Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you
And I’m wondering what it is I should do
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losing control, yeah I’m all over the place-lyrics from Stealers Wheels’ Stuck in the Middle
Being the mom of more then one child, I truly do feel sometimes like I am stuck in the middle of my two kids being pulled in two opposite different directions more often then not.
As much as these two love each other, they still each want me to themselves and don’t want to share leaving me stuck in the middle…
One such instance happened to me recently, when I had to drop Lily off at pre-school at the same time that Emma’s kindergarten ‘Wingo’ was taking place. Bad enough, I had a deadline work related looming, but now I had my mom duties creeping up and each kid needed me in two different places at the same time.
Emma during a kindergarten class party where I wasn’t stuck in the middle to attend…
Normally, I could lean on my mom (grandma) to drop Lily off at school, but she was under the weather and not up to it (flu season people is all I have to say!) and add on top that the day before when I picked Lily up from pre-school, we had an issue that her Frozen Elsa hat went missing.
So, I was on a mission to make sure the teachers would find, as Lily described the missing hat to me, “The case of mystery of the disappearing hat!” (yes she is a tad bit obsessed with Mickey Mouse Club House).
Once the mission at hand was dealt with, I came home and got right down to work, but the whole time my heart was breaking. Trust me, I usually there for most of these types of school activities for Emma, as I am class mom – so I know I shouldn’t feel so guilty, but damn I just felt so raw from the knowledge that I couldn’t be there.
Then, during my quiet time where I was knee deep in work, I began to reflect on times when I felt this stuck in the middle mentality creep up upon me, especially when I got a picture messaged to me of Emma sitting happily smiling with her friends at Wingo by another mom and friend (my heart swelled to see she was indeed happy, but the guilt still was overwhelmingly tremendous on my part).
However one thought that crept into my mind actually happened almost 5 years ago (this was the first and one of the most memorable times ever for me that I was stuck in the middle of my two kids), when I was pregnant with Lily, hospitalized for 2nd trimester spotting, which ended up putting me on bed rest for about a month or so afterwards.
But during the hospital stay, which I was pretty much forced by my doctor and husband (kicking and screaming) to indeed be hospitalized to find out the cause of this spotting, all because Emma was only recently a year old and never left her over night – ever (again first time I had to do anything like this to Emma).
It was then, while I was bawling my eyes out to my nurse that I asked, “Is this what it feels like to be stuck in the middle of your two children? I feel like I am caught between a rock and hard place!”
I will never forget what this nurse answered me either, as she was already a parent to three of her own children and told me, “Honey, that is exactly what it is to be a mom to more then one kid. You get stuck in the middle often enough and will get used to it, but still have your moments.”
She was so right.
And this was definitely a moment for me for sure – a memorable (stuck in the middle) moment.
Other moments, which might not be as memorable, but still have left me stuck right in the middle, mostly occur when the girls are fighting over toys and not wanting to share.
In the last month or so, the biggest arguments have been over sharing the one iPad mini Santa brought for them, but any little toy will certainly do and has been more then receptive for these types of squabbles leaving me as you already figured out stuck right in the middle of the melee.
Again these while not the most stuck in the middle earth shattering parenting moments for me, still do as I said leave me caught in right in the middle of the girls.
However, the trick here is how I try my best to say out of the cross-hairs and remain neutral like Switzerland. And yet, even after almost six years of being a mom and almost five of being a mom to two kids, I still haven’t gotten this one completely figured out the stuck in the middle moments as the above recent happenings prove..
And yet in the end, I think even if I do get stuck in the middle of my two girls that it is how I deal with the aftermath.
Such as with the aforementioned missing of Kindergarten Wingo, which I have made a date for the following weekend when work and school doesn’t beckon to either of us to either see a movie or go roller skating – Emma’s choice.
Crisis averted this ‘stuck in the middle’ time out, but trust me as the nurse told me all that time ago, I have gotten used to, but still will have more ‘stuck in the middle’ moments, when I do I will be sure to listen this song below just for added effect…