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What’s in a Name?

Filed Under: BLOG, Emma, Family Life, Kids Posts, Life in General, Married Life Tagged With: , ,

“You should have gotten married after Frozen came out.”

“Well, that was quite a few years after dad and I did get married.  If we did, then we wouldn’t have had you when we did.”

“Still, I would have much rather been named, Elsa then Emma. So, you should have waited to have me, so you could have named me Elsa.”

“If we would have waited, you most definitely wouldn’t have been you and might even have been a boy.”

“How is that possible?”

“Never mind, that is a conversation for another day indeed.”

“Well, then just call me Elsa now instead, OK?”

Still, I was quite blown away by this above conversation with my almost 6 year old daughter, Emma as we recently ate breakfast.

In one instant, I was brought back to the early days when I was barely pregnant, still not knowing the sex of my unborn child, scouring baby books for the perfect girl or boy name.

On the fateful day just about halfway through my pregnancy, I watched my beautiful baby come across the screen during the sonogram that was to tell us whether we were team pink or team blue.

This is the sonogram where a myriad of different measurements are taken, as well as a grand sweep of organ systems to make sure all is working properly, as well the time to first find out the sex of your baby (if you so choose).

All looked absolutely perfect with our baby’s health.  Then the time came for the grand reveal, we were questioned if we would like to know.  We both conceded a big fat yes and the tech calmly took her online cursor to point to the baby’s genitalia, there in black and white we saw three lines and the noticeable absence of a penis, which denoted that we were in for a world of pink, because it was indeed a little girl I was carrying.

What's in a name?

With tears of joy in my eyes and heart, as well as a massive lump in my throat, I whispered, “Hello Emma Grace” – as this was the name we had decided upon if a little girl was in our future.

Yet now, I was now being told that I made the wrong decision in my choice of names by the little person, who didn’t apparently get a vote all those years ago.

This got me to thinking though, my girl, although not completely grown by any means, is no longer a baby and is most definitely her own person with her own mind full of likes and dislikes.

When I was pregnant with her, I had all these dreams and aspirations for the child, I had yet to even lay eyes on, but now years later I still have my hopes and faith in what lies ahead for her.

How did we get here?

[Tweet “More things change the more they stay the same w/mothers and daughters #parenting”]

The cherub face toddler, who believed I placed the moon and the stars in the sky just for her, as well as the sun when she woke each morning, now is beginning to question me on one of my first and best duties as her mom.

So now, I may have to concede that I am more a guide then the sole person, who gets to make the call on all the toughest of choices to come her way.

Yet no apologies for my earlier name decision; nor will I be calling Emma, Elsa any time soon!

So it goes, that as mom I was given the privilege and honor to bestow her name upon her. 

Like it or not, this is her name for better or worse.  Probably the first of many things, she will blame me for (especially in her teen years).

Hell, I wished for years, my mom named me Jennifer instead of Janine (it was the 1980s and Jennifer just happened to be the number one girl’s name), but as stubborn as I am, I have grown to love my name, as it was the name my mom picked out specially for me (thanks mom!).

At the very least it seems, we come full circle and the more things change the more things apparently do stay the same with mothers and daughters.

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About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Bev says

    I definitely had a period when I was younger where I did not like my name. Do you know how many Beverly’ there are our age? Not many! I think I even toyed with the idea of going by my middle name, Lisa, instead. Now I have come to embrace my name, as I am sure Emma will too one day 🙂

    • Janine says

      Bev, I sure hope does, as well too and you probably think I am crazy, but when you said your full name I immediately thought of the author Beverly Cleary! But still like you not many Janine’s here when I was younger, too.

  3. Meredith says

    I so agree with Robin and you too–naming a child is a hugely important task! And darn Frozen, I am sure there are boatloads of little girls requesting to be called Elsa daily! 😉

  6. Diane Roark says

    Janine,

    Every girl seems to go through this name thing. I know my oldest daughter want to be named Ariel. She insisted on us calling her Ariel. Carly was named after my dad Carl who passed away just before she was born. Caleb and Jonah were named because I had always wanted a Caleb and Jonah. They are great bible names. I do wish we had not named my oldest son Casey. We did not know if he was a boy or girl. So my husband talked me into Casey which is also a good baseball name. He hates everyone thinking he is a girl.

    Anyway, A name is so important and I am sure the meaning of Emma is perfect for her.

    Thanks for sharing! You always crack me up.
    Blessings,
    Diane Roark

    • Janine says

      Aw, thank you again Diane and definitely smiled on Ariel and I also do like the name Casey, but can see that it could be either a girl or boy’s name. But still we picked the names we liked and did good 😉

  8. Andrea B. says

    I think all little kids “change” their name at least once or twice. 😉

    Mine hasn’t yet, but I fully expect it any day now. She’s too busy naming all her toys after herself. If she changed her name she’d have to change their names, too.

    Her middl name is Grace, also, btw. <3 it!

  9. Echo says

    Names can be so funny. Especially when you have one like Echo! When I was younger, I always wondered why I didn’t have a “normal” name and now, I am so glad that I have my name. I also remember when my son was 3, he told me I gave him the wrong name. He was supposed to be Alligator instead.

  10. Alexa says

    So far none of my kids have said they don’t like their name, but my Ella (who I almost named Ella Grace!) will pretend she’s someone else and have us call her a totally different name sometimes. It’s pretty funny. I’ll say “Ella” and she won’t respond. Then she’ll say, “I’m Gracie, NOT Ella.” LOL.

  12. Bill says

    I am quite happy with my name. I’m willing to bet your daughter will love her name in time. So goes life, Janine. All I know with all certainty is that you love your daughters. All the rest is window dressing as far as I’m concerned.

    Have a great week, my friend.

  13. Amanda @ Growing Up Madison says

    TBH there is a lot in a name. I’ve given my kids all traditional names and I seriously hate the names that some of these parents come up. I don’t think they think about when the kids grow up and start looking for jobs etc. I personally love Emma’s name and while Elsa might be hot now, I don’t think it will be in a few years. 🙂

  18. Carrie Groneman says

    Janine, you are fabulous as always! A name is so important but we chose what WE like and our kids can chose their kids names – that’s what we tell our kids anyway, lol. GREAT post!!! Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow

  19. Lauren Baker Cormier says

    I have a feeling you’ll be right about things coming full circle. When Frozen fever finally subsides, I bet she’ll be happy you didn’t name her Elsa!

  21. Rabia @TheLiebers says

    I’ve always loved my name and I’m pretty sure my kids like theirs too. They do enjoy pretending to be other characters and I have had weekends where I couldn’t keep track of which name I was supposed to call which kid!

  22. Allie @ The Latchkey Mom says

    What a sweet story. The name game is so complicated. We sweat it out for nine months (in most cases), but when they’re here we just know. I can’t imagine my children being any other name than what they are. She will come to love her name, because you chose it:)!

  24. Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly says

    Oh, Violet’s the very same, she has days where she wants to be called Elsa, even though she never actually mentioned that we should have waited having her 🙂 This fever will pass, and most likely be replaced by a new , potentially even more annoying one, so I try to enjoy it as it lasts 🙂

  25. Jen Kehl says

    I totally wanted to change my name when I was 6. I made my mom sign me up for summer camp with my middle name, Lauren. I wound up going to that camp for 11 years, so now there is a whole faction of people in the universe who call me Lauren!

    • Janine says

      Jen, I so would have taken your name. Seriously, I so wanted to be a Jennifer or even Jen, but totally get it and yet still couldn’t believe my girl was voicing her own displeasure in my name choice. Go figure! 😉

  27. Jen says

    I love the name Emma Grace! What a sweet story, but oh my goodness! I think you picked right as when she grew up she would have questioned your sanity in naming her Elsa, because everyone has that name! Our children do cause us to grow, stretch and question our sanity on a daily basis 🙂

  28. Dana says

    As if you would have named Emma “Elsa” even if Frozen had come out before she was born! My kids haven’t complained about their names, but Gwen’s middle name is my maiden name…she’s not too fond of that. Tough, kid!

  29. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says

    I went through the hating my name phase too. I was begging to change my name because I hated that I was one in a billion Jennifers (I actually wanted to be named Emily or Emma – funny hey). Anyway, my parents sat me down and said that I would be able to change my name. They started the process for me… and for over one week they called me Penelope. I was so upset – I begged to be Jennifer. LOL

    Thanks for sharing this story – I’m sure one day Emma will love her name.
    xoxo

  30. karen says

    love that conversation you had!!! too cute!!! Think Emma Grace is beautiful! For many years I wanted to be named Cara Mia, LOLOLOL

    Tony wanted to name our son Vincent ( from the Godfather) or Santino because he was mad about Vincent. I really wanted Marcello or Jackson. I’m glad we chose Anthony Jr!

  31. Seana Turner says

    I wanted a variety of names, including Lauren and Valerie. Pretty much anything but my name, which most people mispronounce. But now I like my name. Impressive that Emma was able to articulate those thoughts – pretty cool, Janine!

  33. Kim says

    Love the conversation with Emma!! The crazy thing is Emma is a very popular name!!! Just wait till a princess has that name:)
    I always wish I had a more fun name – in high school spanish we had to pick a spanish name so for 2 years 1 hour a day I was Raquel – loved it!!!

  36. Sinea Pies says

    When I was a little girl, I didn’t like my name. I wanted to be called Sam. Surely that was because the TV show Bewitched was so popular. So, I had my teacher call me Sam. It worked until a new kid, a boy, moved into the neighborhood and joined our class. HIS name was Sam so the teacher made me go back to my real name. I got over it. Took a number of years before I realized that I had a pretty good name, though no one ever can pronounce it if they see it spelled first. LOL

  37. Kristi Campbell says

    OMGOSH the name conversation. First, before Tucker was born, I wanted him to be Carter but my husband hated it (I still love it) and Tucker was the only name we agreed on. Were he a girl, he’d have been Chloe or EMMA!! For real. Anyway, Tucker’s girlfriend is Emma (mostly because she’s in 6th grade and he’s in kindergarten)…

  38. Jessica @ Absurd, She Wrote says

    Beautiful. We had the name before we had the baby. But I somehow *knew* we would have a girl. Husband did too. We had dreams individually that we would be having a girl first. So it wasn’t a huge shock when the ultrasound revealed a girl at 20 weeks.

    The name – Husband picked Olivia. I loved that he felt so strongly about it and we never disagreed. I picked Grace as the middle name, since it took so long for her to come to us, that I felt certain she was a sign of grace. So, Olivia Grace. Her name is very meaningful for us.

  40. Joy @ Yesterfood says

    I think we all take issue with our names at some point….a part of differentiating ourselves as individuals, or to present ourselves as we want to be seen, I think. Then we learn to do that in other ways. 🙂 Another thought-provoking post, Janine- thank you! 😉

  41. Chris Carter says

    Aw! I love this post! You are at that turning point of the many that will come… slow independence from us mamas isn’t ever easy, is it? I’m just glad Frozen is what’s going on these days and Elsa is the chosen name she loves!! There are some others through the years that would be cringe-worthy! lol

    That Emma will realize sooner than later, how much her name is TIMELESS and PRICELESS and PERFECT for her. It truly is a beautiful name, Janine!!

    • Janine says

      Aw, thank you Chris and I know I am starting to see more and more daily that I am at a point where we are heading into new phase with my girls, which is both exciting and scary all the same, but still have faith that things will turn out the way they should hopefully in the end.

  42. Kenya G. Johnson says

    LOL. It’s just a phase. When Christopher was all into dinosaurs he said we should have named him Rex. I would have chose differently but my husband proposed the name AGAIN after countless time during my labor pains and I said, “FINE!” His name is very popular. Including him there were three on his football team. Just last week a new student came to his class another “Chris”. I told him if he had of stuck with “Christopher” he might be more unique. I’ve always loved me name. I did give out the fake name Denise if a boy asked me and I had no interest in knowing him. I love the name Emma. That might be my daughter in law’s name for all I know. There are two other girls but at school Emma is the one Christopher has know and had a crush on since kindergarten.

    • Janine says

      Kenya, you just never know and definitely sounds like Emma is in the running in Christopher’s eyes though at the very least. And my brother is named Michael, but shortened it to Mike for his friends (PS my mom hated it and still does – she still calls him Michael and he is almost 32 years old!).

  43. Eli@coachdaddy says

    It’s a stage of childhood – or adolescence. I’ve almost written about it. I wanted to be anyone but me. When you’re in fourth grade and known just for being goofy, you wish for something more. I wanted to be Woody Woodpecker. Steve Austin (The 6 Million Dollar Man.) Hell, I wanted to be a mix of Daryl Hall and David Addison (from Moonlighting).

    sooner or later, you realize the name your parents gave you is yours, and being you is the best thing ever.

    • Janine says

      Eli, all the time I have known you I never thought of David Addison from Moonlighting, but now I can’t stop thinking about it. Definitely would have watched Moonlighting more if you were him. But still, like you I agree that sooner or later, you do appreciate that your parents picked out your name specially for you and even feel more comfortable knowing that you are you and also makes you more aware of where you came from.

  45. Leslie says

    Well, this is just too funny. I don’t know what I’d do if either of my girls said they didn’t want their name. Though I definitely spent some time wanting to change my name when I was a kid. Jennifer and Elizabeth were both huge back in the 80s. Now it’s great to have a more unique name. (P.S. – Janine is a great name)

  46. April G says

    I wish I could say that I loved my name, but I love the name Nicole… I even love my middle name more Noelle. From the jokes that I still have to endure by “clever” people, to the meaning of openness and spring, it just doesn’t fit at all. :/ oh well, I’m way to old to change it. I prefer the name MOM these days.

  47. Jack says

    My daughter is named Emma too. A while back she asked me why we picked such a popular name and I told her I didn’t pick it because it was popular, She asked me if I had any suggestions for dealing with multiple Emmas in class and I told her we could change her name to Johnson Johnson or Moose Mustard.

    She said those were both ridiculous and I agreed with her and then I told her I thought it was silly to worry about whether other girls had her name because they weren’t her.

    I guess that was good enough because I haven’t heard her talk about changing her name for a good four years now. Just one of those things that comes up sometimes I guess.

    • Janine says

      Jack, we also didn’t name our Emma, because it was popular just loved the way her full name, Emma Grace sounded and pictured a classic beauty to be honest. But your suggestions of what you daughter could change her name to definitely were awesome and can see why she dropped it for once and all. Will have to remember this if my Emma brings this up again. So, thank you 😉

  48. Rea says

    Janine, reading your conversation with Emma just made me crazy! Gaahhh. I can’t imagine her saying those things. Hehehe. I love the name Emma Grace like I love Emma Watson as she is! Doesn’t she love Emma Watson? LOL. I can’t remember wanting to change my name ever. My mom said that she wanted us to have short and easy to spell names.

    • Janine says

      Rea, I also wanted short and simple, but also stay a bit on the classic side. So, for me Emma was perfect and I am so not sure though what she is thinking other then Frozen mania! 😉

  49. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    She’ll change her mind about what she wished she was named a lot of times throughout the years.

    When she’s a teenager, she will probably babysit for someone named after Elsa from Frozen and come home to tell you that she’s glad you didn’t do that.

  50. Tamara says

    I definitely had my friends call me Claudia when I was a kid. It lasted a whole day! Tammy didn’t feel quite right when I was older, so luckily for me, the name on the birth certificate is Tamara!

  51. Patrick Weseman says

    I picked my daughters name. She did not believe why I picked it. I had always loved the name and then I associated with a famous person who went through trials in his life and while going through them, he always smiled and worked through them (his last name is her first name). She got to meet him a couple of years ago and told him that she was named after him, not for his fame or what he had done but for going through what he did with grace and overcoming it.
    She got a pic with him and he looks at it whenever she is going through something.

    FYI: I am not a fan of my name.
    http://csuhpat1.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-market-st-prototyping-festival.html

    • Janine says

      Aw, I absolutely love this and definitely an awesome way and reminder to have your see the wonderful person she was named after. And by the way my husband’s middle name is Patrick.

  53. The Pinterested Parent says

    Awww Janine. This is so beautiful. I love this. I am not going to lie. I started to cry a bit at the end. It is scary to realize that they are getting older & soon they will more & more question our decisions. At 3 my daughter already is disagreeing with me. It doesn’t seem that they understand that we are acting in their best interest until they become mommies themselves. I love the name Emma by the way. When I was little I wanted to be Lisa. But as I was named after my mother, I now wouldn’t have it any other way. Mai as you know was also name for my mother. Mai was my mom’s name within her Asian community, I hope that she realizes how special this is.

    • Janine says

      Aw, Kim now you have me shedding some tears from your comment and have faith will know as she grows up how special her name also is as I was her wonderful, grandmother’s. Hugs 😉

  55. Gingi says

    Haha, so Frozen mania has reached your little ones too, huh? My 19 month old is crazy about it – I didn’t even know Disney COULD snag kids that young! haha.

    I think everyone goes through a “you should have named me this” phase. Little Emma will come around to her name, you’ll see. 😉 – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

  56. The Imp says

    Yep. I get flack from Diva all. the. time. about her name. Both the one on her birth certificate, and the ‘Diva’ thing.

    What amuses me both is I’ve had her whine, “I am NOT a DIVA!” complete with the foot stomp, sulk, and hair toss.

    No, of course you’re not. Nooooope.

  57. Aunt Gloria says

    I remember wanting my name to be Barbara (my middle name) and did not like Gloria. Eventually I came to accept it and Gloria it’s been. I also like my brothers calling me “G” – kind of being special in an inner circle! I guess it’s part of growing up and coming to terms with our identity! I know Emma will come to like her name because it does suit her so well. Elsa is a fad right now…..this too shall pass! Saw the post about “Trollops” and will look into it further….good for you! Was great visiting today and catching up. See you in May! Keep up the good work and love to all. xxoo

  60. Chris Carter says

    Ha! And years from now Emma will be all “Oh gosh mom, I’m SO glad you didn’t name me Elsa!!”
    Right?

    I just adore that your girls are so into the princesses!! That is just so precious!! So far, my kids have not challenged me with their names… WHEW!! 🙂

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