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Just In Time for Halloween~What Is The Scariest Thing About Motherhood?

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Never did I dream before coming a mother of all the truly horrifying and scary things that could occur. When I was pregnant with my first, I could not wait to lay eyes on her and I naively thought that I would give birth and come home to a perfect baby. This baby sleep and just be the perfect little girl.

Yes, I was afraid of childbirth, but my thoughts for after were anything but reality.

Because in reality, I came home to a real fright night totally fit for Halloween or any other scary night you could conjure up.

The Calm Before The Storm!
The Calm Before The Storm!

My perfect baby was so perfect the day we brought her home.  She wore her best take me home baby outfit, slept all day long, barely made a peep and was like every baby doll I had ever had as a child, except she was alive, a real baby, indeed not really a doll.

But then 11 pm hit that night and all hell broke loose.  She started to cry and just wouldn’t stop.  She screamed, turned herself red and even tried to throw herself out of our arms.  We tried everything that we could imagine to make her stop.  We changed her diaper, fed her, burped her and this just went on and on.  She finally settled around 3 am.  You read that right and it took 4 hours to get her to calm.

Emma had colic and this went on for months after night after night.  I still am not sure how I survived and this was truly my worst and first nightmare as being a mom.  And trust me a few meltdowns came from Emma, Kevin and me, too during this time!

Our first Halloween, Emma was a little over 3 months old and still knee deep in colic. She barely let me dress her up and not one smile. I remember just wanting to see her flash a smile, but no such luck.

Happy Halloween~Emma 3 Months Old
Happy Halloween~Emma 3 Months Old

However, it did get better (eventually), but then got replaced with teething, toddler years and then add in baby number two.  You get the picture even though one nightmare ended others followed.  Guess what?  More will follow still yet, too.

When I got asked to contribute to The Mother of All Meltdowns, I remembered thinking I have to pick just one.  I tried my best to pick the most recent that had happened, but trust me I had so many more I could have shared.

The Mother Of All Meltdowns
The Mother Of All Meltdowns

I was talking to a few of the women, who also contributed to this book recently.  One in particular, Lisa of The Golden Spoons, who suggested we pose the question: “What is the scariest thing about motherhood?” to our readers.  

The Golden Spoons

I then asked this question recently on my Facebook page and got some chilling answers.  Lisa also is doing an article on this today, so please stop by and give her some love, too.

So, if you are a mom or even a mom to be, read on to be truly frightened this Halloween by some of the answers, I did indeed receive.

  • Sophia from Twenty Five Seasons shared: “The scariest part about raising children? Oh gosh. I could go on and on. I wouldn’t want them to make the same mistakes I did. I don’t want them to lose their innocence too soon. Not only to sex, but in general. I want them to be able to be able to play outside without the fear of someone snatching them and doing vile things to their precious little bodies. Having their heart broken too soon. The fear of rejection and bullying. I fear someone would make them feel like they are not enough when I know they are all they should be. Like I said, I could go on and on. I almost lost my daughter because of bullies.” 
TwentyFive Seasons
  • Jhanis from Fascinations of a Vanilla Housewife wrote: “Running out of the house during a 7.2 earthquake, carrying your toddler and crying, because your other kid is still in school. This morning was the scariest thing I have experienced as a mother.”
The Vanilla Housewife
  • Amy from Consider Me Inspired told me that the scariest thing about motherhood is “The feeling of hoping you are making the best choices each and everyday for their little lives. I often worry about this; will they grow up to be faithful, giving, honest, confident, compassionate and as loyal as we teach them to be? How will they feel about the choices we made for them?” 
Consider Me Inspired
  • Ashlee from Willfully Disobedient told me, “Experimenting with solid foods has been pretty scary to me. Will he choke? Is he allergic? Am I giving him the right stuff at the right time? I realize it probably sounds silly to a lot of the seasoned moms out there, but my one and only is just 11 months old.”

  • Shelly also said, “I think each stage has a fears. I have a teen and almost teen. And right now, it’s hoping that they can take care of their own families, be successful. The thought of the economy, if they have student loans, if they choose not to go to college and work in a trade. Will it be enough? I never want to die someday worrying that my boys can’t provide for their own. It’s scary right now. And all the influences out there…. Omg! All you can do is hope for the best, and communicate with them as much as you can.
  • Kelly from The Real Housewife had this to say, “When I gave my 16 year old daughter car keys and allowed her to drive off into the world trusting her agenda.”  And then she added this when I responded, ” GPS BABY!”
  • Anna from Learn Like A Mom responded, “Losing your child, having your child kidnapped and being helpless, your child getting hurt, many, many worries that are just scary!”
Anna from Learn Like a Mom!

Thank you to all who responded and was so happy to share their answers here today.  

Happy Halloween to all today and I hope it is as scary as you want it to be.  

And For more scary motherhood stories, click here

Don’t forget to check out my web design company for specials running at J9 Designs for all your web design needs, plus we offer Paypal’s Bill Me Later, too!  And also, next week, stay tuned for a brand new Ask J9 Designs Article to help with your techy questions and don’t forget to ask your own techy questions, which may be featured in an upcoming blog article, too.

Disclosure Final

 

About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

    • Janine Huldie says

      Michelle, colic was the worst and having it with my first was even more awful in my eyes, because being a new mom I admit I was clueless. I trying breastfeeding and Emma wouldn't latch. But in the end it didn't matter, because she ending up having issues with lactose and soy, so she was put on hypoallergenic formula. Glad the change in diet helped you though and Happy Halloween!!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Ginnymarie and my younger daughter did this a bit, too and remember getting nervous, as well. Glad you stopped by and so true we could all relate to these comments and thoughts at some point being mothers.

  5. flemily says

    I can definitely see how colic could be a very scary part of motherhood…nothing feels worse than not knowing how to calm down your crying baby, I'm sure. I love the responses from your readers. I have a teenager learning to drive and nothing scares me more than getting in the car with him, with him driving instead of me! So far, I've been too chicken and have only allowed him to drive with his driver's ed teacher. But, I know I can only keep that up for so long!
    My recent post Going Through A Tough Time? Nothing Feels Better Than Helping Others

    • Janine Huldie says

      Emily, the thought of my girls driving scares the crap out of me and not going to lie. With them being only 16 months apart, I know I will be going through this pretty much fro 2 years straight when they first do start. Thank you for sharing here and Happy Halloween!! 🙂

  6. NuggetOnABudget says

    This was such a great idea for a Halloween post!! I wish I would have seen your Facebook post asking this question, because I totally would have responded. To date, the scariest thing about motherhood to me is handling two kids at once. Not during the nice, calm, times, but when they both are screaming or whining or just being bad/upset in general. Like at the doctor's office yesterday…GAH! I might need to write up a quick post on this today, we'll see 🙂 Thanks for sharing and love that pic of Emma in the pumpkin costume! I love that we all dress our babies as pumpkins lol. Happy Halloween!! xoxo
    My recent post october sponsor spotlight.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Totally wish you would have seen this post and responded, because your scare I think many moms can truly relate to (myself included). Emma actually was a butterfly for her first Halloween, but hated that costume so much that I don't one one real picture of her without her crying. My father-in-law actually put that pumpkin hat on her (it was part of a costume that Kevin's mom had on a cat stuffed animal) and actually worked better then the actual costume. Go figure!! Happy Halloween!! 🙂 xoxo!!

  9. tamaralikecamera says

    Happy Halloween, my friend! Colic is pretty up there with scary. The earthquake story had me shaking in my boots! I had so much trouble narrowing down a meltdown story for the book. In all honesty, there are just so many!
    My recent post Tenderheart.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Trust me Tamara I had more then my fair share if stories to chose from and still adding to them. So I think we definitely have that and more in common! Happy Halloween my friend!!:) xoxo!!

  10. day-with-kt.com says

    I think I was fortunate that neither of my boys had colic.
    Motherhood is full of scary moments – I think just sending my oldest son to high school for the first time this year (it is a big school – about 2000 students) was one of the top scariest so far.
    My recent post My Pre-Halloween Scare

  12. ourhomeonderanged says

    Poor Janine! I am so thankful we didn't have to deal with colic, because I cannot imagine listening to nonstop screaming for hours on end. I don't like to listen to them scream for five minutes, much less five hours! Great roundup of mom fears, too, because your mind will just run rampant with all the things that can go wrong.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks so much and you are so right about one’s mind running rampant with fears with motherhood. Just crazy all we can fear, as well as all we can go through.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks so much Crystal for giving me the opportunity to do this post today. I truly had so much fun asking this question and reading all the responses. And I only had the one with colic, too and was so thankful for that my second baby didn't have it.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Ashley, I am so with you on hoping and praying I am teaching my children right from wrong and being genuinely well behaved (treating others with care). Today, I was told by Emma's teacher just that (at their Halloween parade) and must tell you I felt so good hearing this. Just nice to know we do have impact and make a difference.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Rabia. I was lucky with our second for she escaped having colic thankfully, but I will say once you do experience it, you truly know the difference between a baby that has and one that doesn't. And you are right, I think we all have many of the same underlying fears for our children.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Dana, I am honestly not looking forward to that stage and my heart goes out to you. I taught middle and high school at one point. I truly remember that stage being the teacher not the parent, but all I saw and experienced I am know it is not an easy stage by any means and anticipate that I will very much have my hands full.

    • Janine Huldie says

      You were seriously lucky that not one of your 4 had colic. Seriously envy you just a bit for that. But love how you describe Madison and sounds how I would describe Lily at this point. She is adorable, but definitely a little beast at times. Happy Halloween again to you, too!!

  18. Lisa @ Golden Spoons says

    Yep!! The possibility of losing a child is absolutely the scariest thing about parenting. I know many parents who have gone through it and I cannot even imagine. However, that earthquake story is pretty frightening too! Thanks for doing these post with me – it's been fun!
    My recent post The Scariest Things About Motherhood

    • Janine Huldie says

      I couldn't agree with you more and my great-aunt actually had this happen before I was ever born. I still here stories about her son and makes me so sad to think what they went through at theta time. So glad we did this together and thank you for including me!! 🙂

  20. stephanie2006 says

    Oh dear, colic sucks. Violet was sensitive to lactose, which obviously crossed from my diet into my milk. Poor girl was horribly bloated, she almost lifted off from all the gas in her poor little tummy. So glad for my wonderful midwife, as soon as I cut out lactose, she got better, and about a year later, she'd overcome the sensitivity!
    My recent post Happy Halloween!

    • Janine Huldie says

      So glad you had your midwife to help you with that and amazing what lactose can do to some babies. I know Emma had both issues with lactose and soy. So, really the poor thing just had no other choice then to have us go with hypoallergenic formula that contained neither of these. Thanks for sharing Stephanie!

  21. notinjersey says

    the scariest thing for me would have to be having one of my kids get very sick. I have a friend whose 6 year old died from cancer and that just scares me like crazy!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Oh god Dara that does sit in the back of my mind as a huge fear. I mentioned earlier my almost 90 year old aunt lost her 9 year old little boy the aplastic anemia back in the 1960s and still not sure how she made I though that loss.

  23. gigigirl says

    My hat is off to all of you out there raising children in today's world! It is scary…..children aren't safe anymore. And they are exposed to so much that makes them too knowledgeable about the world before they are really ready. It was kind of nice to grow up in a safe place with people you trusted. Bullies always existed….and unfortunately always will. You do the best you can raising your girls….and so far, you and Kevin are doing fine! xxoo

    • Janine Huldie says

      Thanks Aunt Gloria and think you are totally right. Definitely was a simpler world even when I was growing up. But you are right that we will try our best in raising the girls! Love you xoxo 🙂

  24. Nellie says

    oh my gosh I totally know exactly what this is! My first born was colicky and he was so hard to get to bed. Every single night it was non stop crying. All night. It was brutal. At one point I put him down and went in a corner and cried. I totally thought I simply could not handle it. After 3 months though–and that 6 week smile–things were normal.
    My recent post NaBloPoMo, I can’t quit chu.

    • Janine Huldie says

      Nellie, Emma did smile, but very infrequently until almost 6 months and I just remembering it breaking my heart every so often. Now, I can't stop her from smiling from ear to ear, but back then what I wouldn't have given for more smiles!

  25. vitatrain4life says

    Ah the joys of motherhood! It's terrifying!! From the day I found out I was having twins, right up until this moment. I don't know how you survived with a colic baby. That is so awful. My ONLY saving grace with the twins was that they were good sleepers and were sleeping from midnight to 6am by three months. This was a great idea for Halloween. Mothering is the scariest job ever!
    My recent post Run to Your MailBOX!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Allie, I so would have taken twins that slept like yours at 3 months old over one with colic. For the 1st year of her life, I am not sure I got more then 2-3 hours of sleep at a time and I was pregnant again when she almost 7 months old, so trust me sleep was a rarity for us. And you are 100% right mothering at any point or stage is indeed the scariest job!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Angela, I am so sorry to hear that your second daughter had colic and will admit so worrying that our second would, too after having our first have it. Someone smiled down on me and gave me the exact opposite as far as babies with my second, who literally would squeak for her bottle during the night, drink it and go right back to sleep. I am not joking, when my husband and I took her home from the hospital she was so quiet in the back seat that we both almost at the same time asked, if there was indeed a baby back there. But seriously, colic has a way of making you second guess everything and meltdown more times then not. Thank you for stopping by, sharing with me and buying our book. Also, can't wait to hear that you published your own book, too. Please let me know when you do 🙂

  27. Chance of Wine says

    I remember telling a friend i was scared about childbirth when I was pregnant, and she told me that childbirth is NOTHING compared to the first 3 months with a newborn. I thought she was being negative. As it turns out, she was RIGHT!

  28. stephrufa says

    I worry about everything: that they will get sick, that they will be hurt by someone, that they will be kidnapped, that someone will take them from me or I will be not paying attention for a second and they will be seriously injured. I think about their futures and jobs, debt, happiness, marriage, children and the realities of war, the economy, etc, etc, etc, the list goes on and on. It's all scary the hardest part is being positive and kind and hopeful and loving despite all of the fear.
    My recent post My Meltdown, Inspired by MoAM The Book

    • Janine Huldie says

      Stephanie, I know what you mean, because if I sit down to long and think, my mind definitely wanders and of course I can totally conjure up the worst. So trust me I can very much relate and thank you for weighing in here.

  29. Anna says

    Thank you for including my comment from your facebook post. Thanks for linking back to Learn Like A Mom too. The hardest thing sometimes about parenting is all of the stuff that is out of your control that could hurt them or take them away from you. I hate to even think about those things, yet we hear stories about it every day when we turn on the news.
    My recent post $1,000 Christmas Cash Giveaway!

    • Janine Huldie says

      Totally my pleasure in linking back to you Anna and thank you for sharing on Facebook with me. And I know what you mean and trust me so much is out of our control, but when you start thinking about it, it is truly scary!

  31. Tarana says

    Scared is definitely one of the emotions I felt when I brought home my baby. Maybe I am a little paranoid or just over-sensitive but the thought to letting go of my little toddler's hand scares me a lot. It's a bad world out there and I just can't relax about it.
    My recent post Five pet peeves of toddlers

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