Regrets I’ve had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemptionI planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way – Frank Sinatra
If I had to do it all over, would I change a thing or two with what I regret?
Maybe, but still then I might be living in some alternate universe similar to that in what was depicted in the movie, Back to the Future II, where Marty tried to change the course of history only to have his whole life uprooted and most definitely changed for the worst not the better.
Liza Hawkins says
I often say, “No regrets!” as long as I’m confident with my decisions and choices.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Liza, great attitude and way to look at regret π
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama says
What a great topic Janine! I have a lot of your similar regrets and the biggest one would probably be the high school drama although most of mine occurred in my early college years. I wish I would have know then that it was completely ok to let go of friendships because in the end it was better for all parties. I also wish I had slowed down with my eldest!
Janine says
Nellie, I am so with you on the friendships and if I know now what I knew then with that and so much more, but still I totally did fall into that trap in younger days, too!
Bev says
I’m the type of person who is often looking forward to the future and reminiscing about the past instead of enjoying the moment. Sometimes with Eve I have found myself looking forward to her being a bit older and more self-sufficient as well. Periodically I do remember to take it all in because it’s fleeting. As it is, she’s really no longer an infant and is a full-blown toddler walking all over the place. I have to remember to appreciate the wonderful things about this age while I can and not regret that I let them slip by me.
Janine says
Bev, I am exactly the same way and how I found myself here with so much of the girls milestones already behind me. Just truly don’t want the next few years and stages to slip on by me, as well though.
Seana Turner says
Yes, I think your regrets are similar to mine. I wish I had been more laid back as a child and done some more “fun” things. I regret that I didn’t hire a better photographer for my wedding- LOL! I’m glad that I’m not regretting some things that I know other people struggle with. But everything I was and did made me who I am today, and I don’t know what I’d be like if things had been different. So, here’s to looking ahead:)
Janine says
For us, I regret our DJ choice and totally missed that when I wrote this, but your comment reminded me that. But like you most of who I am (better or worse) is because of all my living and choices. So, like you I am happily looking ahead! π
Kristen says
I try not to live with regrets, but I do miss those precious baby moments. The first 6 months with the first were so hard I wished them away..
Janine says
I know Kristen those first 6 months seriously with my first were so hard and looking at her now, I truly wish I could have taken more of it in at the very least, too.
Joy @ Yesterfood says
Janine, you have done all of us a great service….to slow the heck down and smell the roses. Will the blog still be there? Yes. Will the dirty house still be there? Oh, yes. π Will the tiny baby or aging grandparent or even hubby still be there? Not guaranteed. Love you. π β₯
Janine says
Aww, love you, too and I agree so very much Joy. I am trying better with this now, promise!! π
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
Great post Janine! I am guilty of some of the same things – especially wishing away my pregnancies. I was not a happy pregnant lady! All we can do now, though, is learn from our experience and try to do it better moving forward.
Janine says
Lisa, so not a happy pregnant lady here both times either and seriously feel badly about that now, because I know I am never getting those days back, as we are done – stick a fork in that! π
C Lee Reed says
I regret only having one child.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I was totally wanting more then 2 myself, but now I have my hands full with what I have. So, two it is here!
allie says
I have similar regrets – especially wishing my childhood away! Why did I do that? I really do wish I could slow time down. I’m sorry to tell you but after 40, the speed doubles:(.
Janine says
Allie, that is my biggest fear and seriously don’t want things to speed up anymore then they are right now!!
Recipes For Our Daily Bread says
Look forward to checking out this post. sharing and thinking about my regrets!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Aww, thanks Diane and look forward to your thoughts, too π
Amanda @ Growing Up Madison says
I’m going to say that I do have a few regrets. I do wish I wasn’t in such a hurry to grow up when I was younger and took the time to really enjoy my youth. I keep telling my oldest the same thing. I’m sure she’ll regret it too. π
Janine says
I keep telling both my girls that, as well and think it is just something we come to once we just can’t go back to it sadly.
Bill says
There are some great messages in your regrets, Janine. Listen, hon, I could fill a book with regrets over my past as an alcoholic…..but then I’m cheating myself of the present, and I won’t do that. I don’t have enough days remaining to waste them thinking about shouldas, couldas and wouldas. π Happy Wednesday to you.
Janine says
Thanks Bill and I kept it simple here, but trust me I could probably fill a book, too. But like you trying my best to stay int he here and now. Happy Wednesday to you, as well!! π
Marcia @ Blogitudes says
I almost picked the word Regret to write about today, and my post would have been a lot like yours, Janine. I have most of the same regrets you mentioned. Feels like I spent my entire youth wishing away my life. My mom used to warn me not to do that, but I ignored her advice. Another regret. She was right, though. I needed to appreciate the here and now and stop reaching toward tomorrow with want and an urgency to get there. She also said I’d regret all that wishing away. And again she was right. I get it now … and regrets help remind me to slow down and better appreciate today. That’s a good thing about them – so maybe regrets aren’t so sad and bad after all. π Enjoy your today, Janine – and thank you for writing this beautiful post.
Janine says
Thank you so much Marcia and I know my mom always said similar to yours and finally just starting to get it now myself. Have a great day, too π
Diane Roark says
Janine,
I can relate to all these regrets too, especially not spending quality time with my father and grandmother before they pasted away. I also regret wishing my twin boys would grow up. It was so difficult having twins with one having so many health problems. I missed out on a lot of special times with his twin brother because I was dealing with Caleb constantly with health issues. Since then, I have been to everyone of his baseball and football games. Somehow, we have a great relationship and I am very proud of it considering he is a boy and 18 years old. I am having a lot of regrets lately though because he will being graduating from high school and leaving for college this coming fall. I would love to have more time with him. He is so busy with 5 college classes this year, drama, and now baseball starting he is never home.
Love on your babies always even when you are busy.
Blessings,
Diane Roark
Janine says
Great advice Diane and so trying my best now to do just that! Thank you and hugs π
Norine Dworkin-Mcdaniel says
I try not to think about regrets because it’s not possible to change the past. If I’ve hurt someone, I apologize and try to make amends. If it’s possible to do something about the situation in the future, I attempt to do that. If we spend too much time dwelling on regrets, we forget to live in and enjoy the Now.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Well said Norine and I really try not to, but this prompt just got me to admit somethings that I might not of I suppose otherwise.
Norine Dworkin-Mcdaniel says
It’s taken me a while to get to this place of not regretting the things I can’t change and working to change the things I can. I’m 4+ years in a 12-step program and the lessons learned really do apply to living life in general, not just drug/booze free.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Norine, I dated a guy back in the day that was in rehab and was in the 12 step program, so on a small level I could relate to what you just shared.
Norine Dworkin-Mcdaniel says
Not to hijack the comment thread, but … my sponsor likes to say, “Recovery is a gift.” It really is the gift of coming to know yourself and learning to discard old baggage you don’t need to carry around any more. This “gift” comes in shitty wrapping paper (addiction), but for those who get it, it’s a gift nonetheless.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Not hijacking at all and love that saying. Definitely makes perfect sense and thank you so much for sharing with me!! π
Kathy Radigan says
Life goes by so quickly!! I’m feeling this myself since I am soon approaching 50. I don’t really have to many regrets though, because each misstep brought me to a better place that I”m not sure I would have found otherwise. Thanks for a great post!
Janine says
Aww, thank you Kathy and I love the way you approach regrets here, too π
Kathy Radigan says
I am not that into regrets. I have made my share of missteps but each one brought me to a place that I’m not sure I would have found otherwise. Time does move much too quickly!!!! xo
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Kathy, truly am not usually, but still the prompt made me reflect and OMG to time just moving right along! xoxo
Rosey says
I was singing the song when I saw the title. π I love the note about brains over beauty. My daughter is so wrapped up in the latest looks, which is fine but it def. takes precedence over school, which is not fine. π
Janine says
Rosey, I was such a book worm before I entered high school and then I was too cool for it. Glad it was only a phase though and again just wish I knew then what I do know now.
Susanne Lewis Kerns says
I’m not sure if I’m lucky or forgetful, but I don’t have too many regrets – the only main one is not sticking with the violin in middle school.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Might be a bit of both and I never played instrument here myself btw, if that makes you feel better π
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
I have few regrets, but the ones I do are based in childhood. There are things I wish I did when I had the chance.
Janine says
Robin, I know there are quite of few things I wished I did do when I was a child that are definitely long behind me, too now.
Kristen Miller Hewitt says
I try not to live with regrets, but I do regret not enjoying those baby moments more!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Kristen, definitely with you on those baby moments, too.
Jessica Ullrich says
I regret not taking more naps before my babies came along, and also not savoring those baby moments amidst the chaos!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Jessica, I miss naps PERIOD! Seriously, I mourned them when they were gone.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
π π
Jessica Ullrich says
Hahahaha! Me too!
Echo says
I am right there with you on all of these. I choose not to truly regret anything because, good or bad, it has all gotten me here.
Janine says
Echo, I think that is a great outlook on this! π
Caryn says
I can identify with so many of your messages. I guess I try not to look at these as regrets rather lessons I learned later in life that make my world really great now. (On huge most part..) While I should have taken myself less seriously as a kid, enjoyed life with family and friends more and worked hard to achieve my teenage goals, had my path gone a different way (I bought I was going to be a TV reporter), I would be living somewhere else and likely wouldn’t have met my husband. So I tell myself this when I feel like I have regrets. Great post. Glad I found you.
Janine says
Caryn, I am so glad you found my blog today. And I know I have told myself this, as well that if I had taken a different path, i wouldn’t have ended up with my husband or had my kids, which I couldn’t ever imagine nor want to imagine either.
Rabia @TheLiebers says
I, too, wish I had lived a little more before getting married and settling down. I’ve honestly never been on my own. Ken and I dated all through college, go married right afterwards and then had kids. There isn’t much “me time” in my history. I don’t know how much that would have changed things, though, so I guess I’ll stick with the way things turned out!
Janine says
Rabia, I am with you and although I wonder, I am not willing to lose all I have now to change things. So I, too, will stick with the here and now π
Jen says
“But if I have one wish, maybe it is for time to slow down just enough for me to enjoy each and every stage more so now. ” I try to remind myself of this all of the time. Life goes by so fast and sometimes I feel like I missed it even though I was right in the middle of it. Thanks Janine for this lovely reminder to just that!
Janine says
Aww, happy to give the happy reminder and let’s hope we both can live up to this one π
Carrie Groneman says
BEAUTIFUL post my friend and very on target for all of us. Thank you for your honestly, as we ALL do this, in every single phase of our life’s. Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow
Janine says
Carrie, thank you for your kind words and seriously felt really good just to be honest here about some of my bigger regrets in life.
Jeannette Bellesfield says
I’m definitely feeling the lost baby years these days!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I know very much in mourning just slightly.
Kristi Campbell says
I have similar regrets Janine! I wish I’d realized how fast the baby days and pregnancy goes. I just wanted to have the baby and didn’t really enjoy pregnancy as much as I think I would now. And why are kids in such a hurry to grow up and not enjoy the lazy days when playing was our only real responsibility??
Janine says
Kristi, I have asked myself that question way too often now – way too often! No answer and just wish I knew.
Melanie Loveday Madamba says
I regret not participating in the challenge this week! Pukey toddler last night sidelined my writing time. I do have a dusty draft about regret, so I might try and link it up before it closes…..
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I hope you do and would love to see what you come up with. And sorry about the pukey toddler – never any fun at all!
Meredith Spidel says
Love that you do these challenges–what a cool way to grow yourself!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Thanks Meredith and they really are such a fun way to get the creative juices pumping π
Meredith Ethington says
I regret not thinking I was “fat” in high school. I give myself a big eye roll at that one now! π
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I know that feeling well, too!! π
Jack says
I’ll be 46 in May and I regret not enjoying parts of my thirties more than I did. I was so focused on some of the big things I missed enjoying some of the small but important ones as much as I could have.
Janine says
Jack, I know this feeling well as I will be 40 in two short years myself and not sure where this time and my thirties went.
Jeannine Ulasich Eubanks says
I do regret worrying so much about what other thought of me in my teen years. I could go on for a long time about that…
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Me too and trust me I truly am not sure anymore why I cared so much, but sadly I did.
Kim says
I definitely wished away those baby years especially with Jordan (my oldest) – I felt lost all the time and just wanted to get to the “easy” part – what a dope!!! Oh, well – I learned that lesson and have truly enjoyed all of these years. The teen years are by far my favorite and I’m savoring all of the minutes!!!
Janine says
Thank you for telling me that Kim and hope the teen years here are just as good π
Michele says
I really enjoyed this post. I am sure we all have some regrets. I also regret that I didn’t appreciate my daughters’ babyhood as much as I might have. Like you, I was an exhausted teacher dreaming of sleep. I also regret not enjoying my twenties and thirties when I was too busy working to notice what was happening around me. Ce la vie.
Janine says
Michele, thank you for sharing and definitely can very much relate but ce la vie for sure.
LINDSAY KLEIN says
Aw, you really nailed it with this one! I wish we could age like Benjamin Button and have knowledge earlier in life;( But, it’s all part of it! Oh and P.S. yay Sex and the City quote;)
Janine says
Lindsay, I love that concept and you know I can never get enough Sex and the City π
Laura Rossi says
Regrets are so tough!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Totally agree!!
Kelly Suellentrop says
I regret mall bangs. Ugh.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Trust me, so do I!!
Charlene @Teacherbytrade-Motherbynature says
Thanks for sharing! I like to think of my regrets as experiences! For too many years I held on to grudges and didn’t forgive others nor myself and it just ate me up inside. Once I learned to forgive (not forget), it felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! If i didn’t make the choices I made, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I have actually thanked people that have betrayed me, hurt me or broken my heart, because they made me a stronger person. I have learned from them and know never to let it happen again!
Such a powerful word – REGRET! I am learning to live life with no regrets!
Janine says
Charlene, beautifully said will say learning from our mistakes and not making the same mistakes is half the battle.
April G says
Every time I think about changing the past, I can only think how that might negatively affect the future, even with better financial sense. Would I have opted to give birth to 4 children if I just gave more thought to saving? I don’t know. Not sure I regret much,but definitely am trying to do things differently now.
Janine says
April, pretty much same and trying to definitely do some things differently, as well.
Cynthia says
Janine! Oh man! Just wanted to come by and say just how much I love you! I really loved this post. I think we all look back on life and maybe not want to necessarily change things, but wish that perhaps certain things could have worked out differently. Until we realize that our experiences are exactly what make us who we are. π
I bet you were a gem in your teenage years. π
But, I also wanted to drop a line and say sorry I’ve been MIA: life has me on a fun roller coaster. I can’t wait to write about it. Perhaps today now that I finally have a snow day. hehe.
Sending hugs, sweet friend! xox
Janine says
Cyndi, I absolutely love you too and ironic that you commented here as I just was thinking of you last night and was actually going to check out you FB wall as it dawned on me I hadn’t talked to you recently and was just hoping FB buried your wall posts (as they do often) and that all was OK with you. Can’t wait for your latest blog post to catch up now. And I definitely agree about our experiences making and shaping us into who we are today! Hugs right back at you xoxo π
Tamara says
What a topic!!
I definitely regret not enjoying my wedding planning more, or my wedding day. Or being engaged. Or even being married before kids. Sheesh – we still have our honeymoon period coming to us, right??
And I regret not enjoying those baby/toddler years more because now Scarlet is in full time kindergarten and I miss all that we used to do.
Janine says
Tamara, you said a mouthful here and yes here to so much of the above. Again time really has a way of flying right by us and as much as I know I have no right to complain, I still can’t help it with stuff like this, too.
lisacng @ expandng.coms says
The only things I truly regret are not showing more patience and understanding to my father before he was diagnosed with dementia. I had no idea he was suffering through that before his diagnosis. I thought he was just being difficult. *Sigh* Another thing I regret is not enjoying my eldest’s infant time because I was so stressed, sleep deprived, and focusing on the mechanics of being a mom instead of the love.
Janine says
Lisa, I was similar with my grandmother as she was getting more forgetful and truly wish I would have had much more patience there, as well.
Pam@over50feeling40 says
Thank goodness regrets can be left in the past and we can celebrate today! Thanks for sharing with the Thursday Blog Hop!
Janine says
I totally agree and thanks Pam for hosting again, too!! π
The Imp says
Yes, absolutely. The feeling of sand slipping faster and faster through the hourglass is something I’ve been dealing with lately. Trying to figure out where and how and when to best focus myself, without sacrificing other things. Juggling act to be sure.
Janine says
Total juggling act and some days I am barely keeping all the balls in the air if not at all!
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
Okay this is kind of eerie because your regrets are almost all mine! LOL – I’m nodding my head saying “YES!”
Oh how I wish I didn’t get wrapped up in teen drama too. What a waste. If only I knew how little it would matter.
Thanks for sharing. I get to know you so well through these one word posts!
xoxo
Janine says
Jennifer, I honestly couldn’t love you more if I tried and knowing we have so much of this in common too just adds to that. Thank you for sharing this with me and major hugs!! xoxo π
Aunt Gloria says
I think we all had those events and times in our lives when we wished time would go quickly….especially when we’re kids and Christmas and birthdays feel like they are eons away! Or when Monday rolls around and we’re looking for Friday to end the work week! Sounds like you are at a place now where you can enjoy and be in the moment. That’s part of “maturity” and time goes by so fast anyway, we find it not necessary to wish it goes quicker. So happy weekend and enjoy and savor each moment with your family. xxoo
Janine says
Thank you Aunt Gloria and hope you too enjoy your weekend xoxo π
Alison says
A wise friend told me once, to never regret the things I did, only the things I didn’t. π
Janine says
That is definitely great advice, Alison π
The Pinterested Parent says
I love this post Janine. It is unfortunate that you do not understand these things until they have passed you by. I wished away my pregnancy & my daughter’s infancy as well. I found them so difficult, but as time has gone so quickly I find myself longing for time to stand still. I did enjoy my wedding planning. I took a very relaxed approach. I finished everything quickly & promised myself that I was going to enjoy it & I did.
Janine says
So glad you did and like I said though still so wish I did, as well with wedding planning though, too.
Catherine Gacad says
i agree with so many of these. and you’ve enlightened me on my life today because i just want my baby to grow up and sleep through the night. i need to enjoy him being my little baby instead of wanting him to be so independent and grown up. it’s just so hard when i’m so sleep-deprived!
Janine says
Catherine, I remember the sleep deprived days still so well and as crazy as it sounds, I wish I would have took the time to maybe not enjoy it per say, but to at the very least not take for granted that both girls would grow up so quickly on me (if that makes sense.).
Kate says
I try to live without regret but it is definitely tough sometimes!
Janine says
Kate, it is so hard and definitely agree with you!
Kristi R Campbell says
GAH. I remember reading this from my phone, like almost a year ago now… and wow, it’s so hard to see all of the memories flooding by us, with some regrets and some amazing memories. I think I told you before that I have a tattoo that is “no regrets” but dang if that is harder to actually get than it is to ink on a body or DO.
Janine says
I do recall the tattoo and still love so much that this is what you chose. I can only imagine though how much harder it was indeed. And also agree about the memories, my friend, too <3
Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons says
What’s that Dr. Seuss quote – You don’t know it’s a memory until it’s gone?? I have some of these same regrets – I think they are all natural. I don’t want another baby, but now that I have teenagers, I definitely regret wishing away the baby days instead of savoring them more,
Janine says
I love that quote and you are so right, Lisa. Seriously, I am happy that I don’t have the baby years here in many ways here anymore, but still so bittersweet that I wished them away in hindsight.
Ruchira Khanna says
I agree on all the above pointers you have, J9. But then…I still ok with whatever I got inspite of those flaws…cause these flaws are also beautiful and makes me realize I am human with just the right kind of flaws π
Pssst…you looked lovely in that prom dress
xoxo
Janine says
Love your outlook, Ruchira and thank you also for your compliment, too xoxo π
Kenya G. Johnson says
Wow Janine! So many of these are true for me too! I was so busy “doing my job” of being a mom to an infant I can’t remember really enjoying it. Sure I have pictures and video of the fun moments but just the day to day, I often said, “I’ll be glad when he can do…” and before you know it they can and you really missed the transition.
Also the wedding planning, I made work out of it too instead of enjoying it in the cake tasting fairytale kind of way.
And I so wish my grandparents were still here just to be able to talk to them.
Janine says
Aw, Kenya, I am right there with you seriously on all of the above as I, overall, feel like I wished jus too much of the times away, especially the baby years, the wedding planning and most definitely my grandparents, whom I miss more than my heart can even express here. That said I feel like I really need to remind myself this more now to make sure I don’t do the same with the moments here and now. Hugs, Kenya <3