My daily writing reflects the mind of a child and the way little kids think. I have countless stories and phrases that I have lived through with my own kids and been able to see things through their tiny eyes so to speak.
As I sit listening to the stories of the little girls and boys who lost their lives in the senseless tragedy from Newtown, CT, I sit and watch my kids play, laugh and enjoy life. They are too young to get this yet at being only 3 years old and 2 years old, but then again I don’t completely get it.
I mean I still am unnerved and rocked to my core that anyone could harm or injure a child. It is pretty apparent that the assailant was mentally unstable, but still just seems unfathomable to me.
So much has already been written on this and so not sure what more I can add to this. I don’t live in the same state even, let alone know any of these people personally, but still I can’t help, but feel terrible and somewhat connected. I think having small kids, I just really have taken this badly and can relate on some level if anything like this were to happen to my children.
I truly don’t ever want to think about something like this, yet when this happened my mind unfortunately wandered right to that place. Part of me was so thankful that indeed it wasn’t either of my kids and that they were safe and sound in our home. I heard others I know reiterate this sentiment and strangely we all felt the same feelings of guilt for even letting our minds wander to that.
These feelings even have a name and are a form of survivor’s guilt. Yes, I am guilty of having these so-called feelings, but I am just a mother who loves her kids so much that I can’t bear to think about or want to go through something like this. Yet, I am sorry to those who lost their children in this horrible event.
My kids are simply my world, just as I am sure that these parents who lost their kids felt the same way. What parent wouldn’t lay their whole life down for their children? I am sure they would have done anything to not let it be their kids, because again as a parent I know I would have.
In the end, we cannot change these events. Somehow these poor parents have to pick up the pieces of their shattered hearts, bury their small children and move on. No small or easy feat, I can imagine. But I can’t truly imagine and nor do I again want to imagine.
As many know by now, the blogging group I belong to was indirectly effected by the chain of events from Friday shootings, when one of our own, Amy from Adorable Chaos, lost a very dear friend’s son, Ben, a wonderful 6 year old little boy. We started a collection on Friday right after the news of this tragedy broke to help Ben’s family defray funeral costs, as well as to bestow upon them a Star in little Ben’s name.
Many have already donated (as of this morning we have collected over $1700 so far) and we all thank you greatly from the bottom of our hearts. For those who haven’t there is still time and please do click the Paypal donations link in my right-side bar widget towards the top of this page. Any and all donations are welcome. A simple thank you for reading and caring enough to spread the word about our message here is also greatly appreciated.
I also would like to leave you with three quotes out of my own children’s mouths recently, because this is what is all about and quite simply how small children think:
- “Tag, You’re It,” Emma says to Lily while jumping onto the couch right before I start up the vacuum. The girls are afraid of the vacuum and usually will run for the nearest and highest piece of furniture for added protection. They try to help and indeed protect each other as sisters would.
- “The ballerinas are here,” Lily and Emma singing in dress up clothes excitedly and totally happy. They simply love dressing up and playing with each other.
- “Mommy is home,” Lily standing and shouting gleefully in the big bow window of my parents house when I was walking up the stairs returning after having run out to do an errand. Her face and smile says it all with how much she loves me and this totally melted my heart.
Children love with their whole hearts and wear those hearts on their sleeves. We need to be able to protect and value them always. Like I said, I witness this daily with my own little girls, feel blessed and lucky enough to be a mother to these two innocent creatures. I know there are times when they can try my patience and I have these moments often enough, but in the end as I said I am left in awe that I did this and had a part in creating them. Most parents can relate.
That is why I am so very passionate about what has occurred and can’t help, but feel this way.
Thank you again for taking time out of your busy day to read, share and care.
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