Some days I truly feel like I should just have never left my bed in the morning. This was one of those days and will tell you that even though it started out quiet that it was anything but as the day progressed and pretty much turned out to be the worst day ever!!
It began when Lily woke up and began to scream that she wanted to go back to bed. Yes, I swear to god she got out of bed with a smile on her face, but within five minutes from getting out of bed, was screaming to go back. About 20 minutes later, she was finally quiet.
The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful until it was time to get going for pre-school. As soon as Emma was dressed in her heavy winter coat (yes it is like 10 degrees here right now), hat and gloves (yes, she should have mittens, but Kevin thought gloves would be better and now every time she puts them on she has trouble getting all her fingers in the right holes and I get to listen to constant whining), Lily begins to cry hysterically that she isn’t coming and staying with my mom.
Like I said it is 10 degrees out and truly didn’t want to drag Lily out in the frigid cold just for the car ride. Plus being a bit selfish it would take us forever to walk from the parking lot to the building with my slow poke younger child (sorry, but it is cold). So as much as I felt horrible listening to the crying, I had to leave her with grandma. I get Emma in the car and now she is crying that we need to take Minnie Mouse with her. So, beck in the house I go to retrieve Minnie Mouse. Finally off to school for the drop off and back home to get Lily down for a nap.
Two hours later and it was time to go get Emma. When I get to the school to pick up Emma, I am informed she is upset over her gloves. She comes running to me crying and I go to check her gloves on my knees for her to tell me that she never got to give out the “cards’ she made her friends. All morning long, she was writing and drawing on my pad. She had a sheet for each kid, but my shy little girl didn’t tell anyone and was hysterical after the fact. We left them with her teacher to distribute next Monday, but in the process the teacher’s aid is selling her house and wanted to know if we were interested in buying it. Beautiful house and all redone, but so out of our price range. Left a bit deflated from knowing we would never be able to afford the monthly payments, if we did try to purchase.
Once I got back to the house, I was finally able to take a shower (hey it was only 3:30 PM). Got out and gave the girls dinner. Then, I started to dry my soaking wet hair, when I heard a loud crash and Emma came hysterically running to me. Blood was dripping down her face onto her dress. It was horrendous and I must say even though the sight of blood doesn’t usually effect me, I admit I got light headed and am thankful my mom was there. Because in between trying to take care of Emma who was hysterical that she actually made herself throw up, I was so nauseous and glad to have another set of hands to help me. I never dried and straightened my hair so quickly in case, I needed to take her to get stitches, while checking her chin about 1,000 times. Thankfully it clotted and it wasn’t as bad as it originally looked, but must tell you by the time it was all over, I was so done in for and as ready for bed!! Unfortunately, it was only 6 pm and still had hours to go. Seriously, by the end of this, I was so not winning Mother of the Year accolades. Ironically, I was asked today to write something up about this topic and was left feeling anything but this.
I sat on the edge of Emma’s bed as she fell asleep and just wanted to cry looking at her peacefully falling asleep. I hate seeing my kids hurt and must tell you I actually recalled her when she was only days old and sleeping on my chest at 4 am on the couch, because I was so wiped from her screaming for hours on end from her colic.
I still remember telling her back then that it was going to be alright and that she would only be this tiny for so long, but I would always protect and take care of her. And now she is almost 4 years old and I couldn’t protect her from getting hurt today. Seriously my heart actually broke today seeing her so upset and in pain. Thankfully, it didn’t require stitches, but still my baby was hurt and I wish to god I could have held it together better for her.
Seriously, some days I do feel just defeated and this one in particular, I felt was the worst day ever. I am sure I will have more days like this, but seriously can I have some good days, too. I am not asking for much, because sitting here at 10 pm at night, all I want to do is cry. I will let you in on a little secret, I am not the mom of the year or even close to it by a long shot.
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Michelle G says
Oh bless you, it happens to all of us, and the more kids you have the more moments (days, weeks) like that you have. You're a great Mum. Chin up girlie, hugs x
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Michelle, seriously I have many moments where I just wonder if I am doing things right or making more of a mess of things. Hopefully, I am doing Ok and not screwing things up too badly!!
Michelle G says
Well, all I can say is that your life is on display to many people daily. And if it is as you blog it, then you're doing everything right. There's nothing like a baying public to let you know when you're not 😉
PS – My middle son has been to A&E so many times, that if the incidents hadn't happened at school – there would have probably been Social Workers involved >.<
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Julie and this by far was truly one of the worst recently. But do know I am bound to have more. That said I know you too can relate, because you are wonderful mom 🙂 🙂
Considerer says
Oh dear! Sounds really traumatic! Hope you all manage to get back in sync with each other soon. These things happen, at least you care and it matters to you that your kids have a nice time in life – you'll see them right.
Janine Huldie says
Thanks for your kind words Considerer and things have been a bit more quiet since, but I am sure we will have more moments like this. However, you are right I just want to see them happy and healthy this point.
Considerer says
You will, you can be certain of that, but your commitment to them as their Mama is all they need. I'm glad things have calmed down for you.
Janine Huldie says
So true and thank you so very much again 🙂 🙂
Kat Biggie says
The life of a mama with small kids! 🙁 I hate those kinda days! And you are not a failure!
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks Alexa and appreciate you saying that. That day I felt so beaten down and will say I have had better days the past few days, but still I think we all just have our moments, but seriously appreciate your kindness. 🙂
whencrazymeetsexhaus says
I liked this ONLY because I can relate. I think all Mamas can. And we all say hang in there!!! Here's hoping today is better 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Stephanie and you are right I think most of us can relate. Just couldn't help, but feel so beaten down in that moment.
Angel Shrout says
AWWW hun you need a hug ((<3)). As a mom of all boys it really isn't any better when they are young like that. I am glad she didn't have to get stitches and that maybe you got some much needed rest..and so did they.
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks so much Angel for saying that. I got plenty of hugs from both my kids that night and am also glad no stitches in the ned were involved. They did rest and I a bit, but as a mother I must of still checked on her a few times through that night just on reflex I suppose.
Michelle Liew says
Sorry to hear that you had a bad day, Janine. But the worst is over!! Tomorrow is always a better one!! Give Lily and Emma hugs for me.
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks Michelle and they send you one right back at you!! 🙂
Justin K says
Oh, Janine! That was a bad day. Today will be better! Go easy on yourself. I didn't hear anything in that post that disqualifies you for "Mommy of the Year".
Janine Huldie says
Thanks again Justin for saying that, for tweeting and just your kindness!! 🙂
The Next Step says
Did your momma ever tell you there would be days like *this*? I don't remember quit this much havoc in the song. So glad you all survived! I *hate* having to go back for the beloved stuffed animal. gah! SO frustrating!
Janine Huldie says
Oh she sure did Lori, but man no one ever likes them I suppose when going through them Oh the stuffed animals multiply around here all the time and I never know which one will rule for any given day!!
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Steph and as I said I am sure I will have more of these days to come, but wonder if they ever do get a bit easier once you have gone through before
Camilleta says
Awww, that sounds just awful!! Everyone has days like this and I just tell myself, well tomorrow HAS to be better, right?
Janine Huldie says
Camille, you are right at least I hope you are, because there have to be good days, too!!
Bill says
Well, regarding your day, it was horrendous and you should be tired and demoralized. Regarding your shameless self-promotion…if you don't do it then who will? That's the name of the game and you need to do it in order to succeed. 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Bill and I very much here you that one, but I did write the article that will be up soon and was told the same thing by the blog owner from that site, but still I can't help sometimes like this to feel anything but.
Lanaya @ Raising Rea says
Oh girl … we have ALL been there. It seems that everything comes crashing down at once and you just feel defeated.
Just know that you are a wonderful mother and your girls know it. I think we beat ourselves up more than we should because of our personalities. We want it all to go perfectly and when it doesn't we blame ourselves.
I'm sorry you had such a shitty day but it will get better. It always does! Go buy Emma some mittens (we had to do the same for Reagan!) and give her a big hug. Love you girl 🙂
¤´¨)
¸.·*´
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks Layana truly from the bottom of my heart and guess what I had mittens, but Kevin so wanted her to try gloves. We use them now daily and so much better!! 🙂 xoxo!!!
Maggie Amada says
Janine, we've all been there. You're not alone in this. we all have those days (and sometimes entire weeks).
You're spending all day with your girls and doing everything you can for them. No one can ask anything else. I'm sure they know you love them to pieces. Children pick up on these things. Your little one will probably get over her chin in the next week and go running headlong into some mischief or other.
Life sucks a lot of the time but then, you have that moment where your little girl says something funny or achieves a big milestone and you forget about all the times you just wanted to cry.
Janine Huldie says
Maggie, thank you so much for your kindness here. I admit this happened a few days ago and Emma is totally fine. Her chin is just about healed, but this really was one of those days where I felt so down. I just wrote and wrote that night while she was sleeping and this was part of what I wrote of course. I have had some better days since, but sure I am bound to have a few more like these in my future. Just appreciate having a place to vent and others like yourself that listen and support, too 🙂
Dani Ryan says
Ugh, I hate days like this. So glad you didn't need to take your little one for stitches. That would've just made a bad day even worse! There's nothing better than to sit down with a glass of wine and some good blogs after terrible days like this. I hope you're having a better day today. Oh, and I continue to vote for you! 😉
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks so very much Dani and so very true about the glass of wine and great blogs to read. I also vote for you daily, too my friend!! 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Wow, Gabriela, I feel honored that you made an appearance here today and hope Rich is definitely resting up!! That said, I do believe Rich was a great dad to his girls growing up and now to his grand-kids as well. I like your idea much better though about the wine (the more the merrier, lol!!). Thanks a ton!! 🙂
Christy Birmingham says
I am glad Emma is okay! Hugs to you dear friend, your days are sooo busy!
Janine Huldie says
Thanks so very much Christy. Emma is doing well thank god now and appreciate you thinking of hr 🙂 😉
Ruchira says
Gosh..it sure hurts when kids get hurt. My kid has been home since a week from viral and I hate to say it, but was happy the day he went back tohis routine 😉
You are the best mom, janine. Glad your mom was there for an extra pair of hands…hugs!
Voted for ya on both the arenas 🙂
Go niners 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks so very much Ruchira for saying that first off about me, but truly I just do what any mother would do. And also thanks for the votes, too 🙂 As for the niners, I so don't know enough about football, lol!! 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Thanks Melissa and you make a valid point and when you look at it that way, it does make it a bit easier of a pill to indeed swallow when they get hurt. Thanks again 🙂 🙂
Janine Huldie says
Oh thanks Kelly and I too right now it is freezing here so I am having a lot of luck keeping them indoors, too. And I am with you that even though we all do have bad day, we have good ones, too. Thanks again and you too are a wonderful mom!! 🙂
Coretta Owen says
So I read this and then reread it and still do not see how this makes you a bad or flawed Mom. Kids fall and get hurt and it sucks more than anything but you handled everything great!
Janine Huldie says
Oh thank you so much for saying that Coretta. I just felt so defeated and deflated by the end of that night. Thankfully kids (and my daughter) is resilient and you would never know anything even happened now. So I do thank god for small favors 🙂