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Let’s Play Ball! A Quiz for the Soccer Mom

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Now almost 2 years later, this once girlie girl is finally getting over the shock of being a soccer mom.

Yet, when this soccer mom spends a Sunday afternoon watching my girl playing soccer, the other parents’ reactions never get old.  People watching at its finest!

Don’t get me wrong, I do my best to pay attention to my child playing in the moment. But still I sometimes get distracted by what is happening more on the sidelines. This includes how parents can treat their own kid, others kids, the coach, as well as other parents during a game. This is especially the case since my soccer player kid is still pretty young and not even in first grade yet.

Still, I have come across many different soccer mom reactions before. This also includes during and after the game in these last few years.

Thankfully for the most part, my daughter’s teams have had mostly laid back, model type parents.

[Tweet “Do your kids play #soccer ? What kind of soccer mom are you? #parenting #humor”]

But still couldn’t resist finding the humor in the types of soccer moms out there to bring the below quiz to all.

A Quiz for the Soccer Mom

Whether you kid is just starting soccer or you are already a soccer mom, here is the quiz to find out which soccer mom you are…

A. Before the game:

1.  You are the soccer mom that sets up all your gear near the other team parents. Also, makes sure to give your child the right amount of encouragement as your child joins their team. Plus, then you chat friendly with the other team parents before the actual game commences.

2.  You are the soccer mom that sets your stuff up where you think all the action will. You also don’t bother making small talk with other parents. Nor do you even let your kid know that all that matter is that they have fun. But instead have a one track mind as you scan the field for any and all obstacles that may in the way of the team from winning at all costs.

3.  You are the soccer mom that sits your self down where ever you find a free spot. You also get your phone out and stay on it for the entire warmup. Thus, making sure not to talk to any of the other teammates parents.

4.  You are the soccer mom that as soon as you arrive, make sure to remind and show the coach (once again) the play book you have made for this game. You also let them know that you are available to take their place if need be. See you would be a better coach anyways.  Therefore, your spot is next to the coach.

B.  During the game:

1.  You are the soccer mom that cheers at the appropriate times. You also never try to boo the other team even if they are winning.  Plus, you make sure never to question a play, stay level headed and keep your cool at all times.

2.  You are the soccer mom that cheers for your team. But sometimes a bit too loudly and emphatically to get your point across.  I mean so be it if your last fan outburst made one of the kid’s on the opposing team fumble. Thus this made a soccer blunder embarrassing them in front of their friends and whole family. This was because your team is winning – that is all that matters.

3.  Sports game, what game?  You are having a fascinating time playing candy crush and texting your BFF at the same time. What can you say, but sports time multitasking at its finest!

4.  You are the soccer mom that makes sure to still be standing next to the coach. This helps to give him pointers on how you believed that last play should have went.  Really didn’t he appreciate all your hard work. And why isn’t he using your play book?!

C.  After the game:

1.  You are the soccer mom that makes sure your kid thanks the coach for all their hard work during the game. And then makes sure your kid knows how proud you are of their efforts during the game. Plus you do this before saying goodbye to the others kids and their parents until the next game day.

2.  As long as your team won, then all is well in the world. Plus to hell with the kid on the other team who is crying over the earlier mistake that caused the team to lose.  Now it is time to celebrate and be even louder than you were during the actual game. Why? Because winning again is where it is at.

3.  Damn I wasn’t done with Candy Crush yet!

4.  Ask the coach again if he has your number. Why? So you can give him a call to share some more pointers with him before the next game.

What Sports Parent Are You Answer Key:

Mostly 1’s.

The Model Supportive Soccer Mom.

This is the most common soccer mom.  If you are this soccer mom, then you try to do what is right for the game, your child and the other kids (on both teams) overall.  You sit back cheering when you have to. But also knows when to refrain from commenting so as not to upset the game or apple cart.  You aren’t an angel, but still know right from wrong. Plus, you try your best to model the appropriate team playing behavior. This is before, during and after for your kid. Plus, you are all about stressing that it is all about having FUN.

Mostly 2’s

The Competitive Critical Outspoken Mom.

You are the soccer mom that wants the TEAM to WIN at all cost This is even if it means that your comments, shouts and more negatively effect the game or your own child’s playing experience, as well as other kids on both teams game playing time.  You truly don’t care who you hurt in the process with your words. Why? Because in your eyes all is fair in kid’s sports that is until someone does similar to your own kid.  Then, watch as the claws come out and an all out brawl, too as the worst case scenario unfolds.

Mostly 3’s

The Blaise Mom.

You are the soccer mom, who couldn’t care less.  See while the model parent tries their best to keep the game all about good sportsmanship and the competitive parent can be outright rude. Then along comes the Blaise Soccer Mom, who is just downright ambivalent and ho hum about the whole game. You are neither supporting nor criticizing by just being there with your all is well mentality.  You are the parent that has your head in the clouds at all times. Plus you will be doing anything, but actually watching the game unfold.

Mostly 4’s

The Coach Parent

You are the soccer mom that isn’t the actual coach. But somehow thinks you should be and pretty much critical of all the moves the coach makes.  Nothing the coach does is good enough for your own kid.

Why? Because quite simply the coach is for the team, not just your kid.  This soccer mom might have a bit of the competitive parent in them. But is even worse, because the competitive parent is out for the TEAM to win. However, the coach parent is only in it for number uno one – your kid or so it would seem.  But in reality, it is more about yourself.

Why? Because you may have played the game in your youth or might not of. But you are now trying to live through your own kid as you most likely didn’t live up to your own potential hype back in the day. So you are wanting and wishing your own kid would become the superstar athlete you only hoped you could have been.

So, which soccer mom are you?

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  11. Rachael Boley says

    I’m not a sports parent yet, but with 3 boys, odds are I will be soon! I believe I’ll be number 1, at least most of the time! And I’ll do my best not to knock out or be distracted by the other 3. ☺

  15. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    My boys do karate, so it’s totally different. Even though they are in their classes with other kids, it’s pretty individual – unless they compete in one of the tournaments they have a few times a year.

  16. Seana Turner says

    I hope I was a #1. We didn’t do a lot of sports in this family… more of an arts and theater kind of family. I was a weather wimp, though. My daughter remembers one game when I watched from the warmth of my car, and then jumped out and cheered when something good happened!

  18. Diane Roark says

    Janine,

    I can relate to this post. I have had kids playing sports for over 15 years. The most serious is traveling baseball and high school parents. I hope I am #1 most of the time, but I miss so much game trying to keep my husband under control. He GETS into the games calling every play before the ump. I too enjoy watching the other parents. We have been with the same team for 6 years. I know the parents well. It is funny to watch them do their routine every game which is 3 to 5 games a week.
    Thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed reading your posts.
    Blessings,
    Diane

  19. Bill says

    I coached high school and middle school sports for almost twenty years and I can say without a doubt, the parents are entertaining. LOL That was me being very nice, by the way.

    Happy Monday, Janine. Knock them dead this week.

  20. Rosey says

    My son’s about to start his next season on Thursday. Of all the coaches we’ve had, only one has really been good, but no one grouches about it because like you said, they’re kids. There was one exception though… my father-in-law is SO laid back, nice as can be, and kindhearted. His wife is (not to be rude, just truth) not. They came to watch a game and it was an awful coach (nice guy, awful coach). My FIL who coached baseball for years and years was saying things like, “Coach doesn’t even know how many kids are supposed to be on the field (ha, true, but really I was so embarrassed!), and worse, ‘He doesn’t even know what he’s doing!!’ I was so surprised, and definitely m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d. and the parents who were always so kind to me ignored me the last two games of the season, lol. Oh Janine. I never invited them back. My mother-in-law scolds me often for not sharing little man’s schedule but too bad, how sad, I’m not having that again. geez I hate when parents (or in that case grandparents) act up on the sidelines. I hate it worse when it’s one of my peeps! ha!

    • Janine says

      Rosey, I would have been done what you did, too and I admit some of the coaches for the little kids do it just to help out, because they don’t have enough volunteers to coach and may not always know what they are doing, but still as long as they are respectful, I would always try also never to put them down in anyway.

  21. Karen says

    You had me laughing out loud! With my younger boys I am parent #1, however now that my older son is on a challenge soccer team, I have crossed over to the nasty side and show qualities of a #2 parent at times 🙂

  22. Carrie Groneman says

    Oh Janine, the joys of kids and sports. All 5 kids were in all types of sports and that meant over 25 years of sports, with overlapping different types and several kids on various teams at the same time. I always said I kept my house for mailing purposes because we lived in the suburban going from one event and practice to the next. Thanks for the great post. Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow

  23. Linda Roy says

    I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have two boys and neither one is into sports. lol Max played some soccer, but when his team lost horribly one year, that was it for him. And Miles is like me; just roamed around the field chatting up his team members!

    • Janine says

      Linda, my younger daughter was so me and chasing butterflies, when she tried last year. She just told my husband when he asked if she wanted to try again next year that in no uncertain terms she did not and wanted to take dance! So, I guess she told him and at least one out of two isn’t bad to have be like dear, old mom! 😉

  24. Sarah Nenni Daher says

    I’m still laughing as I write this! I’m not yet a sports parent (we just started swimming with our 3 year old), but I’m seriously looking forward to it. I know it builds a great framework for the kids, teaches them about working in a team, and blah, blah, blah but I’m mostly going to be there for support. I’m going to be huddled under my umbrella in the Seattle rain, taking pictures of my kid (and only my kid), chatting up other parents, and throwing out the ‘good jobs’ at random.

    I believe is support, not stress, for kid’s sports. Sadly, I know that isn’t always the norm.

  26. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    Ha! I think I’m somewhere between #1 & #2. I consider myself to be a good sport and not too critical of either side, but I do have a competitive side. I get frustrated if the refs aren’t making good calls and I admit that I almost came through the fence last spring to give the coach of a softball team my daughter was playing a piece of my mind when he prompted his team to make a play that was, although legal, extremely unethical and rude even though they were already beating us very soundly.

    • Janine says

      Lisa, we are so lucky up to this point that the refs are teens just learning and try so hard to make the right calls, but still could see how that could be frustrating at the very least.

  28. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says

    Interesting and kind of funny!

    I’m not a sports parent. My daughters aren’t in team sports but rather are in independent sports. Although I’m certain my time will come when I’ll be on the sidelines… and I’ll be thinking of this post LOL.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

  29. Kaly says

    Funny! I’m a combo of 1 and 3. As long as my kids are being respectful and having fun, I don’t really feel like I need to be that involved. Happy to sit back and let them do their thing….while I do mine. Yes, I bring magazines and books to sporting events. With two boys that play four sports in many different leagues, I feel like getting them where they need to be is winning.

  30. Kelly L McKenzie says

    Oh my, my, my. Welcome to the wonderful world of the sporting parent. My particular fave from soccer was the soccer dad – also the coach – shrieking at his son “STOP!!! You’re playing like a girl!”

    And then in the swimming world – the father who refused to sit anywhere except at the end of the lane his daughter was swimming in. He was clutching a stop watch. She was 12. He was … an idiot.

    And then there’s the lacrosse mom who’s yelling at the 14 year old ref and me because I messed up the shot clock.

    Oh let’s not forget the world of water polo where the mother is stamping her feet because her daughter hasn’t gotten wet yet. The game is only 2 minutes in.

    Oh the stories you’ll tell ….

  32. Jack says

    It all depends on the sport and which of my kids is playing because I am often the actual coach of the team. If I am not I usually cheer loudly for the team and do my best to be a good role model.

  34. Sinea Pies says

    Janine, it isn’t easy to be a sports parent. I loved every baseball season with our boys. There was no problem being engaged in what was going on on the field. I really wanted to be there for our sons and didn’t want to miss a thing. Best cheerleader here. The trick is to let them have fun and not be an interfering parent. I’ve seen bad behavior from parents that is sickening. In our town there was even a dad who accidentally killed another dad. Yes. He lost his temper, got physical and the other man died. Horrible.

  35. Chris Carter says

    Oh this is too funny Janine!!! Cade has been playing soccer for six years- now on travel and the games are tough!! But you described the parents to a T!!! I try very very hard to be 1. parent type. 🙂

  36. Aunt Gloria says

    My guess is you and Kevin are #1s. It’s great that the girls are involved with sports and seem to enjoy it. Keep up the good work, Soccer Mom! xxoo

  37. Meg Hammil says

    Thankfully I appear to be a one, a skill honed over 13 years of summer league and high school baseball. Now that my son is off to college, I miss it. My daughter mostly did dance, choir and orchestra (although much of what you have written ringstrue there as well, but in high school has gotten into Academic Challenge/College Bowl, which brings out the competitive streak. (Although we don’t usually get to watch the matches).

    My number one rule was always to never contrafict their coach/teacher at the event/lesson. If I disagreed with something we could discuss it later, but I always told them to follow their leaders instruction.

  40. Camille says

    My kids are not in sports yet, maybe this Summer. 🙂 But they do gymnastics and I think I see all those types of parents there. I think I’m a number 1 parent… I really don’t like the super competitive ones. I once heard a parent tell her little girl LOUDLY that she was the most talented kid in the class. The point is for your kids to have fun people! I love seeing my kiddos make progress and I am very proud of them, but they are little kids! I don’t think we should start putting pressure on them or compare them to other kids at this point.

    • Janine says

      Camille, we haven’t done gymnastics yet, but was going to try this summer, but have heard this at dance and our sports, too with a few parents. And agree really at this age and even as they get older still what about just for fun?!

      • Camille says

        Oh it can be even more intense with dance. When Kay was in ballet at age 4 and 5 (so little!) parents were getting soooo competitive! It’s like seriously, just let the kids have fun!!

  42. Jen says

    Kids sports definitely bring on some opportunities for people watching at it’s best! My husband usually coaches and I always love the parents who think they can do it better, but don’t lift a hand to help!

  43. Leslie says

    We’re not in sports yet, but may be taking the plunge in first grade. We’ll see. Having absolutely no sports skill myself, there’s no way I could criticize another team or a coach. Don’t know if I’d be a model sports parent, but would try to be supportive at the very least. Though I do know some people who would blow up over their kids sports teams. Hopefully your kids’ teams will maintain a positive atmosphere through the years.

  44. Rea says

    I’m not into sports either but I do see my son being interested at it in the future. Most likely, I’d be the Model Supportive Parent! Hehe. But it can or may actually change, we never know. 🙂

  51. The Pinterested Parent says

    LOl! I would like to think that I would be the supportive parent, but I am sure other parts of me would pop out as I have a super competitive streak. I remember how hard it was for my mother with my little sister. When my sister finished high school, my mother was at first relieved & then she realized there went her social life. She had gotten so used to these games, she didn’t know what to do once they were over. Lol!

  52. Kenya G. Johnson says

    I am totally #3 at practices. It can be quite relaxing if I don’t have to pay attention or talk to anyone. But then I’m trying best to be #1 (definitely not 2 or 4) at games. There should have been a category for the quiet parent who cares and holds their breath the whole time out of anxiety for EVERYONE.

  53. Brooke of Passport Couture says

    Interesting observations. Although I don’t have children, I imagine there are many different things to watch while at a sports event with your children. I hope more parents learn to let children have fun and not worry about competition. I’ll have to take your quiz one day if I have children, I’d be interested to see what kind of parent I am.

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