mind right then and there and not cared who was around to hear it!
Kisses to little Emma ~
¤´¨)
¸.•*´
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo http://www.raising-reagan.com
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Lanaya and ordinarily I would have ripped this woman a new one, but I was in such a state of shock to be honest and then once it did sink in, I wasn't sure if I was just plain crazy or not. I swear talk about second guessing myself then, but seriously just so happy Emma is doing better and that we got to the bottom of it!! xoxo 🙂
Emily says
As we discussed a bit on my blog yesterday, it DOES sound as if you may have been treated differently had Kevin been in the room, which is so unfortunate…I'm so glad she's doing better and if it makes you feel any better, I've rushed to the pediatrician many times only to be told there was nothing wrong with my child…and then days later, they are sick with strep or something. As I've said before, you are an amazing mom and don't let anyone make you think otherwise!! P.S. I'd be curious to know which urgent care place you went to…one of my friends from high school and her husband started an urgent care facility on Long Island and it's grown to many locations. If it's the same place, I can let them know that one of their dr's was out of line!!
Janine Huldie says
Thanks so much Emily. The Urgent Care I we went to was in Massapequa on Merrick Road. It is called ER Dox/Pedia-Nyte. I have gone there in the past and never been treated like this, but seriously was just so blown away by this doctor. Don't get me wrong in the end she did right by Emma in the diagnosis, but just how I was treated at first really threw me for quite a loop. I just can't thank you enough for your kind words and all your good thoughts for Emma though, too 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Wow, Amy and I didn't realize that this was prevalent with younger kids, but hearing you and few others tell me that their kids too went through this is just plain scary. Thanks for sharing and for also being so kind with your comments and thoughts, too 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks Julie and trust me I am so glad we did get the medicine getting to the bottom of it after all is said and done.
lablover22 says
I think you are spot on about those assumptions. I can understand that doctors see it all- the good and the bad- but assuming you have no idea what you're doing is pretty crummy. You are in no way a bad mom. This stuff is hard, just plain hard and we rely on "professionals" for help, not judgement. That's just my opinon.
Vicky http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks so much Vicky for weighing in and you are so very right. Just not sure, but it did definitely sting a bit when it was happening. Just glad Emma is getting better now though 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Terrye and we were back at her pediatrician on Monday after Saturdays's urgent care visit. I did ask how this could go from a really bad cold to RSV and was told that RSV could start out that way and also not have been visible on a test back on Thursday (thus them telling me if she wasn't better by Monday to bring her back in). Three co-pays later, $88 dollars for the Nebulizer machine and more money out of pocket on prescriptions and over the counter children's medicine and we are finally on the mend!! Crazy and just so don't want anymore illness for a while if we can help it!!
Janine Huldie says
Just awful and we are in NY. Terrye we thought about moving to Arizona a while back and I will tell you when we were going through this I kept thinking if only!! I hate winter and we were almost home from for this one, too! Can't even imagine Alaska and seriously you are my hero 🙂
Kelly @ In the Mom L says
Oh my goodness! I am sorry that I've been MIA, but things have been cray cray here too… I had seen some of your FB status updates about this… glad she is getting better. We have been through the rsv but not pnemonia 🙁 PS – doctors that make judgments are the worst and it pisses me off your first doc didn't take you seriously! Anyway, glad everyone is on the mend now.
Janine Huldie says
Oh no worries Kelly and I totally understand. Believe me it has been crazy on this end as you can see too. Thank you though for your kind words and support as well. Seriously so appreciate it!! 🙂
Christina (Tina) Mor says
I've been interested to read this post, but only got to it now via the Google+ notification of your "I Got a Boogie" post. I think the doctor shouldn't treat a young single mother that way either. They should try to be understanding no matter who you are.
I've heard how people who get judged by medical staff get treated really badly. The day after I gave birth to my third child, a doctor looked down his nose at me and asked how I was going to get my kids through college when I had so many.
And, one young lady was quoted in the South African news who had been in a car accident, which wasn't her fault, but there were bottles of wine in the vehicle that broke and she smelled like an alcoholic, so you can imagine, she was bleeding and left to wait, because the staff on duty thought the worst of her and when they finally attended to her, they were mean.
Janine Huldie says
Wow and Christina I couldn't agree more. And what is even more dis-concerning is that I had another bad dealing with children's own pediatrician this past week, when Emma wasn't getting better after two weeks. Long story short, I was told not to ask questions, but my feeling is that I am my girls mother and their advocate, too. I mean they can't ask questions just yet, so that leaves it up to me. The medical community can be a great help, but sometimes they have a god complex and can be anything but. So I am truly in agreement with you and thank you for your thoughtful and thought provoking comment, too!! 🙂