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The Top 10 Bedtime Excuses According to A 5 Year Old

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“I’m afraid of the dark.” And so it goes most ever night with my 5 year old.  She has been afraid of the dark now for some time. Plus, this is just one of the many bedtime excuses she uses.

Still we have tried pretty much everything. This Includes traditional night lights to light up pillow pets to glow in the dark stars to even Boon Glo Nightlight with Portable Balls.

Still pretty every night, she will go to bed just fine after we read a book together.  She shares a room with her big sister.  So, she has a friend essentially to hang out with attempting bed time.

By attempting, I clearly mean that these two talk girls chat, giggle and more while trying to supposedly fall asleep.

But usually the 6 year old falls off to sleep first.

The irony here doesn’t escape me. Why? See the 6 year old pretty much didn’t sleep her whole first year of life with colic and bad teething.  But now she is the first to fall off and pretty much never hear a peep from her again until morning.

Yet the 5 year old was my good sleeper as a baby. Plus, she pretty much was sleeping soundly through the night by 6 weeks old.

But still once this happens, the 5 year old now is left to her own devices.

5-year-old-bedtime-excuses

This is when I usually get her climbing out of bed and into my room to share her tale of woe. So many bedtime excuses!

I have heard it all with afraid of the dark being the top contender. But still mostly this little lady is full of bedtime excuses as to why she can’t go to bed at night.

Some of my all-time favorite bedtime excuses, I thought I would share here. Why? Because clearly this one has a vivid imagination. See she will stop at nothing to keep bedtime and sleep from really occurring at any cost.

The Top 10 Bedtime Excuses According to A 5 Year Old

The Top 10 Bedtime Excuses for My 5 Year Old…

  1. I want another hug and kiss from you.  (I couldn’t be bothered needing either while I am busy playing all day. But since I should be sleeping, why not now!)

  2. I can’t see you.  So, I had to come in to see you once more. (Mind you, your bedroom is right next door to me. Plus, I can hear you moving about in there or watching TV.)

  3. I need a tissue, because my nose is running. (My sleeve works just fine during non-sleep hours!)

  4. You have to lay on my floor as I try to fall asleep. (This is usually directed to her father. Why? Because I have a bad back. So she knows ,if I lay on her floor I might not get back up.)

  5. I just want to sit in your bed for a few minutes. (And if I just so happen to fall asleep here, maybe you won’t move me. Even if I am kicking you in the face at 3 am!)

  6. A sip of water would hit the spot right now.  (I won’t drink plain water ever as I am so not a fan. But since it is bedtime why not!)

  7. I forgot my Mickey Mouse (stuffed animal) in the other room. So, I can’t sleep without him.  (Never mind that you reminded me ten times before bedtime to make sure he was in my bed!)

  8. Am afraid of getting older.  Can we stop my birthday from happening? But don’t forget the presents.

  9. I wanted my Kindergarten Star Day in November and am upset over this. (I know it is December and her Star Day is February. But still November has a nice ring to it!)

  10. My blanket fell off. So, I need you to put it back on. (Yes, I took it off to get up to come to find you. See this is no real surprise, but still!)

Top-10-Bedtime-Excuses-According-5-Year-Old

What bedtime excuses have you heard lately? #kidexcuses #parenting

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I could go on. But then again bed time is coming at some point today. So I am sure we will get more bedtime excuses to add my ever expanding list!

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    My kids have come up with them ALL. I get so sick of the bedtime struggle sometimes.

  2. Kathy Radigan says

    Janine I have heard them all too, my favorite being, I just need one more hug so I can sleep!! It’s frustrating now, but it’s also something I know I will miss !

  7. Diane Roark says

    Janine,

    She is in no way tired or she simply wants to be close to her mom. Probably a little bit of both. Does she take an afternoon nap? It is so difficult at that age to do away with their nap because they really need it but at the same time if they get one they are not tired for nighttime. She probably just loves her mom so much that she wants some extra time.
    I do love all these excusses now. When I was missing so much sleep and begging my kids to go to bed, it was not fun.
    Many blessings,
    Diane

    • Janine says

      No nap here as she is in kindergarten full time, all day long. She also hasn’t napped since she was a little over 2 years old and gave them up cold turkey on me. But still, she does love me and do agree on that. However, I do wish she would go to sleep easier, because she is miserable getting up for school in the morning because of this. Total vicious cycle here. Thanks Diane!

  8. Bill says

    Not only the top ten excuses that all parents have heard, but oftentimes will hear three or four in a single night. 🙂 Happy Monday my friend.

    • Janine says

      Couldn’t agree more and yes have most definitely heard more than once many times nightly, too! Happy Monday once again, Bill 😉

  9. Dana says

    Kids are so creative when it comes to excuses for getting out of bed! I don’t hear excuses anymore, but they just go to bed so late…

    • Janine says

      Alexa, Jelly Bean and my youngest could be best of friends with this it sounds like, because yes it is pretty much every night here, too!!

  11. Echo says

    Oh man, I am right there with you! I hear all of these and more! My kids favorites are “I need to tell you something” and “I have an itchy spot, will you look at it?”.

    • Janine says

      Echo, “I need to tell you something” is one I have totally heard. The itchy not so much, but the week is still young and never know what I will hear next!! 😉

  13. Rabia @TheLiebers says

    Bedtime excuses are so much fun, aren’t they!?!?! My boys always want me to sit with them, which is normally fine, but sometimes my timing is off and I try to sneak out before Ben is asleep and he gets mad.

    • Janine says

      Rabia, just when I think they are asleep they so aren’t and totally have been on the receiving end of her getting mad at me, too.

  15. Bev says

    Haha, these are pretty entertaining! It’s amazing what kids will do to try to get out of things. Good thing she’s cute, right? 😉

  16. Seana Turner says

    I remember all of these! And they come at at time of day when Mom and Dad are sort of at the end of the patience spectrum and just want the kids to sleep! A common one was, “I’m not tired”… to which I would say, “Well, I am tired, so you need to go to bed.”

  17. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says

    Aww this was sweet and hilarious. I thought I heard every excuse… but afraid of getting older? LOL that’s a first! I love how she makes sure to say not to forget the presents though.

    This was awesome. Thanks for sharing friend!
    xoxo

  18. Jen says

    It’s like you had a magic viewfinder and could see straight into what happens in our house EVERY. Single. Night.

    Or kids must just live by the same play book? Well played, children. Well played.

  19. Jack says

    I miss those excuses now.

    There are nights where my teenager is doing homework and I tell him to remember to turn out the lights and lock up before he goes to bed.

    Reminds me of how I used to say it was funny how good water tastes at night when you don’t want to drink it during the day.

  20. Sharon, The Mayor says

    OH, the wonderful joys of motherhood. My three little ones also have chimed these words also. My absolutely favorite was “Spiderman is on vacation tonight, can you fight the night dragons for me?” Umm, no. Mommy needs lots of sleep.

  21. Courtney says

    These sound familiar. Also…
    -The closet door is open. (Actual: open 1/4 inch…)
    -I forgot to say “bye” to Libby at school. (Six hours ago.)
    -F (the toddler) is asleep in my bed. (When she says this, it’s true.)

  23. Tamara says

    haha! #8 is endearing. I love that.
    I remember coming up with dumb questions to ask my mom so I could sneak out of bed. Like, “How do flowers grow?”

  26. Aunt Gloria says

    You gotta give the girl credit for being creative! You may want to remember this time when she becomes a teen and won’t get out of bed! That’s our Lily! xxoo

  28. Camille says

    She is hilarious! I imagine it must drive you nuts at the time though. Bryn gets up a million times too, but always has the same reason. She wants me to sing to her. And she always wants the same song over and over and over, lol!

    • Janine says

      It does totally Camille and I could add singing Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer now to this list as that was last night’s new request LOL!! 😉

  29. Leslie says

    Your girls’ sleep patterns sound just like ours! Our 6 year old didn’t sleep through the night until she was 11 months old, but the 3 year old slept through the night within the first couple months. But now the 3 year old keeps the 6 year old awake at night. We definitely get the potty excuse these days, and the “I want another hug” and “fix the blankets”. Most nights we’re not ‘done’ until 9:30 or 10, in part because of her shenanigans. If you ever figure out how to make them stay in bed, let us know of your magic!

    • Janine says

      Aw, Leslie sounds like you do have it similar to us here and if I ever do find the secret to this, will surely pass it on! 🙂

  30. Emily says

    I give her a lot of credit – those are some GOOD excuses! I promise you you’ll laugh about this when they are teens (and then you’ll have other things to aggravate you )..

  32. Kenya G. Johnson says

    These are so typical. Even now at almost 11 years old Christopher’s procrastination is a little more sophisticated. He waits until bedtime to have meaningful conversation. I know from friends that we are light years away from him not talking to me at all (which I can’t even imagine) so I just keep the dialog open while rolling my eyes in my head that he had ALL afternoon to talk to me.

    The second one on your list made me laugh. Just recently I woke up to Christopher tapping me on my forehead and his face close to my face. He said he couldn’t see me and that’s why he was so close, because I jumped when I opened my eyes. I asked why he didn’t turn on the light and he said, “I didn’t want to wake you.” Yet his whole tapping on the forehead thing was to say, “Goodnight”. It was one of those nights that I said I was going to bed and for him not to stay up too long (a Friday or Saturday night)

    • Janine says

      Kenya, I am smiling so much after reading this as it sounds like Christopher is truly very similar to Lily and now I have pretty good insight what to expect as she does get older as she is truly my chatty child and could so picture her at bedtime wanting to talk my ear off as an excuse, too!

  33. Lindsay Klein says

    Oh man I can’t wait to hear what my little man comes up with! I’ve heard it all as super aunt it’s hilarious!!!! I have to try and write them down to show them later in life 🙂

  34. Deborah says

    I have five children, and believe, I have heard them all. The most recent favorite is that it’s too hot/cold. And the water issue, they can never have enough water at bedtime. I loved this post! I’m sharing it on Mommy Crusader’s facebook page, and I’ve also pinned it.

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