Never thought I would say this when I was first pregnant a few years ago, but I was that kind of mother today that just wanted to shut my kids up and tune them out. We were driving home from picking up Emma from pre-school and Lily was screaming and crying in the backseat of the car for juice. I didn’t bring a cup with me with something to drink for her and she decided in that moment to scream and whine the whole car ride home like she was being murdered. Emma was whining a bit, too, but thankfully she knows for the most part when to quit while she is ahead.
But for Lily, I know this is probably a mommy fail. But to be honest, since she has been potty training, I try not to give her anything in the car, because I don’t want to have to make unnecessary stops if I don’t have to. I think other moms can attest the potty trip in public restrooms is not a fun trip even on a good day.
Back to Lily and that fateful car ride, where first I tried reasoning with her by saying, “We will be home from school soon.” When that didn’t work, I then threatened her by saying,”Gingerbread was reporting back to Santa and no presents for Christmas.” And of course, that had no effect and she still was screaming and crying in the car (that damn Elf really doesn’t seem to be helping this momma out!). So what is a mom to do? I put the radio on and gradually kept increasing the volume until I drowned out the little beast in the backseat.
First, I was listening to Bruno Mars new song, not going to lie so very catchy (yes, I am 35 going on 15 sometimes with my music preferences). Then, came the new Matchbox 20 song. And after that, was a holiday classic favorite, with “Its the Most Wonderful Time of The Year,” by Andy Williams, which was truly ironic considering the fact that it was anything, but the most wonderful time for anyone sitting in the car with Lily screaming. But here I was singing at the top of my lungs, wishing that quiet time would befall my car from the backseat when all was said and done.
Unfortunately, that only happened once I pulled into my driveway and we made it into the house for the aforementioned cup of juice, which seems to have the same calming effect on Lily as too much as Valium would have on a nervous housewife in the 1950’s. Once again Andy Williams springs to mind, with this same housewife calm from her valium listening to his music. The irony truly is uncanny. Sorry, but just couldn’t resist.
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Jane Marsh says
I've had stretches in my life when I've refused to take the kids anywhere in the car because, you know, infanticide is bad.
You do a wonderful job with your blog; yours is the only one I follow daily. I just don't have enough time to follow the others daily…..but you are worth the time daily for sure. 😉
Thank so very much Bill. My mom reads my blog and actually read your comment to me. She was so amazed at how kind you and all of those who read me are. She also told me how lucky I am to have a friend like you. Seriously, I couldn't agree more and I know I have said it before, but thank you for being just you. I can honestly tell you I feel the same way about your writing and as crazy as it is here and always try to do the same for you, because I respect you and also very much enjoy reading what you have to say, too!!
Gina Adams says
That was an awesome post! I think Santa might need to put some valium in your stocking.
Stacy Harris says
Sounds like my night last night… I took the kids to Karate and then as we were leaving my son decided he was going to roll in the dirt… and then he took the first five minutes to spit at me while I was driving…. and when I told him to knock it off he didn't listen and when I got louder he started screaming… but usually I use your method… you know – turning up the music and tuning them out. But my son has actually figured out how to scream louder than the radio now. I need a new method! Duck tape anyone 😉
Thanks Stacy for the advice of duck tape, lol!! Seriously, I could use some of the quite often (joking), but sounds like you could truly relate and my heart goes out to you as well. Got to love this age, I suppose, but sometimes not so much!!!
Audrey Howitt says
I must say I don't miss these days! I like the valium idea though!
Thanks Audrey and the valium thing looks better and better sometimes I suppose, lol!!
Emily Cappo says
Oh I've been there with the turning-up-the-volume-on-the-radio-to-drown-out-the-screams…it's the only thing to do sometimes! At least you still have a sense of humor about it too…And, Congrats on receiving the blog of the year twice — you absolutely deserve it!
Thanks Emily for saying that about the blog award (still kind of shocked anyone thought me worthy twice over). Kind of glad to know I am not alone in the turning the music thing up, because I was thinking god these people must think I am so not mother of the year material. As for the humor, I try, because it is either that or go quite mad of my mind!!
Kids have their days, Janine. Thus, to keep myself festive…I also tune into 96.5 (christmas songs 24/7) Good luck, Girl 🙂
Stephanie Sprenger says
The image of listening to The Most Wonderful Time of the year with Lily screaming had me laughing. Boy can I relate! Such a funny post …little beast, Valium in the 50's…ha!
Thanks Michelle and right now she is napping (always a good thing) and is peaceful and quiet!! As for Bruno Mars, happy to know I am not alone in being a fan 🙂
Thanks Kelly and please now that I truly appreciated you awarding me this one. Getting it again made me truly feel loved and know that I have a real friend in you. You really are such a wonderful, loving person and just so very thankful that we met the way we did. Also, I am honored that you thought me worthy of it again, because I was surprised the first shot out, but the second was simply amazed that someone (you) thought I deserved it once more. Seriously, thank you and you have left me in tears twice today (both happy reasons, but still tears!!!).
Thanks Terrye. Seriously, I never though valium would look so good, but if I do get, will pass some your way for the DVD-less car trips. Fun times, not, lol!!
Thanks Ruchira and so true. Like your listening choice and may need to find me a station like that here 🙂
Thanks Stephanie and know as a mother you can most likely relate, but again thanks for letting me know I am not alone on this one 🙂
Oh Jane, you reminded me of how Emma as a colicky infant would scream and turn herself red having to be her car seat for even more than 5 minutes. How I survived that and didn't commit infanticide one may never know, lol!!
Thanks Gina and I wasn't sure what to ask the big guy for but know it is becoming clearer by the moment, lol!!
Thanks Amy and it is too cold here right now to open the car window, but will remember that one for spring time, lol 🙂
Hahaha…I imagine myself doing the EXACT same thing…I do that and I don't even have kids. HAHAHA. Awesome post and thanks for the info about your hubby working for Canon #so cool
Thanks Cyndi and seriously when you have kids you will only want to make it even louder to drown out the screams, lol!! As for Kevin, my pleasure passing on. And FYI, he gets a company discount 🙂 🙂
Thanks Vikki and happy to know that I am not the only one who limits drinks in the car, lol!!
Thanks One FunnyMotha and I think you are probably onto something with drowning out their talking, too. Lord knows, I am sure as they get older I will want to not here the she said, she said stuff!!
Thanks Melanie and at this point I just couldn't agree more, lol!!
Lol, Richard. Looks like your wife and I both have good taste in music. But alas, you sound just like Kevin with having to drown my lovely singing out. What can I say, but I will never sing like a choir of angels. Oh well, still love to sing even if I make a damned fool of myself. Tis the season, lol 🙂
The Dose of Reality says
Car rides especially in the afternoon are just pure mothering torture. Great post!
Thanks seriously The Dose of Reality and have to completely agree with you on this one, lol!!
Thanks for the very young Andy Williams treat! A trip to the past…..xxoo A mom's got to do what a mom's got to do and you did what had to be done!
Thanks Aunt Gloria for this and so much more. My pleasure sharing a young Andy William's, too. By the way, I am going to e-mail you hopefully tomorrow and the time has just gotten away from me lately!! xoxo
Thanks for saying that Terrye 🙂