This Mom's Confessions

By 62 Comments

Potty Training with Patience and Perseverance — Tips for Success

Filed Under: affiliates, BLOG, Kids Posts Tagged With: , ,

Today, my oldest (Emma) graduates from pre-school and tomorrow, she has her kindergarten orientation (even though we still somehow have another few weeks of school here before summer vacation indeed begins).

I honestly can’t believe how fast time has flown or how she literally is growing up right before my very eyes. We have had met, exceeded and surpassed many milestones here.  

Recently, I was asked which milestones were my favorites (like first words and walking) and which were truly not.

I readily admit that potty training was one of my least favorite and most challenging, too.  I read all the books on this and when it was time to begin with Emma back a few years ago, I thought I was ready, but sadly I failed miserably the first time out.  It took us over 6 months to finally get it right.

Emma Smiling in 2010 - A Few Months Before We Started to Try Potty Training
Emma Smiling in 2010 – A Few Months Before We Started to Try Potty Training

But, as my mother always told me, “Practice does make perfect” and “Try if nothing else to learn from your mistakes”.

I think I did both on this milestone and when the time came only a few short months after with Lily, I think we nailed it and she actually potty trained pretty quickly and even at a bit of a younger age then Emma.  For more on the back story to that, click here.

So, in honor of Emma indeed growing up and reaching another milestone this week, I am going to share a bit about this milestone (potty training) that helped me to learn that it is ok to make some mistakes along the way and still learn from it.

pinkfade Potty training is a landmark event for your child and for you. Your child will be making strides toward becoming a big boy or girl. The key is to make this a positive experience and to have patience, perhaps more than you’ve ever imagined.

Is This The Right Time For Your Child?

Know that a timer doesn’t go off and then you’re required to potty train your child. Potty training happens when your child is physically and emotionally ready, not at a specific age. Many kids show interest in potty training by age two, but others might not be ready until they’re 2½ or even older, and for your sanity and your child’s there’s no need to rush it. Here’s a checklist that can help you determine if you and your child are ready:

  • Not to be Captain Obvious, but does your child seem interested in the potty chair or toilet, or in wearing underwear?
  • When you give your child basic directions, can she understand and follow them?
  • When your child needs to go potty, can you tell by what she says, any facial expressions or postures, such as crossing her legs?
  • Does your child stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day?
  • Does your child complain (verbally or physically) about wet and dirty diapers?
  • Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again by himself or herself?
  • Can your child sit on and rise from a potty chair by himself or herself?

These questions can illuminate if the time is now, or if you should wait, according to the Mayo Clinic. Other considerations include if your child has recently faced, or is about to face, a major life change. Have you moved recently? Have you had another baby recently, or are you expecting a baby? For your peace-of-mind, know that a toddler who isn’t receptive or ready for potty training today can make huge strides very quickly and may be open to it in the near future. Don’t stress about it.

Set Your Child Up For Success

  1. Maintain a sense of humor and positive outlook and you’ll be ready for anything, like here. 
  2. Place a potty chair in the bathroom. A great addition is to use books on how to use the potty chair, so that your child sees how other kids have used it and sees it as something positive. See if your child wants to sit on the potty with or without a diaper, so he gets used to it.
  3. Schedule potty breaks. Take the time to have regular potty time each day. For boys, it’s easier to master urination sitting down before moving to standing up. Let your child read the potty book while sitting on the toilet. Even if your child just sits there, offer praise for trying, and remind her that she can try again later. While kids practice, some parents have successfully used training pants, as a way to have their child practice pulling down their pants when they sit on the potty and then pulling them back up again. The Honest Company carries cloth-like training pants, which are eco-friendly and are great for this transition time. Training pants are also great if you have a precocious child who shows an interest in potty training at a very early age where she might not have full control over her bladder says Babyparenting. You can introduce potty training but also have some back up.
  4. Time to go. When you see that your child needs to go the bathroom, get them to the potty quickly. Give kudos to your child for letting you know that he had to go. Make sure girls learn to wipe from front to back, and if she goes on the actual toilet, give her the honors of flushing the toilet.
  5. Reward. Whether it’s stickers on a chart or a trip to the park, or an extra story at bedtime, make sure you give praise and rewards for your child’s success.
  6. From diapers to pull-ups to training pants. After several successful weeks of potty breaks, you might reward your child with a shopping trip to pick out their big boy or big girl underwear. Make sure you celebrate this transition. Call grandma and grandpa and let your child share the news. Once they’ve made the switch, make sure you choose clothing that doesn’t get in the way of your child undressing (like overalls, tights, etc.).
  7. Sleepy time. As potty-training for the daytime is typically quicker than overnight training or naps, continue using disposable training pants and plastic mattress covers when your child sleeps. For your child, pull ups at bedtime will be a reward as compared to a diaper and reinforce the progress they’ve made.
  8. If at any time there’s too much resistance, just take a break. Potty training isn’t a race, and once you’ve both taken a breath you’ll be ready to try it again in no time flat.

pinkfade

ModCloth Contest:

We’re launching another Make the Cut Contest, and for the first time, we’re asking contestants to develop designs for an accessory — a scarf! Your readers could earn amazing prizes, and you can earn an easy $5 just by sharing info about this wildly successful contest in a blog post. Feel free to copy and paste the sample post below or use it as inspiration for your own entry.

**I work with ModCloth as an affiliate, so the above ModCloth paragraph contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.**

Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

    • Janine Huldie says

      Christa, trust me this was the milestone that I truly can say without a doubt was indeed my least favorite so far. And I know sometimes kids just aren't ready and we did take a short break with Emma before trying again way back when, but then I had Lily who was ready and had to pretty much hit me over the head that she was! 😉

  4. April G says

    Thank you! I’m going to embark on this as soon as summer hits. With being down to one car, things have been a little hectic, add nursing, and getting her to the potty quickly had been a struggle. I completely agree that they have to be ready (Bee definitely is), I hear too many parents say it took 6 or 9 months, but they did it by X time. All I can think is that they weren’t really ready until the end of that period. I guess seeing my brother potty train almost overnight at 18 while my sister struggled at 3 just showed that ever kid is different.

    • Janine Huldie says

      April, my pleasure sharing and you are so right. I saw similar as you did, but with Emma and Lily. Emma took almost 6 months and by the end she was definitely ready. But Lily took days and was not even 2 years old. She was so ready and seriously put herself on the toilet the first time out. So, you are right each child is definitely different and they do indeed need to be ready when they do this.

  5. The Dose of Reality says

    GREAT post, Janine. My son had a hard time with potty training. Then after we got peeing down, it took another YEAR before he'd poop in the potty. UGH. Your #8 rings so true. A friend once told me when I was frustrated, "Your son won't go to college in a diaper, so eventually he'll get it". TRUTH!
    And sometimes you are lucky enough to have a child like Lucy. She announced to me one day when she was 23 months old. "I use panties now" and she did. She basically decided she didn't want to use a diaper anymore and decided she was potty trained, so she was. It couldn't have been easier. I think she only had one accident ever (but I did schedule times on the little potty, etc.) I'm glad she wasn't the first child I helped to potty train or I would have thought it was always that easy! 😀 –Lisa

    • Janine Huldie says

      Lisa, I know #8 definitely is a big one and will say when I was going through it with Ema, I knew this deep down, but still just kept having to remind myself. And sound like Lucy and Lily could have been twins, because she pretty much did the same about training and decided for herself that she was done with diapers. And she pretty much was so easy that I know if I ever did have another child that it would never be as easy again!! 😉

  6. kathyradigan says

    I totally agree with all your tips. I also think it's important that you are ready, two of my children were showing signs but I was very pregnant and my doctor advised me not to push the training before the new baby. I didn't and it made our life much easier. Once we were settled with the new baby (both time!) both kids were able to do it and it took only a few days. Great tips! And congratulations to your graduate!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thank you Kathy and still can’t believe she is graduating and going to kindergarten in the fall. And as for potty training, I too wouldn’t touch it either when being so very pregnant. Luckily in this case, there was only 16 months between them and at 16 months old, I never even thought of potty training Emma 😉

    • Janine Huldie says

      So sorry you were crying here and trust me I was also brought back by writing and sharing these tips today. Still can’t believe Anthony and Emma are going to kindergarten this fall now and more tears will be shed before all is said and don now here, too!!

  9. Billybuc says

    Time flies by so quickly, doesn't' it? We blink an eye and they are grown up. Don't feel alone…I failed miserably at potty training. I think most of us do.

    Have a great day, Janine.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Aww, thanks Bill for saying that and seriously this was one of the hardest things so far I had to help my kids with so far, but do know more will come in the next few years still, too. Have a wonderful day now, too 🙂

  10. Rosey says

    I love that you gave the tip to take a breather if you need to with potty training. Once we start we think we have to go go go (haha, literally) but in truth, if the child's not ready, it's ok to take a breather! Congrats on the grad., have fun w/the orientation, and woohoo school's almost out!
    My recent post (Not So) Wordless Wednesday

  11. themomcafe says

    I think it is SO personal for each child in how they finally learn, adjust, and accept this major transition in their wee little lives!! Cassidy was a total struggle- having accidents well into kindergarten… Cade? Easy peasy. It all depends on the child and I see now hurry or worry in timing.

    I always use my favorite motto with every child's stages- "Is he/she gonna need to have pull ups in college? Is he/she gonna call me to wipe their butt when they are living on their own in an apartment?" I doubt it.

    It all happens… in time.
    My recent post I Welcome Yvonne, Proud Author of Drawings in Sand

  13. queenmomjen says

    I really dislike potty training. It seems like for me it goes on and on, but I guess with 4 children that is to be expected. Great list to remember as I head into hopefully my last round of potty training with my youngest.
    My recent post I Got To Say It Was A Good Day

    • Janine Huldie says

      Kim total opposites here, too and just glad my second was the easier of the two, because she totally would have spooled me and not sure how I would have dealt the second time around if it were reverse to be honest 😉

  16. lisang@expandng.com says

    Whoa, kindergarten orientation! So crazy fast! Before I potty trained our son, I thought that potty training was the mother of all parenting obstacles. I was seriously afraid of it. So scared. Mostly because of the different "methods". I felt if I could conquer potty training, I could ANYthing. What a silly fear b/c potty training, or peeing in the potty, came naturally for our son when he was ready. He didn't show any signs of interest in the potty, but a few weeks before his 3rd birthday, we were just like "he's intellectually ready. he'll get it." And he did, whew! And thankfully after the birth of our daughter, he didn't regress!

  17. realhousewife says

    Oh wow! I forgotten all the fun of potty training…and ha! You have that to look forward to as well! Lol

    I just remember it being pretty easy with my girls. I bought them those books like, "Everybody Poops" and this real cute one that had a little noise maker you pushed and it sounded like a toilet flushing! Hahha plus I put one of those little plastic potty chairs in about every room:))

    Good times! Thanks for the laughs:)

  18. stephanie2006 says

    To be honest, we never really actively potty trained, and I haven't read a single book. We've had some early approaches, mostly because my mom put on some pressure in that department. Eventually, Lily was about 3.5 and Violet 3 when they potty trained. Within 3 days, Lily was using the potty on a regular basis with only very occasional accidents. With Violet it was more of a process, but very laid-back and easy-going as well. Wonder how it will be with baby boy 🙂
    My recent post (Not So) Wordless Wednesday – New Beginnings

    • Janine Huldie says

      Aww, glad it went pretty well with the girls and I have heard boys can be harder, but then again I know a friend's son that did it in only a few short days. So again totally think it is up to the child on this one 🙂

  19. Rea says

    Thanks for sharing this Janine! I will be starting soon because my son looks just about ready. We started training last year but he still didn't want to remove his diaper back then. I am going to try again this month. I've always been scared because my son is already 3 and I'm thinking we're already very late. Plus I want to stop spending on diapers already! LOL

    • Janine Huldie says

      Happy to share Rea and I totally remember that feeling of wanting to not have to pay for diapers anymore. Was a great day here when I didn't have to buy diapers or pull-ups anymore at all for my girls. Wishing you tons of luck and hope this time out goes easier for you all 🙂

  20. Nellie says

    These are some amazing tips as I am on the horizon of potty training again. The first time around was rought but I cerainly learned a lot. I really like the training pants idea, I need to get some. And you are so right about taking breaks when its not happening, that is one thing I didn't do. I was so determined I was acting like it was a race and he really only did it when he was ready…thanks for these awesome tips, I am going to print and send the link to my hubby as we get ready to start again!
    My recent post Weekly Wednesday Workout: Dumbell Chest Pullovers

    • Janine Huldie says

      Aww, Nellie so glad you will be able to use some of these this time out and like you my first time out I thought it was all about a race to some magical finish line, but deep down just couldn’t wait for one to be out diapers. I now know better and tentacles I could tell to my previous self on this are numerous!

  21. Kristi Campbell says

    UGH potty training. These are excellent tips, Janine. Seriously. I think parents stress out so much about "it's time! all her friends are potty trained" and try to force it, which never works. Tucker potty trained late (like he does everything) and the peeing in the potty went pretty well (his teachers did a potty party at school – it's an ABA for autism thing where they stay in the bathroom almost all day but it's fun), and we were pretty golden. Pooping though? OMG another six months and he still would wait to poop until he was wearing a diaper for a nap or whatever. Then, one week, every single day in his pants. We went out and bought this super expensive lego thing and put it on top of the fridge. He wanted it SO BADLY. After 3 days of telling him he could have it if he pooped in the potty, he got it. He still has issues at night though.
    Congratulations on preschool graduation (ours isn't for another few weeks). We'll have to talk A LOT about kindergarden… xo
    My recent post Our Land: Do All Kids Have Special Needs?

    • Janine Huldie says

      Kristi, Emma was so scared of pooping on the potty in the beginning and will tell you she would arch her back when I would try to help her to put her on the toilet back then. It was such a battle, but I thank god those days are behind us, too now.

      And congrats to Tucker next week. I will totally take you up on venting and talking about starting kindergarten now, too. We actually have orientation tomorrow and already overwhelmed thinking about it. Hugs and I am here whenever you want to talk. So huge thank you for that offer 🙂

  22. tamaralikecamera says

    Des is just starting to have an awareness. We started Scarlet at two years and two months and it went fairly well. It wasn't perfect, but nothing really is.
    I'm a bit scared to try again but I have to remember that I was pregnant with Des while potty-training Scarlet and that made it really hard for ME! This time, I won't do that again!
    My recent post How You Know Your Youngest Is Nearing Two.

    • Janine Huldie says

      I couldn’t even imagine potty training while pregnant and now more then ever I am tankful that my girls were so close in age that I didn’t have to do that even though I did have other forms of craziness, because of this, but still not that I suppose. But definitely wishing you luck with Des now for sure 🙂

  23. pfchico says

    I am potty training Mai right now. She is not taking to it very well. We are letting her go at her own pace, but I am ready for her to be out of diapers. These are all great tips Janine.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Totally been there and like I said Emma totally gave me a run for my money and for awhile back then I wasn’t sure we would make it to the other side. Thankfully did and and just so happy I could share a bit here today to help others 😉

  24. stephrufa says

    I love your photo w/the feet!! So cute and I'm so glad I'm not in this stage anymore. I barely remember it but I know I potty trained in the summer when the kids could run free outside in the backyard. They loved the freedom of no diapers and I will never forget Scar teaching Teronis and Tris to pee behind a tree. Good times, right there!
    My recent post PowerICE – A Love Story

  26. gigigirl says

    You should publish this as a basic guide to potty training! An excellent guide for parents. Glad Emma and Lily are well beyond this stage. You did good! Love…..xxoo

  27. Brittnei Washington says

    I totally pinned this for later because I will so need this at some point down the road. On the checklist, we are not even able to cross off #1 just yet. JR is not showing interest in using the potty. We do have it in the bathroom though in case he changes his mind. He did just turn 2 though so we are just patiently waiting. Will refer to this as I see changes in him. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing this!
    My recent post The Nicest Things Someone Has Ever Done…

    • Janine Huldie says

      Aww, happy to share and trust me it will happen. I had a hard time being patient, but learned that I just had to be and to let it go until they were ready. Good luck and got my fingers crossed for soon with JR 🙂

    • Janine Huldie says

      Lily was very similar and hated being wet and dirty. She was trained by a little over 2, because of this. Wishing you tons of luck with Bee 😉

  29. Pure Grace Farms says

    The Grandma in me feels a need to share this with the world! I wish I was fortunate enough when my kids were at this stage to have this information. Would have saved my kids (and me!) a whole lot of frustration. Thanks for sharing!
    My recent post Watermelon Lemonade: A favorite Summertime Refreshment

    • Janine Huldie says

      Catherine, Emma hated being swaddled and then I had Lily who loved it. Seriously two babies and each were so different, still amazes me!!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Footer

Confessions Belong To

I Am A Published Author!

Featured Confessions

Confessions Partners

baby clothes on DHgate.com