I am a terrible liar.
Even my husband will tell you to play me in a game of poker or even a game of trivia crack, because my lack thereof of a poker face would win my opponent big time.
Truth be told, I believe it stems back from when I was a kid, slightly younger then Lily and told my first lie to my father.
I believe I shared lightly about this here, but will elaborate a bit more today.
I was outside playing when I somehow got into the crayons and instead of coloring on paper used my dad’s car bumper as my canvas.
As if that weren’t bad enough, the car, in question, was a company car.
See as a kid my dad worked for General Motors for a local Oldsmobile dealership.
Every six months, he was allotted a new demo car as part of his annual salary from his place of business.
So, he didn’t even own this car that I had decided to showcase my artistic abilities (OK even then I was no Picasso!).
When my dad finally saw my latest creation, he called me out and confronted me.
Instead of confessing, I quickly thought on my little feet by announcing that my neighbor (a young girl that lived two house down from us) had done it.
My dad wasn’t buying it though.
It was the first time, I attempted to lie and I failed miserably.
As, he quickly broke through my reserves and I sang like a canary that it was indeed me who had left my mark on the back bumper–The truth set me free in essence.
I was so young, but still will never forget what my father said to me next.
The words he imparted upon, me still live on.
He told me, “If you lie, you will get get punished. But if you tell the truth, you won’t.”
It was so simple and yet so direct.
I was a little girl, who didn’t want to get punished for doing something wrong and he broke it down to my level easily that day.
Because of that, I have a very hard time lying since that day.
Maybe it was always who I was, but I often wonder if it had much more to do with my father’s words that day.
It is similar to the age old psychology debate of nature versus nurture.
But do believe that my father’s lesson on telling the truth did indeed shape me more then he could ever have imagined or bargained for the day he uttered those words to me.
So nurture, surely won out that fateful day with me needing to speak the truth rather then lie.
However before having my own kids, I only saw it from the eyes of a daughter, but now as a mom I see it in a whole new light.
I realize that what I say or do speaks volumes to both my girl with certain lessons, such as being honest and telling the truth.
Hell, pretty much everything and say or do is up for grabs; Even getting repeated word for word by Emma in her anger.
Yet, kids have a way of learning at the foot of the master so to speak.
Right now, I am it–for better or worse.
So I figure when I speak, I better make it count and last.
As quite possibly someday in the future, my girls will have a similar tale to share of how they felt some words of wisdom (maybe even about truth) that I imparted upon them left a correlative mark on how they act or behave.
Truth be told, isn’t that the job of a parent – to mold and raise their own children to know right from wrong?
[Tweet “What truths about #parenting do you hold? #1word @TheGoldenSpoons @Blogitudes”] In the end, I can’t only hope to aspire to this level of respect and regard from my own kids in the future that I have now for my own parents.
This post was written for the One Word Blog Linkup that is hosted by Lisa of The Golden Spoons, Marcia of Blogitudes and yours truly, too.
The words for this week are: Lost or Truth; Please feel free to linkup and join us this week.
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Bev says
It’s so true! One of the biggest parts of being a parent is molding these little people’s lives and setting an example for the type of people we hope them to turn into. It’s a big responsibility!
Janine says
Bev, it is a huge responsibility and somedays I just pray I am not screwing it up too much!
Lindsey Renninger Schuster says
I told my son the same exact thing the other day! I still don’t think he told the truth right away but I’m pretty sure he thought about it hard… maybe he will think twice next time!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Lindsey, I bet he will – at least judging from how I reacted to this statement all those years ago!
Lindsey Renninger Schuster says
I hope!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Fingers crossed! 😉
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
Love that story! We tell our girls that frequently – the punishment will be less if you tell the truth up front. Then, you may get punished for the “crime,” but if you lie, you get punished of the “crime” AND for lying. I remember lying once to my mom, too. I broke a glass and thought I would be in big trouble. I tried to clean it up and not tell her, but I cut my finger. I wrapped it in a paper towel and went to hide in a closet!
Janine says
Lisa, I love that you tell your girls this and think it is the perfect way to go about handling lying. As for the finger, why is this something I could have so seen myself do and fail at miserably?! Seriously, we really are so similar and couldn’t love more that we are 😉
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama says
Isn’t it so funny that parents can see right through our lies? I don’t know how they do it but they do!
Janine says
Nellie, I know and I am really starting to get a better glimpse of it from the parenting side now, too, which is even more insane, but starting to make that much more sense!
Liza Hawkins says
Great lessons – we tell our kids the same thing. 🙂
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Thanks Liza and I have started the same with my girls. Just hoping it sticks now!
Jhanis says
Parenting is such a big responsibility! I truly hope I am doing the right thing! I would want my kids to grow up into honest and caring people!
Janine says
Jhanis, I feel the same and just hope and pray everyday that I am doing more right then wrong here for my girls!
Diane Roark says
Janine,
I was just talking to my youngest last night and this morning about lying to us. She lies about everything. It is so difficult to get her to trust us and tell the truth. No matter how much we encourager her to tell the truth and tell her she will be in FAR LESS TROUBLE for telling the truth. She still makes up a huge lie.
HELP!!!!!!!!
Blessings,
Diane Roark
Janine says
Diane, if I could send my dad your way I would! But seriously, I wish I had an real answer, but will say just keep trying and don’t give up, because I have a feeling that if you are persistent and keep on her that you will be pleasantly surprised and find that you have definitely made an impact on this and so much more. Hugs to you, my friend and got my fingers crossed! 😉
Meredith says
Janine! This is gorgeous: “So I figure when I speak, I better make it count and last.”–and that pic of you and your girls? BEAUTIFUL. Thank you for sharing!
Janine says
Thanks so much Meredith and everyday I keep trying to remind myself that line, because sometimes I still am so not sure if I am making an impact, but still hope I am.
Susanne Lewis Kerns says
Good timing – just had to have a discussion about someone secretly using lunch money toward the popcorn & snacks. 🙂 Not ‘lying’ but also not ‘telling’
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
We had that here a few months back too, but it was ice cream instead of popcorn and snacks!
Alison says
My 2 1/2 year old is already telling porky pies! Sigh.
Janine says
I know it just starts younger and younger!!
Rabia @TheLiebers says
I tell my kids that they get in trouble for doing wring, but they’ll get in trouble twice if they lie about it. And they know the punishment is lighter if the ‘fess up at the right time.
Janine says
Rabia, I think it is so important to stress if they lie the punishment would be far worse. So couldn’t love more how you handle lying with your kids, too.
Bill says
I was thinking of my years teaching while I read this. Boy oh boy, did I ever hear some great lies in the classroom….I saw through them all, but I give them credit for their imaginations. LOL Happy Hump Day, Janine.
Janine says
Bill, so did I as a teacher and maybe that is the book I should write about, lol!! Happy Hump Day right back at you!! 🙂
Meredith says
I tell my kids the same thing! And, I’m a HORRIBLE liar too, which is why I was always better off just doing what was right as a kid. Ha!
Janine says
Me too, Meredith on both fronts and seriously I was a goody toes shoes, because I was truly just that bad of a liar that it wasn’t even worth it!
Marcia @ Blogitudes says
I couldn’t agree more, Janine! I love your post – especially your story and the lesson you learned and always remember from your dad. I think it definitely IS a parent’s job to teach children about truth and the consequences of lying. I’m so glad my parents stressed this lesson. So glad yours did, too – and that you’re carrying on the lessons learned to your own children. Their futures will be brighter because of it. And I bet they will indeed remember and be thankful that it was you who showed them the way. Excellent post, Janine! I loved it! 🙂
Janine says
Aw, thank you so much, Marcia and I definitely couldn’t agree more. I am honestly so thankful that I had two wonderful parents, who taught me right from wrong at a young age and am hopeful I am doing the same with my girls now to the best of my abilities! 😉
Jack says
My daughter is a storyteller like her old man. I often tell her that there are no benefits or prizes awarded for being able to fool people about little things and that sometimes I don’t call her out when she knows she is lying because she knows I know.
But I have also made a point to make sure she understands the importance of being trusted and that it is even worse when you lie to yourself.
This parenting thing can be tough sometimes, but you are damn right about the importance of trying to teach them right from the start.
Janine says
Jack, I smiled at your comment, because my husband is a very honest man, but truly similar in that he is a great storyteller and often actually wonder why he doesn’t blog (but that is another story). Still, I agree so much about teaching our kids right from wrong from the start, too.
Echo says
Be hind all great kids are parents who are sure that they are screwing it up! I am one of those parents that is pretty sure she is screwing it up! I love your story and I could picture it in my head, lol!
Janine says
Echo, trust me I am worry each day how much I may be screwing it all up! So you aren’t alone in the least, my friend.
Michelle Liew says
And as they say, J9, the truth sets us free!
Janine says
Definitely agree, Michelle and actually almost titled this post that!
Gingi says
I can’t remember the first lie I told.. but I do remember plenty of early lessons on honesty and truthfulness from my father too! Great post.. your little girls are so lucky to have you! <3 – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
Janine says
Thanks Gingi and think your daughter and soon-to-be daughter are extremely lucky to have you, too!! 😉
Gingi says
<3 <3
Janine says
<3 <3
Lauren Baker Cormier says
So true! We tell our kids that if they lie, they’ll not only get the consequence for whatever it was, but they’ll get another one that’s worse for the lying. So far their lies are pretty minor, but hopefully they’ll learn that it’s not a good way to go!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
I got hope here for my kids, too as I have been saying similar now too them, too!
Rosey says
Yup, it’s in our unwritten contract to love, protect, shape and mold them into fine young human beings. 🙂 If my son even starts to tell a tale I break out the ‘Pinoch’ word, short for Pinocchio. He laughs and then tells the truth. 😉
Janine says
I love that you have a code word for it and truly made me smile on that one, Rosey!! 🙂
Jill Ginsberg says
I used to concoct the most complicated lies when I was little to try to evade trouble. It was exhausting and even when I thought I succeeded … I never really did! I use my own anecdotes to let my kids know what NOT to do. It’s so much easier to be honest, and it feels way, way better. Hopefully it sinks in:)
Janine says
I hope it does sink in and I have a feeling if I would have tried to lie as I was growing up, my lies would have been crazy and would have been seen through immediately though, too! 😉
Jill Ginsberg says
I’ve got one that likes to experiment with stretching the truth. Like last night, he tried to convince me that his toothbrush just doesn’t get wet when he brushes. Poor guy almost seemed to believe himself:)
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Oh man, I can introduce him to my 4 year old, who truly comes up with some winners herself! 😉
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
I am not a very good liar, either. It’s not only the guilt, it’s that I can’t keep it all straight.
Janine says
Robin, I know I just can’t keep it all straight either if I tried!
Meredith Ethington says
I tell my kids the same thing. 🙂 Left you a comment.
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Aww, thanks Meredith and heading over to my comments to check now 🙂
Kristen Miller Hewitt says
We have this problem too – my daughter tells me fibs about school everyday!
Confessions of A Mommyaholic says
Kristen, I can’t always get a straight answer here either and can relate totally!
Seana Turner says
I’m a terrible liar too, Janine. I had one bad experience that pretty much sealed the deal for me as well. But I’m great at keeping a secret:)
Janine says
Seana, I am also great at keeping a secret, too. Love that we have both in common 😉
Jen says
Once when I was little I accidentally knocked the rearview mirror off of my sister’s car. I was appropriately deemed the culprit, but still didn’t fess up. Obviously I am a terrible liar too. My mom had a favorite saying when I was growing up, “With kids, it is NEVER anyone’s fault!”
Janine says
I love your mom’s saying!! 😉
Chris Carter says
Oh you are so sweet and I LOVE that you are also so honest!! I too, am a HORRIBLE lier!!! Derek always says that even if I ‘thought’ about having an affair, I would immediately run to him to confess. LOL
We are THE role models for our kids right now- as they grow, I pray that our example will shape those very values we hold dear. Honesty is a BIG one in our house.
I love your dad’s ‘incentive’. Tells it like it is!!!
Janine says
Chris, I love that Derek says that about you and you are right we so are the role models with this and more with our kids.
Sarah Nenni Daher says
To me, teaching little ones the power of trust is more important than discipline (at a young age) and I love that your Dad’s message was simple and honest in itself. I don’t want to stifle any creativity, but our little one will be taught that honesty is the basis for any lasting relationship.
Like you, I sure do hope she looks back and remembers the message as well as the method. This was wonderfully written and I just love that picture of you three!
Janine says
Sarah, thank you so much and very much like your approach to this, as well 😉
Aunt Gloria says
I know you will steer the girls in the right direction and they will be as honest as you and Kevin. We all need to tell a little white lie once in a while, particularly if it protects someone from hurt feelings. You do a great job as Mom! Lots of love, xxxxoooo
Janine says
Aw, thanks you always, Aunt Gloria and truly just try my best!! Love you, too!! xoxo 😉
Janine says
Christy, a wall would have probably been a bit of a better idea, but I totally colored his bumper instead! Have a great rest of the day, too!! 🙂
Kim says
Growing up the #1 thing I got in trouble for was lying!!! I have huge issues with people who lie to me now and can’t tolerate it. I have pretty much told my boys what your dad told you – telling the truth there may be some consequences but lying will get you in big trouble for sure!!
Janine says
Kim, I would never have pictures you lying but do love that you don’t tolerate it from your boys and how you have handled it similar to how my dad did.
Jeannine says
What a great memory! We also tell our kids that the punishment will be less severe if they tell the truth. That’s a hard one though, because sometimes it is really impossible to tell if a child is lying.
Janine says
It can totally be hard to tell, but usually my kids aren’t very good at sticking to it if they are lying and can then see through it.
Kristi Campbell says
I was totally shocked (and a little bit proud because you know) the first time my son actually lied to me. It truly is such a part of growing up though and I think you handled it perfectly and love how you told the story of your own childhood with a crayon on your dad’s car!
Janine says
Kristi, I do very much agree for parenting moments, such as this, it is all in the way you handle it. 😉
Dana says
I keep telling my kids that if they lie, we can’t trust them. At their age, that trust is essential if they want to be able to do things with their friends. Sometimes I don’t even understand why they lie about what they do!
Janine says
Dana, totally a right of passage, but still I never had a shot at that age even if I would have tried.
Alexa says
This made me goliggle.
Janine says
Aw, thanks again, Alexa. 😉
Jennifer Quinn (@JennyQ) says
Wow! You certainly were a smart little one – for being so young and being able to think on your feet so quickly. Plus, the fact you remember it from that age is amazing! Your Dad sounds like he was a great parent. That’s so awesome. Loved your post!
Janine says
Thank Jennifer and I am always amazed at what I can still remember all these years later.
Corinne Rodrigues says
It’s amazing how things our parents told us stay with us! I’m sure you’re doing a great job with your two lovely little girls, Janine!
Janine says
Aw, thanks so much Corinne and I know there are just some things I will never forget from when I was a kid with my parents and this is just one of them 😉
Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says
LOL you coloured on the bumper of your dad’s company car and then tried to blame a neighbour?! LOL – too funny.
I love the words of wisdom your dad shared. What a fine example of how to deal with lying in young children.
Thanks so much for sharing. I enjoyed this so much!
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Janine says
So glad to share and I know I really was a character as a kid! Have a great weekend, too xoxo 😉
Tamara says
I am a terrible liar too. Just awful.
Scarlet hasn’t lied yet, but one of her friend’s moms was telling me the most hilarious story about her son lying. And she thought, “Am I raising a sociopath or a genius??” It was funny at the time..
The truth will set you free!
Janine says
OK now that totally made giggle and thank you for that after yesterday!!! 😉
Rea says
Truly, the truth will set you free. And our kids will always have us as their great role models. Your father’s words are indeed true!
Janine says
Thanks Rea and I do very much agree 😉
Joy @ Yesterfood says
Janine, I love this so much. Even if you can’t play poker because of it. 😉 What a beautiful testament to your dad that a single sentence from him pretty much changed your life, and for the better. I did a version of this with my kids when they were teens. When they would go somewhere at night I would tell them, “Please. Do not drink (or whatever) and drive. Do not get in a car with someone who is drinking and driving. Call me. I don’t care what time it is. You will NOT get in trouble. Call me and I will come after you and anyone else who wants a ride and you will not get in trouble. Just call me.” (Of course, for years, we also talked about not using anything in the first place, but this was my backup. Because teenagers.)
Janine says
Thanks Joy. And my parents were also similar to you with drinking and driving rules in our home, too as I got older.
Pam@over50feeling40 says
You are such a good storyteller with an important lesson here. I am now re-learning the importance of these things as a grandparent. Thanks for sharing with the Thursday Blog Hop!
Janine says
Aw, thank you Pam and I really love being able to share stories from my youth and reapply them to my own parenting now, too 😉
Catherine Gacad says
words of wisdom from your dad! i want to pass that along to my son as well. great post, janine.
Janine says
Thanks Catherine and have no doubt you will do this, too 😉
The Pinterested Parent says
I am a lousy liar too. I was never able to pull it off. It was father also that had me so that I was afraid to lie & now I just don’t feel right about it. My daughter is at the age where she has begun to tell tall tales when she does not want to get in trouble & I say to her the same thing that your father said to you. I hope that she understands it as she grows & learns that she does not need to lie to me or to anyone else to get ahead. Great post Janine & again I missed your link up. This was a rough week & I way behind on everything.
Janine says
No worries and trust me I know it has been crazy here, too! Just happy to see you stop by now 😉