Some days I truly feel like I should just have never left my bed in the morning. This was one of those days and will tell you that even though it started out quiet that it was anything but as the day progressed and pretty much turned out to be the worst day ever!!
It began when Lily woke up and began to scream that she wanted to go back to bed. Yes, I swear to god she got out of bed with a smile on her face, but within five minutes from getting out of bed, was screaming to go back. About 20 minutes later, she was finally quiet.
The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful until it was time to get going for pre-school. As soon as Emma was dressed in her heavy winter coat (yes it is like 10 degrees here right now), hat and gloves (yes, she should have mittens, but Kevin thought gloves would be better and now every time she puts them on she has trouble getting all her fingers in the right holes and I get to listen to constant whining), Lily begins to cry hysterically that she isn’t coming and staying with my mom.
Like I said it is 10 degrees out and truly didn’t want to drag Lily out in the frigid cold just for the car ride. Plus being a bit selfish it would take us forever to walk from the parking lot to the building with my slow poke younger child (sorry, but it is cold). So as much as I felt horrible listening to the crying, I had to leave her with grandma. I get Emma in the car and now she is crying that we need to take Minnie Mouse with her. So, beck in the house I go to retrieve Minnie Mouse. Finally off to school for the drop off and back home to get Lily down for a nap.
Two hours later and it was time to go get Emma. When I get to the school to pick up Emma, I am informed she is upset over her gloves. She comes running to me crying and I go to check her gloves on my knees for her to tell me that she never got to give out the “cards’ she made her friends. All morning long, she was writing and drawing on my pad. She had a sheet for each kid, but my shy little girl didn’t tell anyone and was hysterical after the fact. We left them with her teacher to distribute next Monday, but in the process the teacher’s aid is selling her house and wanted to know if we were interested in buying it. Beautiful house and all redone, but so out of our price range. Left a bit deflated from knowing we would never be able to afford the monthly payments, if we did try to purchase.
Once I got back to the house, I was finally able to take a shower (hey it was only 3:30 PM). Got out and gave the girls dinner. Then, I started to dry my soaking wet hair, when I heard a loud crash and Emma came hysterically running to me. Blood was dripping down her face onto her dress. It was horrendous and I must say even though the sight of blood doesn’t usually effect me, I admit I got light headed and am thankful my mom was there. Because in between trying to take care of Emma who was hysterical that she actually made herself throw up, I was so nauseous and glad to have another set of hands to help me. I never dried and straightened my hair so quickly in case, I needed to take her to get stitches, while checking her chin about 1,000 times. Thankfully it clotted and it wasn’t as bad as it originally looked, but must tell you by the time it was all over, I was so done in for and as ready for bed!! Unfortunately, it was only 6 pm and still had hours to go. Seriously, by the end of this, I was so not winning Mother of the Year accolades. Ironically, I was asked today to write something up about this topic and was left feeling anything but this.
I sat on the edge of Emma’s bed as she fell asleep and just wanted to cry looking at her peacefully falling asleep. I hate seeing my kids hurt and must tell you I actually recalled her when she was only days old and sleeping on my chest at 4 am on the couch, because I was so wiped from her screaming for hours on end from her colic.
I still remember telling her back then that it was going to be alright and that she would only be this tiny for so long, but I would always protect and take care of her. And now she is almost 4 years old and I couldn’t protect her from getting hurt today. Seriously my heart actually broke today seeing her so upset and in pain. Thankfully, it didn’t require stitches, but still my baby was hurt and I wish to god I could have held it together better for her.
Seriously, some days I do feel just defeated and this one in particular, I felt was the worst day ever. I am sure I will have more days like this, but seriously can I have some good days, too. I am not asking for much, because sitting here at 10 pm at night, all I want to do is cry. I will let you in on a little secret, I am not the mom of the year or even close to it by a long shot.
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